Kids not picky at all but worried about overdoing it

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids, my daughter in particular love to eat and try everything easily, love going out to eat, and always clear their plates and ask for seconds. Both my kids are very tall, like 99th percentile and thin for their ages and very high energy. For reference I’m a 5’11 175 lb woman and a size 8 and also very athletic but my family has a lot of binge eating and bad relationships with food amongst women especially.

We eat pretty clean and aren’t snackers at all and that’s because I personally can take or leave snacks and prefer meal food but I’m already getting comments about how my kids will eat multiple bowls of chili, pieces of salmon, two whole sweet potato’s at meals. Is there anything I should be talking to my 8 year old daughter about in regards to body image or health yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of my kids, my daughter in particular love to eat and try everything easily, love going out to eat, and always clear their plates and ask for seconds. Both my kids are very tall, like 99th percentile and thin for their ages and very high energy. For reference I’m a 5’11 175 lb woman and a size 8 and also very athletic but my family has a lot of binge eating and bad relationships with food amongst women especially.

We eat pretty clean and aren’t snackers at all and that’s because I personally can take or leave snacks and prefer meal food but I’m already getting comments about how my kids will eat multiple bowls of chili, pieces of salmon, two whole sweet potato’s at meals. Is there anything I should be talking to my 8 year old daughter about in regards to body image or health yet?

NO!

[Anonymous]

Nope. Let her eat good food.

[Anonymous]

I was a tall skinny girl who could eat absolutely everything well into my teens. I was a swimmer then too. I'm pushing 40, I still work out a lot, still can put food away, and am still thin. I got stressed out and didn't eat as much in college and got underweight and sick. Some metabolisms are just built that way.

[Anonymous]

Nope, just make sure they’re listening to their hunger and thirst cues. Make sure they’re hydrated.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like things are going well. There is research that says that efforts to change portion size, whether it's to increase it or decrease it, increase the likelihood that kids will struggle with eating in adulthood. So, I would continue to offer a variety of healthy foods at meals and let the kids choose which and how much to eat.

The one thing I notice in your post is that it seems as though you say that your kids don't eat snack, because you don't like snacks. That seems as though you made that choice for your kids based on your body, not on theirs. I do wonder if one of the reasons why they eat so much at meals, is because they are coming to the table very hungry. Coming to the table very hungry can lead to kids overeating. Having one snack between lunch and dinner, eaten sitting down at the table, with the kid choosing what and how much to eat within choices you provide might help address that. It might also give her an opportunity to learn how to prepare simple foods, and exercise choice.

[Anonymous]

Who is making these comments? Shame on them.

[Anonymous]

No you definitely should not and I actually think you should talk to someone about your own relationship with food because it is going to impact her negatively.

The language you use around food indicates to me that you have a lot of shame and judgment around eating, the kinds of foods you eat, and like the morality of food. Talking about "we eat clean" is a red flag for me in particular. I know what you mean but that phrasing is loaded with morality and classism that your DD is going to internalize.

[Anonymous]

Everyone’s idea of a portion is different. I can’t imagine not ever snacking. In school lunch can be 11 am or noon and then dinner could be 6 pm. Plus going to the movies, parties, events, food is involved in our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No you definitely should not and I actually think you should talk to someone about your own relationship with food because it is going to impact her negatively.

The language you use around food indicates to me that you have a lot of shame and judgment around eating, the kinds of foods you eat, and like the morality of food. Talking about "we eat clean" is a red flag for me in particular. I know what you mean but that phrasing is loaded with morality and classism that your DD is going to internalize.

I didn’t get from OP that she had shame around eating. I think that eating clean is subjective but not loaded with morality.

Your response was strange to me, and I’m far from an almond mom.

[Anonymous]

It depends OP. Is either child overweight?

If they aren’t overweight, then they are burning what they eat and carry on. Do nothing. But if they see eating very large portions AND are overweight, then that means they are eating more than their body needs. In this case, yes, gently offer some portion guidance. Some people just want to eat more than they need- it’s how they are wired.

[Anonymous]

So weird

[Anonymous]

Yes you should definitely be shaming your 8 year old about eating too much sweet potato so you can get her started on a lifetime of body issues. You are closing to missing the window of opportunity for effective creation of an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

You are the problem OP so gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you definitely should not and I actually think you should talk to someone about your own relationship with food because it is going to impact her negatively.

The language you use around food indicates to me that you have a lot of shame and judgment around eating, the kinds of foods you eat, and like the morality of food. Talking about "we eat clean" is a red flag for me in particular. I know what you mean but that phrasing is loaded with morality and classism that your DD is going to internalize.

I didn’t get from OP that she had shame around eating. I think that eating clean is subjective but not loaded with morality.

Your response was strange to me, and I’m far from an almond mom.

The choice of the word "clean" is inherently moralistic because it implies that there are "dirty" foods. The subjective nature of the word "clean" is precisely the problem and not a message you want to send to young kids who may not understand your nuanced meaning, and can lead to disordered thinking.

This is why registered dietitians who specialize in kids or eating disorders will often suggest avoiding language that is binary when talking about food. Clean/dirty is an obvious one, but also avoiding terms like "good" and "bad".

When we talk about food choices in our family, we talk specifically about what the food gives us. So we'll encourage our kids to make sure they have a protein and a fruit or veggie in every meal, because protein helps us get and stay strong and fruits and veggies have vitamins that can keep us from getting sick and help us feel more energetic. Sugar isn't "bad" but it doesn't help our bodies with anything other than a short-term energy boost. That doesn't mean "no sugar" but it means that we try to focus on getting more of other things. We also talk about how certain foods are designed to make us want to eat more, but how these foods often don't make us feel good later on, so we try to reserve processed snack foods as an occasional treat in a specific situation (at the movies, on a road trip) and not an everyday item. We talk about needing fat in our diet, and how fats in foods help us feel full and can be especially helpful for growing kids. So no good or bad, no clean or dirty.

OP does have red flags in her post because she's worrying about the eating habits of what appear to be healthy kids, just because they have big appetites -- there is no indication these kids have any health or weight issues. And it's especially concerning that she's fixated primarily on her DD, out of fear linked to her own body and eating issues. Throw in a comment about "clean eating" and yes, there is disordered thinking at play here.