Your experience handling teen medication refusal for ADHD

[Anonymous]

I am really struggling with our teen right now, moderate ADHD, combined type.

He refuses to take his ADHD medication because he believes it will affect his growth. Right now he’s very focused on getting big and strong like bodybuilders. He used to manage okay in school without the medication, but lately his grades are slipping and he has a lot of missing assignments.

At home he can’t seem to sit down and study, and almost every conversation about school turns into an argument. When we tried tying medication to privileges, he got very angry and even threw away the whole bottle.

We’re in family therapy, but he’s very resistant. Gentle talks and watching educational videos about meds did not help… His prescription is 10mg Ritalin but I am not able to communicate through his mind that the risk is negligible compared to benefits and impact…He also seems worried that kids at school will make fun of him if they find out he takes medication.

Things at home feel tense all the time, and it’s been hard to deal with. Weekends are the hardest and I’m probably aging by a year every weekend.

Just wondering if you’ve ever dealt with anything like this or have any advice. My plan right now is to keep talking to him gently about importance of some assistance and looking at the medication as a tool to help just like glasses help people with poor vision or hearing aids help people with poor hearing. It’s just a tool… and it can drop off with time…

[Anonymous]

He is 15, freshman.

[Anonymous]

You have to respect his decision. Work with him on other ways to manage his school work.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. Needs to be his decision.

[Anonymous]

Take the power struggle out of it

[Anonymous]

Does he see a psychiatrist for the medication? Having the doctor discuss pros and cons of medication might be helpful. Is the medication effective for him? Maybe it’s time to try other options? A good psychiatrist might help him navigate this. My teen DD was more willing to listen to the psych than me (along with adjusting her medication) and that helped a lot to get her on track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he see a psychiatrist for the medication? Having the doctor discuss pros and cons of medication might be helpful. Is the medication effective for him? Maybe it’s time to try other options? A good psychiatrist might help him navigate this. My teen DD was more willing to listen to the psych than me (along with adjusting her medication) and that helped a lot to get her on track.

This has been our experience too. The more you want something, the more the kid will push back. But the psychiatrist is a neutral authority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to respect his decision. Work with him on other ways to manage his school work.

Wrong.

Taking meds is a non-negotiable. Period, the end.


If he’s concerned about growth be sure he knows it’s due to less eating and nothing else. He should bulk up on protein, fruits and veg and take a multivitamin

[Anonymous]

I’m PP and should add my son is 15 as well. He used to resist more, but doesn’t now. We have held the line and not budged. We said we will continue to revisit over time, but his brain had less dopamine than other brains and he needs it especially now.

Kids who are not medicated with ADHD are more likely to commit self harm, get in came accidents and generally make poorer decisions. The teens years are especially risky. They are impulsive and 2-3 years behind in maturity. It’s real, so again in our house, meds are an on-going discussion with us, him and the Psych but what ever is prescribed at the time is taken. Not up for negotiation

[Anonymous]

He need to buy in to his treatment. Let him lead the discussion on meds and his concerns with his doctor. There are many non-stimulant options that don’t impact growth he could try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to respect his decision. Work with him on other ways to manage his school work.

Wrong.

Taking meds is a non-negotiable. Period, the end.


If he’s concerned about growth be sure he knows it’s due to less eating and nothing else. He should bulk up on protein, fruits and veg and take a multivitamin

Lol good luck with that. He is a teenager not a baby - you cannot and should not force it - particularly since this is not a life & death situation (or even impacting his health, per se). I suppose a really abusive or authoritarian parent could force it, but to what end? You are going to wreck your relationship with your child, and also wreck your child's relationship to psychiatry/psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m PP and should add my son is 15 as well. He used to resist more, but doesn’t now. We have held the line and not budged. We said we will continue to revisit over time, but his brain had less dopamine than other brains and he needs it especially now.

Kids who are not medicated with ADHD are more likely to commit self harm, get in came accidents and generally make poorer decisions. The teens years are especially risky. They are impulsive and 2-3 years behind in maturity. It’s real, so again in our house, meds are an on-going discussion with us, him and the Psych but what ever is prescribed at the time is taken. Not up for negotiation

But teens who are forced to take medication without respecting their concerns are more likely to stop taking it as soon as they turn 18/live independently. The long game matters here too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m PP and should add my son is 15 as well. He used to resist more, but doesn’t now. We have held the line and not budged. We said we will continue to revisit over time, but his brain had less dopamine than other brains and he needs it especially now.

Kids who are not medicated with ADHD are more likely to commit self harm, get in came accidents and generally make poorer decisions. The teens years are especially risky. They are impulsive and 2-3 years behind in maturity. It’s real, so again in our house, meds are an on-going discussion with us, him and the Psych but what ever is prescribed at the time is taken. Not up for negotiation

wow, parent of the year. using misinformation and scare tactics to force your child to take a medication that isn't actually required for their immediate health. honestly reading this made me want to vomit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m PP and should add my son is 15 as well. He used to resist more, but doesn’t now. We have held the line and not budged. We said we will continue to revisit over time, but his brain had less dopamine than other brains and he needs it especially now.

Kids who are not medicated with ADHD are more likely to commit self harm, get in came accidents and generally make poorer decisions. The teens years are especially risky. They are impulsive and 2-3 years behind in maturity. It’s real, so again in our house, meds are an on-going discussion with us, him and the Psych but what ever is prescribed at the time is taken. Not up for negotiation

But teens who are forced to take medication without respecting their concerns are more likely to stop taking it as soon as they turn 18/live independently. The long game matters here too.

And PP steamrolling the child means that the child's self-advocacy skills will be stunted as well. It's one thing if your child just whines a bit and you say "nope, gotta take this medicine." Quite another if a child voices a strong and well-founded reason not to take the medication (growth). Maybe the benefits are greater than the risks, but at a certain point, it is the child's own body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m PP and should add my son is 15 as well. He used to resist more, but doesn’t now. We have held the line and not budged. We said we will continue to revisit over time, but his brain had less dopamine than other brains and he needs it especially now.

Kids who are not medicated with ADHD are more likely to commit self harm, get in came accidents and generally make poorer decisions. The teens years are especially risky. They are impulsive and 2-3 years behind in maturity. It’s real, so again in our house, meds are an on-going discussion with us, him and the Psych but what ever is prescribed at the time is taken. Not up for negotiation

Your reasoning is fear driven and damaging your child. "He used to resist, but doesn't now." Sounds like you broke him.