Ive found as a mom I am very judgemental

[Anonymous]

before my child I would say was unjudgemental and excepting and very whatever works for you type of person
but since becoming a mom Im so much more judgemental over people
anyone else find this?

[Anonymous]

About parenting? Yes. We are all judgemental inwardly, but you'll learn how to put your differences aside. You will realize no one agrees on all Parenting topics and learn to get over it.

[Anonymous]

It's been the opposite for me...I'm much less judgmental now that I'm a parent myself and know how hard it is.

[Anonymous]

You should try to get over it and focus on improving yourself.
Signed,
a former judgmental bitch

[Anonymous]

I have found the exact opposite to be the case for me. I got hooked on this website while pregnant and got sucked into the alternate universe that is DCUM. I thought I would never give my DD formula, never let her watch tv until 2, make my own baby food from organic produce, yada yada yada....

Well, you know what? When I couldn't take the pumping 4x a day, the fenugreek, etc. after 6 months... I gave DD some formula and, *wait for it...* she survived.

When I had my first girls night out in a year, I got smashed and had a blast, and I felt alive again. My sweet DH took over the next day, and DD and DH sat and watched football all.day.long. DD survived, and I will often turn the tv on in the mornings when I need some time to ease into the day after waking up multiple times throughout the night.

When I looked at the cost of regular baby food vs organic, let alone the cost of fresh organic produce to make my own food, I opted for the regular Gerber food. DD is surviving.

The list goes on. DCUM can warp us so much that we think judging is the norm, or even appropriate for that matter. It's not. It took having a child for me to see that.

[Anonymous]

I'm curious what you're being more judgemental about. I think being a parent has made me much more empathetic toward people with kids. I used to be annoyed by double-wide strollers, crying kids at restaurants and on airplanes, etc. Now I just want to jump in and help. I feel parental kinship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what you're being more judgemental about. I think being a parent has made me much more empathetic toward people with kids. I used to be annoyed by double-wide strollers, crying kids at restaurants and on airplanes, etc. Now I just want to jump in and help. I feel parental kinship.

I agree completely with this. At the same time, I have to admit that I sometimes find myself watching a kid climb a fountain (5 feet up and slippery concrete) and get worried he'll fall, or think "well, I wouldn't leave my kid home alone yet" but I know that as long as the kid doesn't actually get hurt it's probably good for them, so that's more of a "I wouldn't have done it" but hopefully not too judgey, if that makes any sense.

[Anonymous]

So stop. You have this in your power to do. First step, bite your tongue. Next step, catch yourself when having judgmental thoughts, and think of something else.

This is in your power to control. It isn't a nice trait.

[Anonymous]

I stopped being judgmental when my first child was born premature and then revealed developmental delays. I learned that however "perfect" the parenting is, your child is who he is and some traits can never be changed.

I thank my lucky stars every day that my second child is healthy, happy and meets her milestones. There is no time or place for ungenerous judgments in this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So stop. You have this in your power to do. First step, bite your tongue. Next step, catch yourself when having judgmental thoughts, and think of something else.

This is in your power to control. It isn't a nice trait.

A little ironic of a post.

[Anonymous]

I am judgemental, but only when it affects me/my baby - e.g.: if we are the the play area in the mall and big kids are running wild, I find myself judging their parents for being lazy talking with friends, talking on the phone or checking it without paying attention or even taking their 7+ y. old to a place designated for younger children.

At the playground: parents that put their kids on the swing and stay there for fuc*ing forever without any consideration for other children. If the place is crowded and there are only 2 swings, 10 min for your child is plenty. When my child goes and I tell her in a loud voice: "time to go now and let other kids have fun too" (passive aggressive, but whatever.)

Also at the play area: I saw a mother changing her toddler poop diaper on the floor and I was clearly judgmental about it... if you have to do it there, at least do on the benches, not were kids are crawling, etc.

However, kids throwing a fit, having a temper tantrum in public, crying in the airplane, etc... that kind of thing that is clearly out of the control of any parent I commiserate.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I've become more judgmental about other people's parenting decisions that affect me, more so than I was before having children. I find now that if a friend allows her child to do something in my house that I wouldn't allow my own child to do, I feel annoyed in a way that I wouldn't have pre-baby.

[Anonymous]

and the next thing that happens is you have a second child who does all the things you judged others for. It's karma and it always come back to bite you in the tush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been the opposite for me...I'm much less judgmental now that I'm a parent myself and know how hard it is.

Me too.

And when I do find myself being judgmental, if I look closely, it's because somehow I feel less than adequate in that same area somehow so I'm trying to make myself feel better by inwardly dogging someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am judgemental, but only when it affects me/my baby - e.g.: if we are the the play area in the mall and big kids are running wild, I find myself judging their parents for being lazy talking with friends, talking on the phone or checking it without paying attention or even taking their 7+ y. old to a place designated for younger children.

At the playground: parents that put their kids on the swing and stay there for fuc*ing forever without any consideration for other children. If the place is crowded and there are only 2 swings, 10 min for your child is plenty. When my child goes and I tell her in a loud voice: "time to go now and let other kids have fun too" (passive aggressive, but whatever.)

Also at the play area: I saw a mother changing her toddler poop diaper on the floor and I was clearly judgmental about it... if you have to do it there, at least do on the benches, not were kids are crawling, etc.

However, kids throwing a fit, having a temper tantrum in public, crying in the airplane, etc... that kind of thing that is clearly out of the control of any parent I commiserate.

I saw a mom changing her daughter during storytime at the library. The girl was at least 3 yo (i would have guessed 4 yo, but just can't believe it) and bent over to let her mom wipe her butt right there on the carpet while the other kids sang a song.

I agree about being much more forgiving of crying and fit-throwing kids, though I don't think it is completely out of the parent's control.