If you dated a divorced man for financial security

[Anonymous]

And he had you in a stepmom role, but you were much younger and had no money, how did that end up working out in the long run? Did you stay together or did you wise up as you got older?

[Anonymous]

why?

[Anonymous]

There is no financial stability in a divorced man with kids. His money belongs to those kids.

[Anonymous]

It's a very dumb idea and totally not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I did, and it worked out really well for me. I was a broke, upset college student after my parents kicked me out at 17, my senior year of high school. It was really hard trying to balance school and work to pay my tuition with no help, and I had no family or friends to lean on. Then, when I was 20, I met a 34-year-old dad of two girls, 8 and 11, and he helped me out a lot. He bought me a nice house and paid off my schooling. I did the occasional babysitting or homework help, but that was about it. When I graduated, he proposed, and of course, I said yes—we got married. A couple of years later we had our own kids, and now, 23 years later, we’re still going strong. He’s truly amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no financial stability in a divorced man with kids. His money belongs to those kids.

No, it doesn’t but usually the ex expects him to pay for everything on top of child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did, and it worked out really well for me. I was a broke, upset college student after my parents kicked me out at 17, my senior year of high school. It was really hard trying to balance school and work to pay my tuition with no help, and I had no family or friends to lean on. Then, when I was 20, I met a 34-year-old dad of two girls, 8 and 11, and he helped me out a lot. He bought me a nice house and paid off my schooling. I did the occasional babysitting or homework help, but that was about it. When I graduated, he proposed, and of course, I said yes—we got married. A couple of years later we had our own kids, and now, 23 years later, we’re still going strong. He’s truly amazing.

Asking in all seriousness, I thought you posted a "where did my life go" and "did I make the right choice" post about this a few months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did, and it worked out really well for me. I was a broke, upset college student after my parents kicked me out at 17, my senior year of high school. It was really hard trying to balance school and work to pay my tuition with no help, and I had no family or friends to lean on. Then, when I was 20, I met a 34-year-old dad of two girls, 8 and 11, and he helped me out a lot. He bought me a nice house and paid off my schooling. I did the occasional babysitting or homework help, but that was about it. When I graduated, he proposed, and of course, I said yes—we got married. A couple of years later we had our own kids, and now, 23 years later, we’re still going strong. He’s truly amazing.

How did a 34 year old single father of two have enough money to buy an extra house?

[Anonymous]

What?

[Anonymous]

Just work as a nanny for a couple of years and go to school

[Anonymous]

A man is not a plan.

If you “have no money,” you need to come up with a way to support yourself.

Then you will have the luxury of choosing a life partner based upon character traits, not bank balance. Love and attraction, not need.

[Anonymous]

A career is not a plan.

In the long run, real relationships with real people are a lot more valuable and stable than a career.

[Anonymous]

Men make money to get better access to desirable sex partners

Women keep themselves up to have better access to men who make money

There’s obviously a lot of crossover, but I’ve never understood all the hate in posts about how Kate / Meghan etc. were gold digging.

Like, OK Genius. That’s all of history.

You can either get put into an arranged marriage, get pregnant or get someone pregnant and be herded into a marriage, or you can arrange the assets you have into an attractive alliance.

It’s just not new, is all I am saying. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A career is not a plan.

In the long run, real relationships with real people are a lot more valuable and stable than a career.

A career most certainly is a plan

And yes, in the long run, real relationship relationships are invaluable.

If you have your own career and your own money, you have much more agency and choice in your relationships. Thus, your chances of having a real, authentic relationship are much higher.

Also, it is possible to look great and have a great career at the same time. Why not just do that! Just sayin…

[Anonymous]

There is not a lot of security in dating a divorced man. He is a) divorced for a reason b) less likely to marry you and c) more likely to wind up divorced again.