Reply to Kids not picky at all but worried about overdoing it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No you definitely should not and I actually think you should talk to someone about your own relationship with food because it is going to impact her negatively.

The language you use around food indicates to me that you have a lot of shame and judgment around eating, the kinds of foods you eat, and like the morality of food. Talking about "we eat clean" is a red flag for me in particular. I know what you mean but that phrasing is loaded with morality and classism that your DD is going to internalize.[/quote]

I didn’t get from OP that she had shame around eating. I think that eating clean is subjective but not loaded with morality.

Your response was strange to me, and I’m far from an almond mom. [/quote]

The choice of the word "clean" is inherently moralistic because it implies that there are "dirty" foods. The subjective nature of the word "clean" is precisely the problem and not a message you want to send to young kids who may not understand your nuanced meaning, and can lead to disordered thinking.

This is why registered dietitians who specialize in kids or eating disorders will often suggest avoiding language that is binary when talking about food. Clean/dirty is an obvious one, but also avoiding terms like "good" and "bad".

When we talk about food choices in our family, we talk specifically about what the food gives us. So we'll encourage our kids to make sure they have a protein and a fruit or veggie in every meal, because protein helps us get and stay strong and fruits and veggies have vitamins that can keep us from getting sick and help us feel more energetic. Sugar isn't "bad" but it doesn't help our bodies with anything other than a short-term energy boost. That doesn't mean "no sugar" but it means that we try to focus on getting more of other things. We also talk about how certain foods are designed to make us want to eat more, but how these foods often don't make us feel good later on, so we try to reserve processed snack foods as an occasional treat in a specific situation (at the movies, on a road trip) and not an everyday item. We talk about needing fat in our diet, and how fats in foods help us feel full and can be especially helpful for growing kids. So no good or bad, no clean or dirty.

OP does have red flags in her post because she's worrying about the eating habits of what appear to be healthy kids, just because they have big appetites -- there is no indication these kids have any health or weight issues. And it's especially concerning that she's fixated primarily on her DD, out of fear linked to her own body and eating issues. Throw in a comment about "clean eating" and yes, there is disordered thinking at play here.[/quote]

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