My 12 yo's irritability is off the charts

[Anonymous]

My 12 yo (adhd/ possibly audhd but experts have different povs on that) irritability is off the charts and i dont know what to do. EVERYTHING annoys him. I keep trying to do nice things with and for him and he's just annoyed. He has sooo much anger. He says he's tired all the time, or has headaches (have been to neurologist and all fine). He's in therapy with a great therapist, but i'm at a loss. I prefer not to put him on more medication on top of the stimulants but it's just a little heartbreaking. any advice?

[Anonymous]

I’m going to just be super blunt. You lost me at “I prefer not to put him on meds.” Families and the kids themselves deserve some relief. If my parents had towed the “I prefer not to put my depressed and irritable teenage daughter on meds” line, I’d be long dead by suicide. Your child is suffering from a real condition, just like cancer is real. He, and you, deserve relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to just be super blunt. You lost me at “I prefer not to put him on meds.” Families and the kids themselves deserve some relief. If my parents had towed the “I prefer not to put my depressed and irritable teenage daughter on meds” line, I’d be long dead by suicide. Your child is suffering from a real condition, just like cancer is real. He, and you, deserve relief.

op - sorry i 'lost you' but SSRIs for tweens are no joke. I have been told this by multiple psychiatrists. Every parent should start from a place of reluctance where these hardcore medications for kids this age are concerned. I encourage you to search on this board for multiple examples of why SSRIs are not a first line answer to these issues before you come with such certainty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to just be super blunt. You lost me at “I prefer not to put him on meds.” Families and the kids themselves deserve some relief. If my parents had towed the “I prefer not to put my depressed and irritable teenage daughter on meds” line, I’d be long dead by suicide. Your child is suffering from a real condition, just like cancer is real. He, and you, deserve relief.

op - sorry i 'lost you' but SSRIs for tweens are no joke. I have been told this by multiple psychiatrists. Every parent should start from a place of reluctance where these hardcore medications for kids this age are concerned. I encourage you to search on this board for multiple examples of why SSRIs are not a first line answer to these issues before you come with such certainty.

SSRIs are not "hardcore medications."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to just be super blunt. You lost me at “I prefer not to put him on meds.” Families and the kids themselves deserve some relief. If my parents had towed the “I prefer not to put my depressed and irritable teenage daughter on meds” line, I’d be long dead by suicide. Your child is suffering from a real condition, just like cancer is real. He, and you, deserve relief.

op - sorry i 'lost you' but SSRIs for tweens are no joke. I have been told this by multiple psychiatrists. Every parent should start from a place of reluctance where these hardcore medications for kids this age are concerned. I encourage you to search on this board for multiple examples of why SSRIs are not a first line answer to these issues before you come with such certainty.

SSRIs are not "hardcore medications."

they are when it comes to a child. it's a ridiculous argument you're making that this is a slam dunk choice for a tween. I cant imagine that you've spoken to many medical professionals if this is your take. I'm not saying they may not be the correct route, they may well be. But a lot of things should happen before parents of a 12 year old jump to this solve.

[Anonymous]

My child is on Prozac. Super safe medication. I was on it simultaneously, which made me feel better about it.

SSRIs are quite safe. Honestly, I think stimulants are a much bigger deal.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about a different type of stimulant or non-stimulant? I remember when I tried Concerta-the anger and irritability was no joke. Vyvanse seemed a better fit and my son is now on a non-stimulant (strattera) with a small dose of vyvanse. His mood seems to be smoother.

[Anonymous]

If he says he is tired all the time, is he getting enough sleep? Bonus for you is that if he spends more time sleeping you get a longer break from his irritability

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to just be super blunt. You lost me at “I prefer not to put him on meds.” Families and the kids themselves deserve some relief. If my parents had towed the “I prefer not to put my depressed and irritable teenage daughter on meds” line, I’d be long dead by suicide. Your child is suffering from a real condition, just like cancer is real. He, and you, deserve relief.

Just to be super blunt as well, stimulant meds are known to cause irritability as a side effect, so prioritizing your kids academic success over their mental health is something to be questioned.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried magnesium threonate?

[Anonymous]

This thread is ridiculous and should be shut down. Or the non-SN parents should stay off it. OP's kid is already on medication, one that in a lot of cases is the only tool a parent has to allow their kid to be in school (ie if adhd is hyperactive/impulsive, a lot of boys would have been thrown out of public school without medication). It is not unreasonable to not want to double up medication in this situation. Posters need to back off this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP, just put your kid on SSRIs at a very low dose to start. STop being fed MAHA and take care of your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety often looks like irritability in children. Autism can make that irritability worse. Stimulants can make anxiety worse. You need to talk to your psychiatrist if the stimulants might be contributing (have you had a recent dose or medication change) or if a SSRI or mood stabilizer (ie, abilify) might be appropriate. Abilify saved our family and I resisted it for far too long.

[Anonymous]

Just a thought, but is he secretly staying up at night on devices? We discovered my 12 year old was watching YouTube in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep…. And of course that was waking him up even more.
(Yes, we control devices, he found an old random tablet we forgot we still owned, without parental controls).

[Anonymous]

We were in a similar situation for several years. It was difficult and affected everyone in the family. DC wouldn't engage in therapy. Irritability in children is often a symptom of depression. An SSRI was a game changer for DC. The medication was started at a very low dose (Prozac 10 mg) and eventually increased to 20 mg.