Colleague who has crush on me sending me lots of work

[Anonymous]

A guy I work with who is obviously smitten with me (huge smile every time he sees me, always tries to sit next to me, stares at me constantly, tells me to “call him anytime”, etc…) is giving me extra work to do. He’s not even my boss! When he has a project for his staff, he’ll copy me on the email. We’re not even on the same team! Our respective teams have projects in common but we are in two different departments.

What in the world is going on?

[Anonymous]

So not commission based, just extra unpaid work for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So not commission based, just extra unpaid work for you?

He will give his subordinates tasks to do and copy me on the emails. As if expecting me to do the work as well. I help if I have time but often I’m busy with my own projects.

[Anonymous]

Why is it extra work if he's just copying you on emails? Is he assigning you work or just adding you to unnecessary emails?

[Anonymous]

Do you think he genuinely likes you and doesn't realize that by trying to interact more, he's giving you extra work; or do you think he's deliberately trying to charm his way into getting free labor? Does he do this to other people?

[Anonymous]

He emails his subordinates and me, saying “can you guys work on such and such.”

I help when I can, but if I’m busy with my own work, I ignore it!….he’s not my boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So not commission based, just extra unpaid work for you?

He will give his subordinates tasks to do and copy me on the emails. As if expecting me to do the work as well. I help if I have time but often I’m busy with my own projects.

So I see three possibilities:

-He has a crush on you, and this is a misguided way of getting to spend time with you, or perhaps impress you with how he manages his own team.
-He doesn't have a crush on you, but is just flirting with you so you'll volunteer to do the work.
-He isn't flirting, but is smiling at you and trying to sit by you because he's heard you're going to be joining his team and trying to include you, but no one told you yet.

I might casually mention to my boss "hey, I'm not supposed to work on anything from Team X, right?"

[Anonymous]

OP, do either of you wear hats in the office or on Zoom calls? Very interested to hear your answer.

[Anonymous]

He somehow added you to jos team group email list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do either of you wear hats in the office or on Zoom calls? Very interested to hear your answer.

No hats!

[Anonymous]

I would just forward the email to my boss and say that I’ve been getting these requests and has your boss forgotten to mention that you’re changing teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just forward the email to my boss and say that I’ve been getting these requests and has your boss forgotten to mention that you’re changing teams.

lol, I guess this is the answer. But I like the guy and don’t to antagonize him either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just forward the email to my boss and say that I’ve been getting these requests and has your boss forgotten to mention that you’re changing teams.

lol, I guess this is the answer. But I like the guy and don’t to antagonize him either.

Don’t want to antagonize him. OP.

[Anonymous]

Don't assume he has a huge crush on you. He might just be trying to be super friendly or kiss up so you do his extra work for him. Women do this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't assume he has a huge crush on you. He might just be trying to be super friendly or kiss up so you do his extra work for him. Women do this all the time.

Hmm, interesting. Ok.