| ... its a friend who meets the definition of a narcissist perfectly and talks about how angelic she is and how problematic everyone else in her life is and also gossips a lot and gossips about you as well? Only issue is that then you are awkward in your mutual alumni group or have to leave it as well as she is very active there. You do feel bad for her as she got divorced several times and only has an estranged adult kid and parents passed and siblings are long distance. She does socialize and entertain a lot so she'll be okay. |
| Yes. |
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Is this lady your friend: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1321835.page
😂🤣😂🤣 |
| Would you leave alumni group as well or be awkward there? |
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How much time are you spending with your "mutual alumni group" that this is a problem? Just distance yourself, say you were busy if she asks, and let it ride.
If this person was gossiping to you, you allowed it. That's on you. Change the thing you can control: your own behavior. |
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"Ghosting" is nothing more than lacking the courage to meaningfully end a relationship, or slow fading (as happens in life) and then being willing to acknowledge your choices if called out.
Somebody online gave this behavior a cute nickname so people feel better about doing it. Proceed however you want OP. But describing your friend as a narcissist and otherwise unpleasant person doesn't give you a pass to behave less than admirably. Whatever you do is on you. Obvious caveat is in cases of physical abuse. Yes, then you "ghost" for safety. |
| Just slow fade. |
Guilty as charged but when you've been friends since teen years, suddenly changing relationship dynamics once you grow up is difficult. It takes some time to learn that passively listening is as bad as actively gossiping. Also if you've been long distance for years, you don't have as much in common but your common college friends and its always hard to draw boundary when talking turns into gossiping. |
| No one is perfect and we all have some degree of narcissism. It’s all about what your deal breakers are for friendship. FWIW, it is extremely hard to not gossip in the DMV. The people you have or will come into contact with should speak for itself. You will have content for years on end to talk about…Now if you move to the middle of nowhere like, I don’t know…Idaho…there’s a place you can shut your mouth on. It’s going to be alright OP, live your best life. |
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It would be hard to ghost someone if you share mutual friends together.
A viable option would be to simply speak to them minimally if at all possible whenever you see them. |
| You can solve that one with a blanket ghost…you get a ghost…you get a ghost, just ghost ‘‘em all. |