How is this area for East Asian families?

[Anonymous]

I’m Korean and immigrated to the US in middle school. I lived in the Midwest where I got viciously bullied for being the only Asian kid. Then my family moved to SF where my school was almost 50% Asian and felt like I fit in for the first time. I moved to Arlington a year ago with my Korean husband for work and we are now expecting. I want to have at least 2 kids and was wondering how is this area for Asian families? I know it is much more diverse and accepting here than the Midwest, but it still doesn’t have as many Asians as SF. I’m just worried my kids will grow up being bullied or feeling like outsiders here. The experience I had was traumatizing and I don’t want my kids to go through the same so was wondering if I should move back to SF or NY.

[Anonymous]

Welcome, there are lots of East Asians here. My 12 year old hasn't experienced ANY racism, which frankly surprised me because I grew up here too, and it was super racist back then, and he's very aware of racism and microaggressions.

I'm 4th generation Asian-American, which I think is a little unusual for the East Coast. I do speak my heritage language, which has helped me stay connected to my ancestral roots.

Don't feel like you have to assimilate or hang out with only non-Asians. But also, don't feel like you have to only hang out with Asians. My child did feel that pressure to "pick a side" at school but that resolved itself. To him that was more about friendship dynamics than race.

There's less overt Asian racism is higher SES areas so be aware when you're picking schools. On the other hand, there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK.

[Anonymous]

It’s good, the Midwest has very few Asians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s good, the Midwest has very few Asians.

Meant this area is good for Asians, the Midwest not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome, there are lots of East Asians here. My 12 year old hasn't experienced ANY racism, which frankly surprised me because I grew up here too, and it was super racist back then, and he's very aware of racism and microaggressions.

I'm 4th generation Asian-American, which I think is a little unusual for the East Coast. I do speak my heritage language, which has helped me stay connected to my ancestral roots.

Don't feel like you have to assimilate or hang out with only non-Asians. But also, don't feel like you have to only hang out with Asians. My child did feel that pressure to "pick a side" at school but that resolved itself. To him that was more about friendship dynamics than race.

There's less overt Asian racism is higher SES areas so be aware when you're picking schools. On the other hand, there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK.

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight. That’s great to hear your son hasn’t experienced racism. Do you mind sharing which area you live in? I know some parts of NOVA has more Asians, like Woodson High in Fairfax is 25% Asian while Alexandria City High is 5% so the experience may be very different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome, there are lots of East Asians here. My 12 year old hasn't experienced ANY racism, which frankly surprised me because I grew up here too, and it was super racist back then, and he's very aware of racism and microaggressions.

I'm 4th generation Asian-American, which I think is a little unusual for the East Coast. I do speak my heritage language, which has helped me stay connected to my ancestral roots.

Don't feel like you have to assimilate or hang out with only non-Asians. But also, don't feel like you have to only hang out with Asians. My child did feel that pressure to "pick a side" at school but that resolved itself. To him that was more about friendship dynamics than race.

There's less overt Asian racism is higher SES areas so be aware when you're picking schools. On the other hand, there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK.

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight. That’s great to hear your son hasn’t experienced racism. Do you mind sharing which area you live in? I know some parts of NOVA has more Asians, like Woodson High in Fairfax is 25% Asian while Alexandria City High is 5% so the experience may be very different

We live in Chevy Chase, Maryland. We've always stayed in MD or DC due to VA being super southern at the turn of the century. But NOVA is liberal, not MAGA so you're good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome, there are lots of East Asians here. My 12 year old hasn't experienced ANY racism, which frankly surprised me because I grew up here too, and it was super racist back then, and he's very aware of racism and microaggressions.

I'm 4th generation Asian-American, which I think is a little unusual for the East Coast. I do speak my heritage language, which has helped me stay connected to my ancestral roots.

Don't feel like you have to assimilate or hang out with only non-Asians. But also, don't feel like you have to only hang out with Asians. My child did feel that pressure to "pick a side" at school but that resolved itself. To him that was more about friendship dynamics than race.

There's less overt Asian racism is higher SES areas so be aware when you're picking schools. On the other hand, there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK.

Are you sure he hasn't experienced any racism? My Wasian kids have, although Asian-on-Asian issues are probably more prevalent.

There are slurs or racist graffiti reported by the high school all the time, but I have the impression from my kid that they're not primarily regarding Asians.

This is not true in my kid's experience: "there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK." Parent things trickle down to students and there's plenty of this tension, although lots of the kids do support each other.

[Anonymous]

East Asians are the aristocracy of Rockville

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome, there are lots of East Asians here. My 12 year old hasn't experienced ANY racism, which frankly surprised me because I grew up here too, and it was super racist back then, and he's very aware of racism and microaggressions.

I'm 4th generation Asian-American, which I think is a little unusual for the East Coast. I do speak my heritage language, which has helped me stay connected to my ancestral roots.

Don't feel like you have to assimilate or hang out with only non-Asians. But also, don't feel like you have to only hang out with Asians. My child did feel that pressure to "pick a side" at school but that resolved itself. To him that was more about friendship dynamics than race.

There's less overt Asian racism is higher SES areas so be aware when you're picking schools. On the other hand, there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK.

Are you sure he hasn't experienced any racism? My Wasian kids have, although Asian-on-Asian issues are probably more prevalent.

There are slurs or racist graffiti reported by the high school all the time, but I have the impression from my kid that they're not primarily regarding Asians.

This is not true in my kid's experience: "there is some tension/racism/jealousy when it comes to education and Asians here in high SES areas, but that's a parent thing, and the children don't experience it AFAIK." Parent things trickle down to students and there's plenty of this tension, although lots of the kids do support each other.

PP and we do live in one of the higher % Asian school zones. I'm not trying to discourage you from living here, by the way. I suspect there are issues everywhere including SF and NY.

[Anonymous]

You won't see much in NoVa, MoCo (MD), and Howard (MD) but that changes fast as you move farther away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Korean and immigrated to the US in middle school. I lived in the Midwest where I got viciously bullied for being the only Asian kid. Then my family moved to SF where my school was almost 50% Asian and felt like I fit in for the first time. I moved to Arlington a year ago with my Korean husband for work and we are now expecting. I want to have at least 2 kids and was wondering how is this area for Asian families? I know it is much more diverse and accepting here than the Midwest, but it still doesn’t have as many Asians as SF. I’m just worried my kids will grow up being bullied or feeling like outsiders here. The experience I had was traumatizing and I don’t want my kids to go through the same so was wondering if I should move back to SF or NY.

My kids’ high schools in FCPS are both majority-minority (19% and 46% whites). There is no racism here near DC; most people are brown / not white.

[Anonymous]

These are Asian kids:

https://www.fairfaxtimes.com/articles/fairfax_county/fairfax-county-public-schools-suspends-student-for-allegedly-blowing-whistle-on-swastika-flag/article_26c795f4-84a9-11ee-8c2e-d709babe6b5d.html

[Anonymous]

Tons of Koreans around Centreville/Chantilly. And still a good amount around Annandale. Frankly, Northern Virginia just has a lot of Koreans.

[Anonymous]

I think even in the Midwest it’s hard to be the only Asian anymore, tbh. Any wealthy, educated suburb will have a sizeable population of Asians. It’s hard to beat SF and the Bay Area of course but it’s not the old times for sure

[Anonymous]

To offer a counterpoint, I am half-Asian and grew up in the Bay Area and was on the receiving end of a fair amount of racism/bullying from Asian-only families/children/parents. So living in a predominantly Asian (or higher SES) area doesn't grant you immunity from those types of experiences. I now live in DC proper with my family and though my kid is still young, I have not encountered significant racism or ostracization in any educational or social environment here.