Switching from in-home daycare to full-time nanny
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Anonymous
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Looking for some feedback on this!
My husband and I work full time, mainly in office. We’ve always used an in home daycare. Oldest was there until 3.5 then switched to preschool. Youngest (now 18 mos) has been there since 4 months. It’s not convenient for us location wise and I work downtown. We’ve stuck with this place because of the level of care and trust. With 2 drop offs and pick ups, it’s hard. We are at a point where we could afford full time help. We are thinking of hiring someone full-time to stay home with youngest and pick up oldest (now 4) at 3pm so he doesn’t have to do aftercare. Pros- More flexibility for us Less time at preschool for oldest (who might really benefit from this, he’s an introvert) One on one care for youngest and he will nap better at home More coverage during summer months, less logistics Cons- A new transition. Would my oldest not like being picked up by someone new? Would he adjust? Would he be jealous that younger brother is home? Less socialization for youngest, but he has his brother and he’s a fairly chill kid. Not sure it would matter. Youngest getting used to someone new. More expensive Anyone been in a similar position and made the change? How did it work out? Did you feel like your home overall ran more smoothly and you had more bandwidth? Thanks so much!! |
Anonymous
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If you can afford it, I would do it. I’m assuming you’re in DC and so have full day PK3? No need for major peer socialization before that. And our nanny has always befriended other nannies at the park so there’s some socializing.
Good naps, easier logistics? Go for it. |
Anonymous
| I think you’re missing the biggest con, which is finding someone reliable and then even when you do, dealing with sick days, people moving on, etc etc. You need a backup. If it can’t be one of you because of your jobs, it has to be local family or an agency. But bake in that cost, because you can’t do without it. |
Anonymous
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I think your kids will be fine with the transition to a nanny, BUT...
1. The nanny needs to be very engaged with the kids and take them out where there are a lot of other kids. Maybe to like a jungle gym or some other class 2. you will need a backup plan if the nanny gets sick I had my oldest in daycare for 3 years before I got a nanny after DC#2 was born. The nanny was awesome, very engaging with the kids, took them out pretty much everyday. I did put DC#2 in a prek program for 2 days/week at 2.5, and the nanny drove DC there. The nanny we had took at most 2 sick days in the 4 years we had her. I still miss her... and my kids are 17 and 20. |
Anonymous
| All very helpful, thank you. Having someone who would call out for many sick days wouldn’t work well. Occasionally is fine, but if weekly or biweekly, it would be tough. I’m speaking with someone now who I like a lot, and she brought up engaging play dates and activities outside the home. Seems very active. I’ve interviewed many, which has been helpful. |
Anonymous
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I completely identify with the 'double drop-off' struggle—it’s a logistical nightmare in D.C. traffic. We’re in Petworth with a newborn and a toddler, and we hit that same wall where the 'convenience' of our old setup just wasn't worth the stress anymore.
We moved to the Au Pair route (specifically with Cultural Care) and it sounds like it would solve almost all your 'Pros' while mitigating the 'Cons': The Logistics Win: Having someone at home means zero morning drop-offs for the youngest and no aftercare for the 4-year-old. Your au pair can do that 3 p.m. pickup, which is a game-changer for an introverted kid who just wants to be in his own space after school. The Transition: In our experience, kids adjust remarkably fast when the 'new person' is part of the household. It feels less like a 'sitter' and more like a big sister/brother. The Socialization Myth: At 18 months, 1-on-1 care at home (plus neighborhood playground trips) is often better for their development than the overstimulation of a group setting anyway. The Math: You mentioned it’s 'more expensive,' but for two kids in D.C., an au pair is often a wash compared to daycare + aftercare + summer camps. Pro-tip on the cost: I’m a bit of a spreadsheet nerd and found a way to bridge the price gap. In the D.C. area, Cultural Care has a $1,000 regional promo right now that actually stacks with the $250 host family referral ($1,250 total off). The D.C. promo ends April 30, so if you're thinking of making the switch for summer/fall, now is the time to lock it in. If you want a referral link for that extra $250 credit, feel free to use ours: https://www.culturalcare.com/refer/?referralId=AD37D4FD It definitely gave us a lot more bandwidth and simplified our 'Operations' at home. Happy to answer any questions about the D.C. matching process! |
Anonymous
| Obviously your oldest would meet the nanny at your house and play with them for an hour to get comfortable, and then for a couple of days the nanny would go WITH you to pick them up from preschool so they get used to seeing them there and having them in the car. Then on the third day you and the nanny switch seats - the nanny drives. Fourth day you tell oldest Nanny will go in to pick him up and bring to car (where you will be passenger seat). THEN the nanny starts doing pickup without a parent. Transitions are just that. Not a flip of a switch. A slow transition. |
Anonymous
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I stayed at home with my kids until they were 3 years old. They did not get the daycare socialization before 3. And they were perfectly fine, healthy, happy and content.
Go with the nanny. It is a good option if you have that level of trust. Please have nanny cams every where. |
Anonymous
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I think your 18MO can easily adapt….as long as you hire a fun, engaging nanny for him! 🧸
Yes it will take some time to get him used to being around a brand-new person but it can be successfully done! Logistic-wise, as long as you can comfortably afford to do so - having a Nanny will make life easier in the long run! |
Anonymous
This, 100%. Screen for reliability when you do reference checks. But I agree that avoiding aftercare is important and worthwhile for some kids. I would ignore the advice about an au pair which is clearly from some agency rep. Those girls are just too young. I had a hard time being patient with a baby and young child and they were my kids! I would never leave a young inexperienced person with a baby who can’t talk. And most of them are not good drivers no matter what they tell you in the interviews. |
Anonymous
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I have known too many people with nightmare Au Pair stories. The girls are too immature. It’s like having a teen to parent.
Nanny sounds perfect for the OP. Yes, transition slowly as described above. Screen well for a loving, engaged, reliable woman and enjoy! |
Anonymous
Well, if your nanny is sick you are in a bind. BUT with public school days off for your 4 year old, you're still in a bind now, but with a nanny you'd have that covered (because that would be part of the deal: 1 child most of the time, but during summers, school breaks, snow days, and school days off (for conferences, teacher planning/PD days, holidays) your nanny cares for both kids. AND, picking your child up at 3pm probably would be wonderful for your older child. |
Anonymous
| +1 for nanny if you can afford it. The only advantage of daycare IMO is that it has the most reliable coverage. But kids get sick so often from it and that kind of negates the reliability. |
Anonymous
| With an au pair you need to have a car for her, an extra phone, and room in your house. Keep that in mind. |