sister guilting me

[Anonymous]

everytime i make food for myself my sister always needs to know what im eating. She studies my plates and asks questions and guilts me into making her the same thing.
Just make your own food Jesus

I hang out with my family a lot (we’re adults) and its driving me crazy.

I understand people going no contact.

[Anonymous]

People can only TRY to guilt me. It’s never successful.

Anyways does she do dishes?

[Anonymous]

How does she know you are cooking? YOU TELL HER! Stop that. Instead, tell her you are cleaning out your closet.

[Anonymous]

because when we hang out shell come in to the kitchen

Drinks, food everything.
I know this sounds crazy but what happens is ill have to replicate what i just made for myself for her and then my own food turns cold

so rude

[Anonymous]

im in my twenties and hang out a lot with my family.
God willing I will move to a different city. Living alone is not enough.

A lot of my frustration comes from me feeling like i have to be w my family all the time.

And the hardest part is, outside people judge me for it. Coworkers belittle me for being like this when they dont know that im protecting my mothers feelings. Except whats happening is that IM the one who feels horrible and miserable for not living my own life. all so that she can be close to me.

Even though im an adult just talking about moving states makes my mom sad. But her own sister has 3 daughters that moved to 3 different countries.

im choosing peace which is why I will be moving away from my family while still having contact/ op

[Anonymous]

You just don’t set boundaries. Does your sister have hands? Let her make her own food. You’re choosing to make her food. That’s on you, not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because when we hang out shell come in to the kitchen

Drinks, food everything.
I know this sounds crazy but what happens is ill have to replicate what i just made for myself for her and then my own food turns cold

so rude

I don’t eat cold food. Continue eating your food once you’ve sat down. But how old is she and why isn’t she making her own food. Why don’t you all take turns cooking? Some families do that because it’s kinda rude to only make food for yourself. If she can’t reciprocate then you have your answer and you are free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:everytime i make food for myself my sister always needs to know what im eating. She studies my plates and asks questions and guilts me into making her the same thing.
Just make your own food Jesus

I hang out with my family a lot (we’re adults) and its driving me crazy.

I understand people going no contact.

I don’t think you do. It’s certainly not because of minor irritations like the one you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:everytime i make food for myself my sister always needs to know what im eating. She studies my plates and asks questions and guilts me into making her the same thing.
Just make your own food Jesus

I hang out with my family a lot (we’re adults) and its driving me crazy.

I understand people going no contact.

“No” is a complete sentence.

[Anonymous]

Ask your sister what she is planning to cook and if she could make some for you too. Offer to do the dishes.

[Anonymous]

When you & your sister are hanging out at your parents house, you just get up & go into your parents’ fridge & make something for just yourself?

In that situation, I’d ask my sister if she wants some too, & then you make it for both of you, & you can eat when hot. Usually it’s not much effort to make more of something at the same time. “Larla, I’m going to make some scrambled eggs, want some?”

My family always does this- if you’re making something/eating, you offer to everyone else in the vicinity. Actually it can be annoying, if you’re trying to lose weight (we’re Italian & everybody wants you to eat all the time, & also my mom & sisters are great cooks). It would be weird to me if my sister is in my parent’s living room & I get up and go in the kitchen & make something without saying a word to her.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure I understand. Like PP, I’m curious about the circumstances - I can’t see myself being with others an then only cooking for myself.

I see a few things that could help you:
If this “always” happens, expect it and simply make enough servings for anyone who is there. Worst case, you’ll have leftovers. Even better, like PP suggested, ask BEFORE you start how many people want to eat with you. In both of these cases you are no longer eating cold food.

Have you told your sister this bothers you? If so, what’s her response?

Moving to a separate state seems like just running away and avoidance of solving the actual issue at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because when we hang out shell come in to the kitchen

Drinks, food everything.
I know this sounds crazy but what happens is ill have to replicate what i just made for myself for her and then my own food turns cold

so rude

How hard is it to make two plates?

[Anonymous]

Does your sister live in the same house as you? You should have led with this piece of information at the start of your post.

[Anonymous]

Just say, “you are welcome to make your own”.

Next time, before you start making something, ask if she would like some too. Then invite her to make it with you, so she learns- if that is the issue.