Postpartum doula - day vs night?

[Anonymous]

I'm having my third child in July. My older kids will be 3 and 5. DH has limited parental leave (2 weeks) and works a demanding job. We have family about an hour away who can come help probably once or twice a week. I'm also in the process of hiring a part-time nanny for the older kids for the summer.

I had PPD after my last kid, so I'm hoping to get a postpartum doula to help out in the first 4-6 weeks. I can't decide if it would be better to have some coverage during the day so that I can be with the older kids and help them through the transition, or some coverage at night so that I'll be better rested and just feel better overall. Would love some input from those who have hired postpartum doulas.

[Anonymous]

I also have three, and also had bad PPD after my second, and my older kids were also 3 and 5 when #3 came along (1 year ago) so we have a lot in common! I did not have PPD after #3, and I wish you the same!

One big difference though - I'm in DC, so both my 3 and 5 year old were in full-time school when #3 came along.

I would put in a STRONG vote for nighttime, starting at 2 weeks when your husband goes back to work. Everything, everything, everything in a house goes better when mom is well rested. It's the rising tide that lifts all boats. After not doing so when the first two were born, we had a postpartum doula/night nanny 4 nights a week for about 10 weeks (weeks 3-12) when the baby was born and the difference was dramatic. Our HHI income is not a number where you would think we would have done that, ha. But everything else becomes manageable when you're getting sleep. It's honestly the best money I've ever spent.

I will also say that while my 5 year old adjusted with no bumps, the bumps with the 3 year old came later than expected. When the baby was about 4-6 months old? At first it was new and exciting and lots of people visited and paid her extra attention and brought gifts (saints. And also anytime someone said "Oh I want to bring a gift for the baby, what do you need?" I said "please nothing we have absolutely everything we could possibly need for a baby, but the big kids would LOVE a little something" and that worked out awesome.) I think once things settled into a routine is when she was like... wait a minute. I get less of mom and dad's attention... forever? and she had a few months of being really clinging. I planned a lot of 1:1 time with her during that time (as did my husband) and that really helped. It was also (conveniently) right about the time when baby was in a good routine and we had the bandwidth to do that.

Congrats and good luck! I don't know exactly how close together your older two are in age, but I found three under six DRAMATICALLY easier than two under two. And the night nanny really helped with that!

[Anonymous]

I didn’t even know what to do with my day doula, honestly. They were kind of useless; coming up with tasks for them to do felt like more work. Night nanny all the way. I had one with each birth, and after a nightmare sleeper, for the next kid we preemptively booked a night nanny for a full six months postpartum just in case. Everything is so hard with bad sleep.

[Anonymous]

Hi I am a PPD and newborn care specialist and have availability starting June on. Most people seem to benefit more from overnight help. I’d love to chat more if you’re interested. I can be reached by email: [e-mail]

[Anonymous]

Put the kids in full time camp for the summer. Get help for the nighttime.