High doses of adderall still dont help dh remember a single thing

[Anonymous]

He is unemployed and forgets everything. Now he has started lying about doing things he clearly forgot to do or never did. He never used to be like this. I am at a loss. We tried to separate for one week (unofficially, told the kids he needed to help his dad) and one of the kids started having anxiety attacks. I dont know how much longer I can live with someone who lies and can't be relied upon. Do I pay someone on upwork to be the executive functioning part of his brain? I am desperate.

[Anonymous]

Any possibility it’s early dementia?

[Anonymous]

Dementia screening, UTI, sleep apnea.

It's not ADHD

[Anonymous]

Or ms? My friends husband had ms and first sign was stuff like this

[Anonymous]

Not ADHD.

But you also sound like you have some issues with your kid, if you told them your dad was going to be gone for a week to help his dad, and your kid was having anxiety attacks. Why can't your kids be separated from their dad for perfectly normal reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not ADHD.

But you also sound like you have some issues with your kid, if you told them your dad was going to be gone for a week to help his dad, and your kid was having anxiety attacks. Why can't your kids be separated from their dad for perfectly normal reasons?

Their kid may be more aware of things than OP realizes. Part of the anxiety may be because they knew dad was gone for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

Zero chance there were no signs.
No, anxiety doesn't who up for those reasons in a healthy child.

[Anonymous]

1. Reduce or eliminate Adderall.
2. Check for illicit drug use or marijuana.
3. He sounds extremely anxious and ashamed, which is why he’s lying. He cannot manage with current expectations.
4. Sleep apnea is thought to be a significant contributor to many cases of “ADHD”. He needs thorough sleep apnea testing.
5. If anxiety and sleep are under control but memory problems persist, then you need to look for other medical conditions: early onset dementia, brain tumor, etc.
6. Your kid having a panic attack and your writing style indicate pervasive anxiety in the entire household. You need to reduce activities to the minimum you can handle on your own with the kids with equanimity while you figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of the adderall. And if he fights you on this ... you have even bigger problems than you thought you did.

I will say that I'd already be gone, but you have kids and that muddies things a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the adderall. And if he fights you on this ... you have even bigger problems than you thought you did.

I will say that I'd already be gone, but you have kids and that muddies things a lot.

You'd be gone without finding out if there is a medical Dx? Would you leave anyway if it turns out he has early onset dementia or some other disease?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is unemployed and forgets everything. Now he has started lying about doing things he clearly forgot to do or never did. He never used to be like this. I am at a loss. We tried to separate for one week (unofficially, told the kids he needed to help his dad) and one of the kids started having anxiety attacks. I dont know how much longer I can live with someone who lies and can't be relied upon. Do I pay someone on upwork to be the executive functioning part of his brain? I am desperate.

Why would a kid have an anxiety attack because their forgetful absent-minded dad is away for a week.

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD and in perimenopause my memory is an absolute disaster. I don’t know if men have this problem. But it could def be ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and in perimenopause my memory is an absolute disaster. I don’t know if men have this problem. But it could def be ADHD.

Hmmm - the OP expressed her issue in a very strange way. If the husband had ADHD, but before kids was able to function with a spouse in an apartment, for example, then moving into a larger house, the addition of several kids and perhaps more responsibilities at work, etc, might push him over the edge of not being able to function. Usually complaints about ADHD spouses parse all this, and express forgetfulness as a larger problem within organizational concerns.

But here OP complains specifically that her husband cannot remember anything anymore. Is that gross hyperbole? If not, the concern is a lot more concerning than just middle-aged family life impacting a pre-existing ADHD profile.

Her husband should consult their PCP, detail their problem, and insist on a full check-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and in perimenopause my memory is an absolute disaster. I don’t know if men have this problem. But it could def be ADHD.

Hmmm - the OP expressed her issue in a very strange way. If the husband had ADHD, but before kids was able to function with a spouse in an apartment, for example, then moving into a larger house, the addition of several kids and perhaps more responsibilities at work, etc, might push him over the edge of not being able to function. Usually complaints about ADHD spouses parse all this, and express forgetfulness as a larger problem within organizational concerns.

But here OP complains specifically that her husband cannot remember anything anymore. Is that gross hyperbole? If not, the concern is a lot more concerning than just middle-aged family life impacting a pre-existing ADHD profile.

Her husband should consult their PCP, detail their problem, and insist on a full check-up.

But then again, OP is not entirely credible. She went to the length of a trial separation and complained one kid had a panic attack. The whole story is weird.

[Anonymous]

How old is he?

You can get dementia in your 40's.

Could be a brain tumor etc or something else going on.