Should we just bag it??

[Anonymous]

We were contemplating applying our DS to STA and Maret for 4th grade. We just had our conference and now I'm feeling a little disappointed and wondering whether it's pointless to apply. While there were many positives to what was said (ie: he's very bright, great reading comprehension, insightful, thoughtful etc.) the teacher recently had to assign seat DS and 3 other boys because they were talking or making little designs with their hands when they weren't supposed to be. Teacher also said handwriting is pretty hard to read, and it affects his work sometimes (in that he may mistake one of his own numbers because he can't read it, and then solves incorrectly.) Anyway, DH thinks I'm being too hard on DS and that we should just go ahead and apply, but I don't know if I feel like going through the process with this many negatives stacked against DS.

[Anonymous]

Are you coming from a private or a public? I ask because it may be that the extra attention/smaller classes may be just what your son would need to help him concentrate a bit more. Those behaviors sound totally normal to me and would not exclude him as a candidate at either school. If that were the case we'd all be in big trouble!

[Anonymous]

So many negatives? You mean bad handwriting and a behavior problem so serious it rose to the level of... seat reassignment???!!!

No reason not to apply elsewhere. The schools you're interested in won't be making choices based on penmanship or ability to remain silent.

That said, if you have a choice re which teachers write letters of rec, you'll feel more comfortable if you choose someone other than the teacher with whom you've just conferenced.

[Anonymous]

I think your child sounds completely normal, behavior-wise. Getting into STA and Maret are longshots for sure, which is probably why you are feeling it is hopeless. I assure you that it is NOT, moreover, your DC definitely won't get in if you don't apply! The positives from his conference sound very much like what any school would be looking for in a prospective student.

[Anonymous]

Your kid does sound totally normal, and you can work with him on handwriting (especially numbers, it seems) in even just the next month, before letters are written, if that's your concern.

It's what, $60 per school these days (we went through applications a few years ago). Plus time touring and interviewing. You have to decide if it seems worth it.

Just don't tell DS that he's definitely going to go to one of the schools you visit, or start dreaming of a particular school, because a lot of it really is luck even if DS is totally normal.

[Anonymous]

No, do not bag it for those reasons!

Are you currently in a public school? Either way, it would be hard to avoid getting a recommendation from his main teacher, so I'm not seeing how that would work as a strategy.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I think you're overreacting. perhaps you should widen your search and look at other schools as well.

[Anonymous]

OP - Are you at Eaton?

[Anonymous]

Apply and work on the writing.

[Anonymous]

Apply. If he has great grades and scores, no school will care that he acts like a kid and has messy handwriting. He might or might not get in, but this won't be what makes the difference.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are at Washington Episcopal School. Apply out!!! And, find another teacher who likes your DS for the evaluation. Sometimes the schools want 2 evaluations; Homeroom and another teacher. This might give his recs. more balance--if that is your concern.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a normal little boy! They can be wiggly and schools know it and won't shy away from active boys. And there are plenty of upper school boys at STA at least with atrocious handwriting. Don't psych yourself out--give it a shot and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Maret and St. Albans are incredibly different. Why not apply to other schools to enhance your chances since it seems like you'd be happy at such a range of places?

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this well, but if you're getting this discouraged so early on in the process, maybe you need to step back and readjust your perspective. The whole application process is like a roller coaster, or like buying a house. If you are emotionally invested in every detail you will be miserable, especially as so much involves luck. If he doesn't get in, it's not necessarily a reflection on you or him, and everyone will still be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thank you to all those that responded; I appreciate the reality check. It was especially heartening to hear that there are a lot of boys at STA with horrible handwriting. To the poster who asked about applying to schools that are so different- the answer is that there are diverging elements of DS's personality that I could see fitting in very well at both schools. To those that have applied and been admitted to these schools, did your DC have similar issues (ie: poor handwriting, or chatty in class) that did not prevent admission? Thanks.