sexy but not thirsty cocktail dress

[Anonymous]

Our school is having its gala and it's cocktail attire. I literally own no cocktail dresses (I recently gave away my only one that i never really liked). I'd like one that makes me look attractive/hot but not desperate - it will be my go to dress for a few years for weddings etc. I don't need it to be versatile for business occasions, it can be a purely party dress. At the last gala a couple years ago, it was a wide range but some were dressed to impress (more beautiful / unique dresses versus $$$$ labels necessarily) and I'd like to lean towards that this time around. A few things about me:

- i'm petite - 5'2, no boobs to speak up, thin, narrow shoulders
- early 40s
- light coloring so black can look harsh on me at times
- pastel / muted colors can wash me out

I've looked at every store I can think of (nordstrom, other department stores, tuckernuck, etc). and am turning up nothing i love in my size so i'm looking for suggestions of particular dresses as opposed to stores. The only one i've been excited about is the dress below and it's out of stock in my size

[Anonymous]

trying again with image

[img]https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg[img]

https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg

[Anonymous]

Rent the Runway.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried Reformation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:trying again with image

[img]https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg[img]

https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg

I like this, but I don’t think it’s as versatile as you suggest you’re looking for. Also reads a little too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried Reformation?

Yes i've looked there. i hardly ever go to cocktail events though (the last one was the same gala 3 years ago) so i could just be off in what looks good and is in right now. Any particular dresses you love or would think would look great based on my description are great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:trying again with image

[img]https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg[img]

https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg

I like this, but I don’t think it’s as versatile as you suggest you’re looking for. Also reads a little too young.

Its out of stock anyways - I was just sharing it as something i did like in the hundreds of dresses i've flipped through. The main thing i liked about it is the length, midi looks terrible on my height and muscular calves but mini feels too young

[Anonymous]

I also have a small chest and slim, narrow shoulder. My go to when I want to look great but not too sexy is high halter neckline, or if I don't want a true halter, a cutaway neckline.

Nice shoulders are sexy and a dress that exposes some back is also sexy, but when it has a high neckline and no cleavage, and is knee length or longer, it won't look thirsty. I also think this is one of a handful of styles that looks genuinely better on someone with a small chest, because it can be hard to fit for someone with bigger boobs.

Like these:

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/hybrid/bhldn-ruby-twist-halter-satin-gown12

https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/rails-pia-dress/8611319

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/sme47_similar_styles/featured

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the most efficient thing is to sig up for a month of Rent the Runway or Nuuly. It's about $100 and you can rent 6 items. It usually takes a good hour of looking through the site but they have a great selection of cocktail dresses and you can usually find a few things you really like. My one piece of advice is read the reviews carefully--you can filter them for people with similar heights/weights to get a better idea of what will work. This is the main way I find formal wear now!

[Anonymous]

I’d go with navy.

https://www.katespadeoutlet.com/products/tweed-dress/KN074-403.html?KSNY=true&ogmap=PLA%7CRTN%7CGOOG%7CSTND%7Cm%7CSITEWIDE%7CSurprise%7CKS_OTL_Google_PLA_Signal_NA_Generic_National_PMax_NA_BAU_Catchall%7CSitewide_Regular_Core_NA%7C%7C22249683588%7C%7CUS&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=KS_OTL_Google_PLA_Signal_NA_Generic_National_PMAX_NA_BAU_Catchall&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22256270384&gbraid=0AAAAADJUeEVewMx7JmhiRX5VXQM0-EBeI

https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-publy-shift-dress-0400017258878.html?dwvar_0400017258878_size=40+%284%29&dwvar_0400017258878_color=BLU+NOTTE&site_refer=CSE_GGLPLA%3AWomens_Dresses%3AChiara+Boni+La+Petite+Robe&country=US¤cy=USD&CSE_CID=SAKS_G_PLA_High+Inventory_Priority%3ASAKS_G_PLA_High+Inventory_Priority&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23543907067&gbraid=0AAAAADO6JtQeGPAyfMbmkw0zYtjqgiiGw

[Anonymous]

Alice and Olivia - since you’re short the mini dresses will be a normal length https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/alice-and-olivia-wynell-floral-sleeveless-minidress/8497028?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=001

[Anonymous]

I'm your age and dress "young" for DC (which everywhere else means "normal", but apparently people here dress like staid matrons) and I get lots of compliments on my clothing choices.

You need to find a color that compliments your coloring! What color are your veins in your inner wrists? Blue? You need to pick a cool color. Green? You need a warm color. In between? You can pick whatever. If pale colors wash you out, select jewel tones.

Something to think about, for a thin torso, is to buy separates and wear a bodysuit on top, which will highlight your slenderness and not reveal too much even if there's a deep V-neck, because the bodysuit keeps everything in place. They make really fun ones, with balloon sleeves, or a little bit of sparkle. And pair with a mini skirt or long skirt, or whatever fancy embroidered pants you like. I wore such a combo at a cocktail party recently and it was just the right balance of "hot" but not too sexy. I have a slender frame and my cleavage was deeper than what I usually wear, but chest was suggested rather than revealed (and if you bend down, nothing gapes in a bodysuit). It's a school event, after all. You don't want to be vulgar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your age and dress "young" for DC (which everywhere else means "normal", but apparently people here dress like staid matrons) and I get lots of compliments on my clothing choices.

You need to find a color that compliments your coloring! What color are your veins in your inner wrists? Blue? You need to pick a cool color. Green? You need a warm color. In between? You can pick whatever. If pale colors wash you out, select jewel tones.

Something to think about, for a thin torso, is to buy separates and wear a bodysuit on top, which will highlight your slenderness and not reveal too much even if there's a deep V-neck, because the bodysuit keeps everything in place. They make really fun ones, with balloon sleeves, or a little bit of sparkle. And pair with a mini skirt or long skirt, or whatever fancy embroidered pants you like. I wore such a combo at a cocktail party recently and it was just the right balance of "hot" but not too sexy. I have a slender frame and my cleavage was deeper than what I usually wear, but chest was suggested rather than revealed (and if you bend down, nothing gapes in a bodysuit). It's a school event, after all. You don't want to be vulgar.

I'd love to see an example of this or even exactly what you wore if you're able!

[Anonymous]

https://us.sandro-paris.com/en/p/v-neck-maxi-dress/SFPRO04529_34.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:trying again with image

[img]https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg[img]

https://is4.revolveassets.com/images/p4/n/z/AMAN-WD1930_V1.jpg

Are you an idiot?