Status anxiety among New York parents? Am I just seeing more of it now?
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Anonymous
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Or has it always been this extreme?
Very few people i know from NYC seem to want their dc to go into helping professions or artistic ones. It’s all finance majors and $ jobs. And everyone seems intent on keeping up with the Jones. I used to enjoy NYC bc it had less of that suburban striver vibe, and people have interesting jobs. But it seems to have changed, or maybe it’s just my world. |
Anonymous
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It's not status anxiety. It's survival anxiety. It's always been there. With age, people understand better how money can change one's life and that of one's descendants, so I think it's a typical thing to observe as one gets older.
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Anonymous
No, I know both older and younger people, and people who aren’t from NYC. I think it’s partially my chosen professional peer group. And it’s not everyone but more than I’d like to see. |
Anonymous
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It's always been there.
People who want to work on Wall Street are no different now than in the 1980s when I started college. |
Anonymous
Well then, you answered your own question. |
Anonymous
Maybe you’re missing my point. Yes, there are always going to be ‘people who want to work on Wall Street’ (although that is an anachronistic way of referring to what I’m saying). But I’m pointing out that it seems to be the rule rather than the exception now. At least among my cohort. |
Anonymous
Are the ‘work on Wall Street’ poster? What an odd take using odd language… |
Anonymous
| ^ are YOU |
Anonymous
There are a lot of ways to survive other than investment banking. |
Anonymous
| Honestly, given the current disruptions in tech / finance your kid probably has a more secure future with an arts / humanities focus at this point. |
Anonymous
Over my lifetime, Manhattan real estate has somewhat disproportionately appreciated. Similar to Bethesda, Silicon Valley, and other places where people command extremely high salaries. Because there were real problems in NYC the 1970s and 1980s. But those problems got under control. I've seen how certain neighborhoods have gentrified over the decades since I started visiting. DC has also gentrified tremendously over the past 30 years. I don't see fewer people in my circles aspiring to "helper jobs". There never were that many. My thought is that the reason why people aren't talking about helper jobs now is because that just won't allow you to remain a Manhattanite with a decent standard of living. My friend who lives in Silicon Valley tells me that most of the "community helper" types in her area (teachers, etc.) have inherited their homes. Otherwise they could never have bought in. |
Anonymous
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Chasing status is a lot more competitive now too, further heightening anxiety.
Apartments cost more. Ivy League acceptance rates are trending towards low single digit percentage points. Tons of bragging on social media about how your life is perfect. These parents are taking the same ambition that let them make law firm partner and applying it to parenting and social lives. |
Anonymous
This is why the pressure is so high. I hardly use social media and so felt very little pressure. However, I have noticed that my friends who say they are active on SM will do anything to get that prestige. It’s all brag, brag, brag with some people. |
Anonymous
| It’s always been there. I grew up on the UES in the 70s/80s. My mom, who also grew up there, would say that people come to NYC to “make it” and therefore were always striving to be richer and better than others. |
Anonymous
| It will not be easy for our city-raised children to live comfortably in their hometown as adults without high-salary jobs, parental help, or both. My DD is a college senior, and I suspect this is what drives many of her NYC friends who are going into finance careers. |