Driving Suspension
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Anonymous
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We moved out of the DC area. My daughter, 17, attends a private school with no buses or public transportation. She recently got a one week driving suspension due to going off campus for lunch. Only seniors can do that. Juniors do it all the time, she was with a group of 8 girls that just walked one block to a McDonalds, I'm not that upset about the incident, but I told her she got caught and has to do the time.
But... I didn't realize instead of detention or some other loss of privilege that would affect her, it would be one week loss of driving privilege. The dean wrote us at 5:30 today to let us know it's next week. I'm out of town next week. My husband is not able to miss work morning and afternoon to take her to school. He's not willing to take her in early and come home late, it would add an extra 3 hours of commuting to his day. He told her to park just off campus and walk in. I'm really concerned this will be seen as "flouting" the suspension. I'm sure the neighbors of the school don't want kids parking there and she will almost surely be caught if she does it for a week. I'm asking the dean if there's any way to delay the suspension one week. If I'm back from my trip, I can manage most of the driving. What would folks do? To be clear, I 100% support the school punishing her. But is it reasonable since it affects her parents more than her to ask for some flexibility? Is my husbands plan actually reasonable? |
Anonymous
| Have her drive and par close and walk. Done. |
Anonymous
OP here. The way the school is set up, parking in the nearby neighborhood is actually more convenient than the underclassman parking. It's a big, spread out campus. It's not a "rule," but it's requested the kids don't do that (or the parents to avoid carpool). I'm just afraid it will be seen as flouting the suspension. The notice said if she breaks this suspension, she will get an actual honor code suspension. The type that goes on your record. |
Anonymous
| Either park close and walk unless that’s explicitly against the rules and if so pay for Ubers with her own money? |
Anonymous
No one is policing the neighborhood. A few kids park near my house and walk, and it’s fine. |
Anonymous
OP here. I know I have an answer for everything, but students are not allowed to get ride share on campus. I guess she could ride share to right outside campus? But that doesn't solve the problem of being seen walking into and out of campus each day. Basically the letter said - your parents or a classmate needs to drive you to school. |
Anonymous
| What a stupid punishment. Couldn't the school come up with something else that doesn't make it the parent's hardship and doesn't risk the kid missing school because just getting to school is so difficult? |
Anonymous
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A driving suspension is a terrible burden on the family and means punishing the household as well. I think you should explain this to the Dean and request another punishment as an alternative.
What an idiotic private school, OP. I wouldn't want my kid in such a place. |
Anonymous
OP again. Thanks. I guess if they won't move the date, that's the only real solution. It just seems, well, really dumb as a punishment. |
Anonymous
Agree that it's a very stupid, short-sighted punishment but be careful asking for a different one. You don't want her being told she can't, for example, go to prom. Just tread carefully |
Anonymous
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Make this mostly her problem by telling her to arrange a ride with a classmate
If she can't do that, have an uber drop her off/pick up several blocks away |
Anonymous
OP again. Prom is over here, but I'd love something like that, tbh. Being chauffeured to school is actually something i do for her as a treat once or twice a month! She actually called me almost in tears, mid day, because one of her friends already had one strike on this offense and would have had a real suspension had she been caught again. Only my daughter was spotted, but she was really afraid they'd ask her to rat out her friends. I just told her the most important thing was not to lie, and to think about watergate (they are right there in APUSH). So the actual meeting was a total relief to her! On the other hand, the dean knew this was happening at noon, and then wrote me at 4:58. So, basically I can't even contact her until tomorrow (day I leave town) to see about moving it. |
Anonymous
| This is a punishment for the parent, not for her. In this case, I agree with your husband. Have her drive and park in a neighborhood and walk. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my daughter taking an Uber alone. |
Anonymous
| 19:42 and if you don't want to do this, I guess I would ask for an alternate punishment. If they say no, then I would call her in and say you have no way to get her to school. That would be really unfortunate to have her miss a week but that would be her real punishment and it would be extreme. |
Anonymous
| Update from OP. It seems the dean of students works late. Suspension successfully delayed one week. |