S/O victim-blaming - why?

[Anonymous]

The Epstein files and the general nastiness of this site have got me thinking about the prevalence of victim-blaming as an embedded component of our culture. What is the deal? Why??

[Anonymous]

Because if we can't see the horrible things, they are not really happening. We can go off and see rainbows and sunshine in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Because people desperately want to believe that nothing bad can happen to them.

[Anonymous]

The belief that violence is random is too much for some people to handle, so they tell themselves that there are rules they can follow that will keep them safe. Then they start associating that safety with virtue ("I've never been attacked so I'm doing everything right so that means I'm a better person") and eventually that gets twisted into thinking victims are bad.

[Anonymous]

IDK but it's crazy how many Americans excuse pedophilia by men -- the Catholic church, colleges, Epstein, and on.

When it comes to women teachers/admin sleeping with students, they're always thrown in jail. There were two cases last week.

[Anonymous]

As a survivor of sexual assault and a person with a lot of health issues, I see the same kind of victim-blaming put on sexual assault victims as those with serious illnesses. It all comes down to people desperately trying to feel a sense of control over their lives even it means saying horrible things to suffering friends and family that amounts to telling the victim/sick person that they deserved it.

[Anonymous]

I've been thinking alot about this. Why aren't we doing more to support the Epstein victims? It seems like they are given a platform every so often (see: Capitol Hill presser) but then they disappear again. Why aren't they bringing civil suits against these power players? Can some lawyer explain this to me?

[Anonymous]

People can’t admit they were wrong.

People don’t want to change the way they operate.

[Anonymous]

All of the above.

And also victim-blaming reinforces existing power structures, and most people will always seek to align themselves with the most powerful person. Even, it turns out, if that person is a known pedophile. Especially if he is?

If you don't see these dynamics happening at a smaller scale in your own life, you are likely not looking very hard.

[Anonymous]

Just look at covid in 2020-22. The dead were old, vulnerable, had PREEXISTING CONDITIONS. Not normal Amrricuns just wantin to go het tattooed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IDK but it's crazy how many Americans excuse pedophilia by men -- the Catholic church, colleges, Epstein, and on.

When it comes to women teachers/admin sleeping with students, they're always thrown in jail. There were two cases last week.

What? That is entirely untrue and you just cherry-picked some random examples. I'm sure you could have found plenty of men thrown in jail last week as well (sadly).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IDK but it's crazy how many Americans excuse pedophilia by men -- the Catholic church, colleges, Epstein, and on.

When it comes to women teachers/admin sleeping with students, they're always thrown in jail. There were two cases last week.

What? That is entirely untrue and you just cherry-picked some random examples. I'm sure you could have found plenty of men thrown in jail last week as well (sadly).

...and yet while there's no data on that, "Women in state prisons are more likely than men to be incarcerated for a drug or property offense. Twenty-six percent of women in prison have been convicted of a drug offense, compared to 12% of men in prison; 18% of incarcerated women have been convicted of a property crime, compared to 12% among incarcerated men."

https://www.sentencingproject.org/fact-sheet/incarcerated-women-and-girls/

But do you really want to claim that we're not fine with men's pedophilia rings in the US? There have been massive coverups in all those cases and lay people from all the communities who say "don't bother" or "it's not that bad" or "this will hurt our beloved institution."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IDK but it's crazy how many Americans excuse pedophilia by men -- the Catholic church, colleges, Epstein, and on.

When it comes to women teachers/admin sleeping with students, they're always thrown in jail. There were two cases last week.

What? That is entirely untrue and you just cherry-picked some random examples. I'm sure you could have found plenty of men thrown in jail last week as well (sadly).

...and yet while there's no data on that, "Women in state prisons are more likely than men to be incarcerated for a drug or property offense. Twenty-six percent of women in prison have been convicted of a drug offense, compared to 12% of men in prison; 18% of incarcerated women have been convicted of a property crime, compared to 12% among incarcerated men."

https://www.sentencingproject.org/fact-sheet/incarcerated-women-and-girls/

But do you really want to claim that we're not fine with men's pedophilia rings in the US? There have been massive coverups in all those cases and lay people from all the communities who say "don't bother" or "it's not that bad" or "this will hurt our beloved institution."

Men receive 63% longer sentences for similar crimes. So, yeah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the above.

And also victim-blaming reinforces existing power structures, and most people will always seek to align themselves with the most powerful person. Even, it turns out, if that person is a known pedophile. Especially if he is?

If you don't see these dynamics happening at a smaller scale in your own life, you are likely not looking very hard.

+1
People side with abusers because (1) they want to be on the side of the powerful, (2) they agree that some people matter more than others, and/or (3) they want to believe that nothing bad will happen to them, so they tell themselves a story where bad things only happen to people who deserve them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a survivor of sexual assault and a person with a lot of health issues, I see the same kind of victim-blaming put on sexual assault victims as those with serious illnesses. It all comes down to people desperately trying to feel a sense of control over their lives even it means saying horrible things to suffering friends and family that amounts to telling the victim/sick person that they deserved it.

True. My kid’s ADHD and autism is our fault, but also doesn’t exist and we’re indulging some spoiled behavior - BOTH OF THOSE AT THE SAME TIME!

🤣