Blended Family College Tour

[Anonymous]

Blended family, two sets of step parents. Kiddo is going to admitted students day 5 hours away. Plan was to accompany kiddo there and then split off into student/parent sessions. Now we find out the other set of parents are also attending. They already visited the school and this is our first time. Is it rude that we don't want to spend time together as a group? We rather do this without them... we think it's slightly embarrassing our 17 year old will have an entire cheering section there. We don't want to bow out because we've yet to see the school, but kiddo sees no issue with it so we dropped it.

When will it end? They're so overbearing.

[Anonymous]

Stepmom here. You are rude that you aren’t recognizing these people at equally as related to the child as you and your spouse are. Tons of college kids have divorced parents. Big tent this situation more support for a kid can be a net positive if you let it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom here. You are rude that you aren’t recognizing these people at equally as related to the child as you and your spouse are. Tons of college kids have divorced parents. Big tent this situation more support for a kid can be a net positive if you let it.

To date, it hasn't been net positive. Kid is struggling to be independent and is struggling with maturity.

[Anonymous]

There is no way you can convince me that anyone who says "kiddo" as many times as you just did is less annoying than the other set of parents. I suggest you stay home and let them go. No matter your ex divorced you.

[Anonymous]

They don't seem overbearing to me just from this post but maybe there is more.

You really need to learn to just gray rock/forget them and do what you want.

I am in the same situation so I know what I am talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blended family, two sets of step parents. Kiddo is going to admitted students day 5 hours away. Plan was to accompany kiddo there and then split off into student/parent sessions. Now we find out the other set of parents are also attending. They already visited the school and this is our first time. Is it rude that we don't want to spend time together as a group? We rather do this without them... we think it's slightly embarrassing our 17 year old will have an entire cheering section there. We don't want to bow out because we've yet to see the school, but kiddo sees no issue with it so we dropped it.

When will it end? They're so overbearing.

Dropped what with whom? Were you complaining about them to your kid? No bueno.

[Anonymous]

Are you one of the birth parents?

[Anonymous]

So, you don’t think dad should go? Selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of the birth parents?

Birth parent is a term for adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom here. You are rude that you aren’t recognizing these people at equally as related to the child as you and your spouse are. Tons of college kids have divorced parents. Big tent this situation more support for a kid can be a net positive if you let it.

To date, it hasn't been net positive. Kid is struggling to be independent and is struggling with maturity.

.

Stepmom again. This is something most 17-18 year olds struggle with. Look at Erik Erikson’s theories of psychosocial development published in 1950 adolescence: identity vs role confusion teenagers developed a sense of self and personal identity.

This is the struggle and the growth period for all kids.

[Anonymous]

What’s embarrassing is your repeated use of “kiddo.”

[Anonymous]

I have attended more than a few accepted student days. There will be plenty of people in the parent breakout sessions. You don’t have to sit all together. Say your hellos and sit with your spouse. There will be sessions that include the college bound student and hopefully the itinerary is clear. Allow and encourage your student to sit with whomever he wants. Maybe he can alternate?

[Anonymous]

Stop calling this young adult "kiddo"! FFS. That will do a lot to "blend" your family, which I suspect is nowhere near as "blended" as you would like to pretend.

At this age, the times you have to interact with the other set of parents are almost over. So I would just suck it up.

It's not embarrassing if the kid isn't embarrassed, and that isn't your call to make anyway. Maybe it's you who is embarrassed? Or you just don't want to see the other family? Either way, being a pain about this even slightly will make the kid (and the other adults) resent you. This child has already endured divorce, parents dating, two remarriages, and probably just wants a simple, no-drama day where they aren't constantly forced to choose between their parents. But if you don't sit together, you're making the kid choose. And the kid might try to alternate to be fair, but will deeply resent whichever people are choosing to be difficult.

Why don't you just not attend? That's fine too. Problem solved. It's not Admitted Annoying Stepparents Day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom here. You are rude that you aren’t recognizing these people at equally as related to the child as you and your spouse are. Tons of college kids have divorced parents. Big tent this situation more support for a kid can be a net positive if you let it.

To date, it hasn't been net positive. Kid is struggling to be independent and is struggling with maturity.

Maybe kid would be more independent if four people weren't helicoptering Admitted STUDENTS Day.

[Anonymous]

You'll get better advice if you stop being so coy. Are you the stepmother hating the bio mom and judging everyone else's parenting? Are you the bio mom hating the AP/new wife?