Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)

[Anonymous]

Is it weird to go by a different name in the workplace? I will be returning to the workforce soon for the first time after taking time off to stay at home with my daughter. At my previous place of employment, co-workers were uncomfortably close and nosy. They treated it more like a social event rather than a work environment. (In addition, there was a lot of gossip and drama as a result of that.) I had multiple co-workers send me friend requests on Facebook. One co-worker even found my baby registry.

I would like to ensure that my personal and professional lives are kept separate this time around. To be blunt, I'm not looking to make friends or socialize. I just want to do my job and then go home. I don't want prying co-workers to be able to find out information about my personal life online. Would it be weird to go by my middle name (which I never use in any other setting) to maintain some semblance of privacy?

[Anonymous]

You sound sort of unhinged. But if you are so worried, you should try to have a smaller digital footprint.

[Anonymous]

Keep your personal life off line. That should be easy enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it weird to go by a different name in the workplace? I will be returning to the workforce soon for the first time after taking time off to stay at home with my daughter. At my previous place of employment, co-workers were uncomfortably close and nosy. They treated it more like a social event rather than a work environment. (In addition, there was a lot of gossip and drama as a result of that.) I had multiple co-workers send me friend requests on Facebook. One co-worker even found my baby registry.

I would like to ensure that my personal and professional lives are kept separate this time around. To be blunt, I'm not looking to make friends or socialize. I just want to do my job and then go home. I don't want prying co-workers to be able to find out information about my personal life online. Would it be weird to go by my middle name (which I never use in any other setting) to maintain some semblance of privacy?

That's almost as awful as when my co-workers threw a baby shower for me. /s

[Anonymous]

There are so many ways to have a registry be private; that’s on you.

I have a lot of FB requests and Instagram requests from coworkers. I simply ignore them/delete them. Not one person, including my supervisor, has ever asked about it or pushed it.

Grow up, get over yourself, and realize you are not the center of the universe.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to be friends with the people that I work with either. That’s just asking for trouble. I’ll be friendly but never friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your personal life off line. That should be easy enough.

This sounds good in theory but isn’t realistic. The OP might be more concerned about the things that she isn’t voluntarily putting on the internet. One of my close friends had a stalker who was able to find out her cell phone number, address, etc. just by searching her name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep your personal life off line. That should be easy enough.

This sounds good in theory but isn’t realistic. The OP might be more concerned about the things that she isn’t voluntarily putting on the internet. One of my close friends had a stalker who was able to find out her cell phone number, address, etc. just by searching her name.

There are services to remove stuff like this, fyi.

[Anonymous]

If you're coworkers are that nosy, they will find out your real identity from HR, but most workplaces do not have such nosy coworkers!

I think you're making a huge deal out of nothing, OP. You shouldn't be posting that much on your socials if you then feel the need to manufacture a different identity for work.

[Anonymous]

your^

[Anonymous]

Wow, I made some of my best life long friends at work.

[Anonymous]

You can do whatever you want, but your threshold for normal human interaction seems very low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many ways to have a registry be private; that’s on you.

I have a lot of FB requests and Instagram requests from coworkers. I simply ignore them/delete them. Not one person, including my supervisor, has ever asked about it or pushed it.

Grow up, get over yourself, and realize you are not the center of the universe.

Yup.

Now, if you actually get a little frisson from using your middle name, or any other name, and disconnecting your professional life from your private one... sure, you can try. But there is a very large chance they will end up somewhat overlapping anyway, just because we all live in the same area. For ex, you might find a coworker at a kid's birthday party or similar activity. It's a small world.

The healthier option is to learn to distance yourself as PP described.

[Anonymous]

I dont think you are ready to return to work.

[Anonymous]

Super weird to use your middle name if you do not use it in any other setting. Wait until someone figures that out and then the gossip will really begin!

Put your FB settings on private and unsearchable by name and email address if you must. You honestly sound like a workplace culture negative. Surprised you were hired.