Former stepfather keeps contacting me and asking about my mother—need advice!

[Anonymous]

My mom has been happily remarried for 14 years now, and her last marriage has been really positive. Before that, she had a marriage from when I was 17 until I was 25. My former stepfather was in my life from ages 9 to 14.

The problem is that he still finds ways to contact me. The biggest issue? He keeps asking for my mom’s phone number or where she lives. I’ve told him repeatedly that she doesn’t want contact and that I’m not giving out any information, but he keeps pushing.

It’s not just that—he also comments on my decisions and gives unsolicited advice about my life, like he still thinks he has a say in what I do. He’s even gone so far as to contact family and friends about us, trying to get information or updates. I’ve blocked him multiple times, but somehow he keeps finding new ways to reach me, phone calls, emails, but mainly texts.

It’s exhausting and honestly feels manipulative, like he’s trying to control me or use me to get to my mom. My mom has made it very clear she doesn’t want contact anymore, which I fully respect, but I also need to set firm boundaries.

Has anyone else dealt with a former stepparent who keeps overstepping like this, even reaching out to other people? How do you handle it without escalating drama or making things worse?

[Anonymous]

If he is calling your cell phone just block his number.

[Anonymous]

Why aren’t you following your mother’s example? Stop engaging with him. BLOCK HIS NUMBER. Or are you someone who revels in drama?

[Anonymous]

Why are you responding to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why aren’t you following your mother’s example? Stop engaging with him. BLOCK HIS NUMBER. Or are you someone who revels in drama?

I’ve already blocked it multiple times. He used different numbers, and contacts me on elsewhere online, etc. He’s also found my husbands number and contacted him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is calling your cell phone just block his number.

OP says they've blocked multiple times.

I'm sorry, OP. When he texts or calls don't even respond with a "no." Just block and delete. Make sure friends and relatives do the same.

I wonder if it's possible under these circumstances to get a restraining order?

[Anonymous]

What does he want?

[Anonymous]

do you want a relationship with him? or would you rather he have no role in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do you want a relationship with him? or would you rather he have no role in your life?

I would rather he have no role in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is calling your cell phone just block his number.

OP says they've blocked multiple times.

I'm sorry, OP. When he texts or calls don't even respond with a "no." Just block and delete. Make sure friends and relatives do the same.

I wonder if it's possible under these circumstances to get a restraining order?

Maybe. My mother has a restraining order, due to him for a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is calling your cell phone just block his number.

OP says they've blocked multiple times.

I'm sorry, OP. When he texts or calls don't even respond with a "no." Just block and delete. Make sure friends and relatives do the same.

I wonder if it's possible under these circumstances to get a restraining order?

Maybe. My mother has a restraining order, due to him for a year.

*had a restraining order, not has

[Anonymous]

Tell him to F off! You are being too nice and polite. This is weird and creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to F off! You are being too nice and polite. This is weird and creepy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Obviously contact police and also get a restraining order

[Anonymous]

You do your very best to block him everywhere you can and you offer him no grace since he has crossed the line from reasonable behavior.