Tell me about your dyslexic kid
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Anonymous
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I think I’m just trying to picture how the next 10 years may go. Doing well in school was so much a part of my identity when I was growing up that I’m having trouble thinking through how things might be for my kid who may struggle in school. I would love to hear from other parents of dyslexic kids. Having a picture in my mind will help me be a supportive, helpful parent (I hope). We just started tutoring 3 hours/week. Some questions:
-what was most helpful in elementary, middle and high school? -how did your kid do socially? My kid is currently friends will kids for whom school comes cery easily. I worry that she’ll have less in common with them if school is hard for her. -how did your kid do in school eventually? -how did you manage pushing your kid to practice reading and do homework without nagging/destroying your relationship? |
Anonymous
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Make it better, only change the the answers not questions “-what was most helpful in elementary, middle and high school?
-Being at a school that does not have a big homework load so they still had downtime in elementary and middle school - Accommodations, small group testing, extra time, text to speech and speech to text - In High School being a proficient typer -how did your kid do socially? My kid is currently friends will kids for whom school comes cery easily. I worry that she’ll have less in common with them if school is hard for her. - Create a social network outside of school in case kids interests change. - Be open about the diagnosis, every October in elementary school my child would present about dyslexia to the class -how did your kid do in school eventually? - if they love a subject, support them. In our case math and robotics. This gave them confidence that they were good at something - remediated by high school, so no direct impact on academic performance but slow doing homework, so manage the class load appropriately -how did you manage pushing your kid to practice reading and do homework without nagging/destroying your relationship? - Best thing that happened to us was they loved their tutor and wanted to go, they understood why they needed tutoring - if they had a conflict with an activity that was important to them we would cancel Side Note: Child had mild dyslexia and a strong friend group inside and outside school. By 5th grade child was mostly remediated except for spelling. We did tutoring 3X a week until 7th grade, started in 2nd grade. It is a marathon. I know it is a privilege that we could afford to so much support. |
Anonymous
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My son is a dyslexic college student. He was diagnosed in 1st grade, and we did reading tutoring for 3 years and then math tutoring on and off all through his schooling (working memory is extremely low).
My family is also very intellectual and literary, and so there was a sort of culture clash when my son hated school. What I’ve had to come to terms with is that being good at school, and liking school, isn’t critical. It doesn’t need to happen in order for a child to be wonderful, worthy, accomplished, and confident. Sometimes you need to keep your foot on the gas with tutoring/remediation while acknowledging that school is mostly a load of horse manure. Who cares if they memorize the 50 states, or can spell well? There is technology for that. It can help to simply affirm that, while holding firm that society requires us to go to school and learn stuff, so we do. It’s a struggle - mostly as a parent who wants your child to love reading, thrive in class, etc. The thing I’ve found is that if you do meet the kid where they are and support the things they DO love (soccer, horses, karate, art, whatever) they have more strength for doing the terrible hard parts of school. They become resilient. My son is enjoying his college classes for the most part. He gets to pick a course of study, and that matters so much. He has been slower to mature educationally than non dyslexics, but he’s gotten there and is thriving. I’m sure your daughter will too. |
Anonymous
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My DD was diagnosed until 5th grade and we spent two years on intensive reading tutoring. She hated every minute of it.
She has done really well in school in spite of the dyslexia/dyscalculia and often doesn't want people to know because the first reaction is she is not smart (which is not the case). She is athletic which has helped since it is something she is very good at. She has tons of friends and has had no issues socially. Accommodations have helped (but she does not like to use them). She is excited about college. The thing that has been helpful is when she learns a friend is also dyslexic- which comes out because of a teacher not giving accommodations. |
Anonymous
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My dyslexic son is an engineer. He did not go to a top school or graduate with a strong GPA..but he did it and we are proud of him. I also struggled as I was a strong student and it was so important to me...but I got over it. My son is a wonderful interesting person! Spanish was his biggest struggle and I wish we could have somehow done that differently or not at all looking back. My son hated any kind of accomodations but did use a keyboard alot...and now all kids do. We did mostly outside tutoring. MCPS was not helpful. Be his cheerleader all the way.
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Anonymous
| Tutors. |
Anonymous
| fwiw, my cousin really struggled with reading. He had a tremendous interest in history etc and watched a lot of documentaries on the History Channel, Discovery (it was a different time lol), etc. He used stategies he got from school and private support, used a keyboard for typing, etc. Reading was hard for him and his parents encouraged him to learn in modes that worked for him/be curious about the world etc. He went on to get an IB diploma (not that academic achivement is the end-all, but just as shorthand about what he was able to do), went to a good college and got a masters degree etc. In the moment it can be really hard and you will need to be a cheerleader. But, I think it is great and was very helpful that his parents helped him to learn in modalities that were easier for him and separated out school challanges from learning/intellect/curiousity. |
Anonymous
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My cousin is dyslexic and went to a top university and is now a successful physician in a competitive area of medicine.
A good friend of mine has a daughter so the dyslexia who has a very high IQ. She is thriving in a school for kids with language based learning disabilities. |
Anonymous
(to be clear, he struggled with reading because he had dyslexia along with some other stuff) |
Anonymous
| OP, read “Overcoming Dyslexia” by Sally Shaywitz. Lots of great examples of how best to support a dyslexic child, and case studies of people with dyslexia who have excelled in every field: law, medicine, business, etc. |
Anonymous
With the right supports, your DC is capable of doing well in school. There are dyslexics that struggle academically and there are dyslexics who do exceptionally well academically. Getting the right supports in the academic classes is essential. Building in down time is essential too. Dr. Sally Shaywitz’s book, “OverComing Dyslexia “ was very helpful in helping us create a map of where to go and what to do. My DC is older and Maryann Wolf’s book “Proust and the Squid” was also helpful. Every kid is different and has their own mix of challenges and strengths. It is through their strengths that they will overcome their challenges - so finding a way to support their strengths can be just as important as supporting their challenges. My DC is in graduate school right and is in his twenties. My DC is profoundly affected by dyslexia, dysgraphia and ADHD. However, the ADHD seems to be very connected to the dyslexia and dysgraphia and he does not have many of the common challenges others have with ADHD. He is also extremely good at math and science. The term 2E came into common usage when he was in MS. I still have problems with that term, but it describes him in an academic setting. ES: IEP in 2nd grade and we hired a three times a week tutor afterschool and in summers. The tutor was well versed in dyslexia and trained in many different reading programs. We chose Wilson because it was a good fit for DC and it was the “it” program that year in school so many teachers had basic training in it. The tutor was certified Level II. We also continued with audio books at DC’s cognitive level. This helped him keep up with his peers in language, background knowledge, vocabulary, increasingly complex character and plot development. Probably did at least 30minutes a day. When he needed a new book and wasn’t really interested, I would pop one in when we were in the car for at least a twenty minute ride. That was the time needed to hook him. In the early years, we would read books to him -like the Magic Tree house and others that were popular to read in his age group. As he progressed through ES, we mined the Newberry Honor and Awards winners as the Arlington library had a great CD collection. We also became big fans of Rick Riordan and Harry Potter. In later years, we joined Learning Ally and Bookshare. 3rd grade I discovered Wrightslaw.com and learned that his IEP was insufficient and I took a few of Wrightslaw’s classes and became much more informed about the whole process. We hired a private evaluator who discovered the dysgraphia and ADHD in addition to the dyslexia -and we learned how severe his dyslexia was. We continued with the private tutor and worked with DC on the days he did not have his tutor- using materials that the tutor provided for homework. We scribed and read homework to him. If there was time, he would retype what we had scribed. This continued until mid high school in a gradual lessening of scribing and reading as he became more adept at using the technology (and the technology improved too). In the summers, he would do 20 minutes of a typing program each day to get better at typing. He was always slow, so I would take the timed tests for him so that he could move to the next level. He is still a slowish typist but he says he types as fast as his brain works so he still types instead of dictates to Siri or other speech to text apps that are available now. 4-6th grade more of the same. Progress is slow and steady. Think tortoise not hare. Think marathon not sprint. The small steps add up over time. MS- on advise of the private evaluator we started taking the gas off ameliorating and put more gas on getting up to snuff on technology and accommodations. We still had the private tutor until mid7th grade - but more for a smoother adjustment to middle school. He took a special Ed reading class in both 7th and 8th grade. The school gave him Kurzweil and that was fantastic for him at the time and he continued to use it through college and into grad school. Now, technology in programs like Word and the speech to text apps is sufficient and he can fly with just those. He had a laptop in class at this point (this was well before FCPS started laptops for all). His accommodations were things like a simple four function calculator, a reader and scribe for assessments, extra time on assessments, clip art when drawing was needed, priority seating (he needed to be in front and near a plug), teacher notes - so he could listen to the lecture, spelling did not count unless it was spelling, electronic textbooks (now most have that automatically). He was in Team Taught for English and Honors/AAP for the other core classes. We punted on foreign language. I looked, for years, for ASL option and had trouble finding one that would work with his schedule and was near to us. I lobbied in HS for one, and they finally added it a year or two after he had graduated. HS - more of the same, he became fully on technology (except when it failed/crashed from time to time) at the end of sophomore year. As HS progressed, he started using the electronic versions of a scribe and reader during assessments and by college was using them exclusively. The accommodations we fought for in MS have basically stayed with him through college. He took 6 or 7 APs and two post AP math classes in high school. He took the Honors history classes because the reading and writing requirements in the AP classes would have left too little down time during the school year. So, he concentrated on his interests and stuck to the math and science APs. He made the all A honor roll every quarter in HS and won the math award at graduation. He was an Eagle Scout - which was his main EC. I was a marching band geek in a family of marching band geeks and had hoped to continue the tradition, but that was a hill he was ready to die on - so he did not take up an instrument. It taught me that we need to listen to our children and let them in on the decisions. We are not sporty people, so walking/hiking for exercise is what we do. Other kids can find their niche in hs school in sports, theatre, music, art…… He majored in math in college and is currently in a Data Science Masters program. The decision to not take a language was explained in his applications and it did not seem to affect his results. For example, he was accepted into UMD-CP’s Honors program. He ended up elsewhere, but that is an example. He still gets the simple calculator as an accommodation, not because he doesn’t know the rote math facts, but because the recall is slow and his time is better served on the actual math that is being tested. It takes time, effort, and dedication, but our kids can do what they need to do with the proper supports and balance. Don’t try to do everything at once, triage and work on one or two things at a time. Down time is important too. There is quite a bit of time between now and graduation. |
Anonymous
| Op here. Thanks for all of this info. What great parents and kids. |
Anonymous
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I have a dyslexic 7th grader. He does really well in school for the most part and is honors classes but his reading speed sometimes presents an extra challenge.
He was diagnosed in 2nd grade and he had 1:1 at school 3x a week plus private tutoring in OG 3x a week for two years. His math is fine but not exceptional. Very, very good at music and quite athletic. In 3rd and 4th grade he had teachers that did a lot of reading club. That was not possible for him to do on his own so we would do it together, taking turns reading pages and I would help him with words as needed. It definitely did help him despite the pain. I recommend audiobooks and ensuring that your kid has activities that they enjoy and excel at. It keeps their confidence up. |