Would you be upset?

[Anonymous]

I have college kids who are generally fine. This week they are home and dd scratched the car parking and ds lost his car keys. Now he’s going back (needs car as his college is rural and expensive flights) and we have to remake a key as an emergency. I am so upset. It was a really hectic week at work and I’m trying to be patient and understanding with dd who did feel bad and now this.

[Anonymous]

Calm down and give them a hug. Will you remember this in 10 years? Will any of it matter?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be! Those are costly mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Calm down and give them a hug. Will you remember this in 10 years? Will any of it matter?

You would be zero percent mad? This is about 1k + for nothing in a week (other driver wants to go through insurance and key will be 300+.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would be upset but it shouldnt be so upsetting that it ruins your week. Are they leaving everything to you to fix?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be upset but it shouldnt be so upsetting that it ruins your week. Are they leaving everything to you to fix?

Yes bc they don’t know how to handle it (to be fair I don’t think most 18 and 19yo would)

[Anonymous]

Let them deal with it. Your son can take on getting another key made and pay for it and your daughter can do what needs to be done related to the scratch. You don't need to do any of this for them beyond the account holder giving permission to talk to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be upset but it shouldnt be so upsetting that it ruins your week. Are they leaving everything to you to fix?

I am also upset bc this is the second night we try to have a nice evening (the car thing happened on dh’s bday) and they’re going back tomorrow for ds (if the car situation can be fixed) and Sunday for dd and now this is derailing what was supposed to be a nice evening. We have had a bunch of their friends in and out all week, and I am running very low on sleep bc of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them deal with it. Your son can take on getting another key made and pay for it and your daughter can do what needs to be done related to the scratch. You don't need to do any of this for them beyond the account holder giving permission to talk to your daughter.

Have your kids at that age done it all themselves in those situations?

[Anonymous]

I'd be mildly upset about having to pay for an emergency key (which my college kid would not know how to do in time to return to school, so I'd have to do it). The scratch? Eh. It happens. She can try to buff it out before she leaves.

What's more important is that they are contrite and promise to be more careful with the family possessions next time. It's how young adults learn, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be mildly upset about having to pay for an emergency key (which my college kid would not know how to do in time to return to school, so I'd have to do it). The scratch? Eh. It happens. She can try to buff it out before she leaves.

What's more important is that they are contrite and promise to be more careful with the family possessions next time. It's how young adults learn, OP.

Idk if they do. It is a LOT of money and the locksmiths we called cannot do it in time bc it’s a fob they must order. Dd was very contrite but tbh ds not as much .

[Anonymous]

It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.

Not as a teen bc I bought my own car as an adult and lost keys once as an adult so it was all my responsibility. And it’s impossible to have a nice weekend bc logistically it means we might have to drive ds 10 hours round trip since no locksmith can do this tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.

Not as a teen bc I bought my own car as an adult and lost keys once as an adult so it was all my responsibility. And it’s impossible to have a nice weekend bc logistically it means we might have to drive ds 10 hours round trip since no locksmith can do this tomorrow.

^^^and to be clear the thing with dd I was not too too upset about and we figured it out though it took a lot of time on the phone. This is a bigger deal bc there is no fix now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be mildly upset about having to pay for an emergency key (which my college kid would not know how to do in time to return to school, so I'd have to do it). The scratch? Eh. It happens. She can try to buff it out before she leaves.

What's more important is that they are contrite and promise to be more careful with the family possessions next time. It's how young adults learn, OP.

Idk if they do. It is a LOT of money and the locksmiths we called cannot do it in time bc it’s a fob they must order. Dd was very contrite but tbh ds not as much .

So how is your son planning on going to his college? He needs to have a plan.

(When I meant contrite, I didn't only mean in words, but inwardly. I know how my kids feel about things, even when they pretend otherwise. Sometimes it's a protective mechanism to act cool when you're mortified inside.)