At what point do you punish your adhd kid?

[Anonymous]

Time blindness causes them to miss the bus- do you make them walk? School is a mile away - kid is a teenager. Driving them makes me half hour late.

Or they say they didn't get a Christmas present that you know you bought them and put in their stocking. How do you make them take accountability for that?

I'm just imagining them telling their boss they never got an assignment their boss gave them. Or missing deadlines. At times, I am totally out of patience and don't know how I will survive the next 3 to 7 years.

[Anonymous]

Natural consequences are not punishment, and they are your most effective teaching method. Walking a mile to school is excellent, it will do them good.

I would come down on the lying pretty hard though.

[Anonymous]

Age?

[Anonymous]

Post on Special Needs forum. Natural Consequences approach doesn’t fit with ADHD brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Post on Special Needs forum. Natural Consequences approach doesn’t fit with ADHD brain.

Oops, I thought this was that forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age?

14

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Natural consequences are not punishment, and they are your most effective teaching method. Walking a mile to school is excellent, it will do them good.

+1
They miss the bus? They walk.
They lost a gift? They don't have that thing.
Those aren't punishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Natural consequences are not punishment, and they are your most effective teaching method. Walking a mile to school is excellent, it will do them good.

I would come down on the lying pretty hard though.

Op here. I hate lying more than anything else in the world. Sometimes he impulsively lies not to get in trouble, but sometimes he doesn't remember. He once said he had the memory of a goldfish. When I said that back to him a few weeks later, he said he never said that. It's pure torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Post on Special Needs forum. Natural Consequences approach doesn’t fit with ADHD brain.

Eyeroll. Yes it does. What is your genius plan for when this kid becomes an adult with "ADHD brain"? Just tell their boss consequences don't fit?

But more importantly, a mile is a reasonable distance for a teenager to walk for any reason or just as part of the daily routine. It isn't harmful, it's beneficial to them. So there's no reason for OP to be late to work to spare her kid this healthy walk.

[Anonymous]

Your question shows you don’t understand time BLINDNESS and ADHD.

You need to teach him how to work around the blindness. Get a clock that will announce time to leave

Get support. Punishment doesn’t work in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Your kid has a bus when school is just a mile away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your question shows you don’t understand time BLINDNESS and ADHD.

You need to teach him how to work around the blindness. Get a clock that will announce time to leave

Get support. Punishment doesn’t work in this situation.

You don't think we have been doing that for years? He has a waterproof clock in the shower, alarms on his phone, I go in and wake him up. I've told him the amount of time he has allotted in the morning is inadequate. He's also 14 so I can't physically force him to get up earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid has a bus when school is just a mile away?

It's just over a mile walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your question shows you don’t understand time BLINDNESS and ADHD.

You need to teach him how to work around the blindness. Get a clock that will announce time to leave

Get support. Punishment doesn’t work in this situation.

It's not a punishment! It's just normal life. Walking a mile to school is a normal thing to do.

I do understand time blindness and ADHD, and I will tell you that with my own children, they had no motivation to utilize the workarounds until they experienced the natural consequences of choosing not to.

[Anonymous]

Having a backup plan of walking to school *is* a workaround for time blindness.