Why are some people noticed and remembered and fussed over?

[Anonymous]

Why are some people so celebrated while others are forgotten?

[Anonymous]

Because they're more memorable to more people.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't mean they were better than others.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness no one remembers me, it's truly best Now, how to get the dentist office from wishing a happy birthday??

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's because they are needy and people want to help them. If you are very independent you can't experience this (only from the outside). I have seen that someone who needs help or pretends to need help elicits a response (sometimes backfires). Vulnerability and all that.

[Anonymous]

Some people have charisma.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it seems logical and fair, and sometimes it doesn't.

Like if someone you know gets a cancer diagnosis, and the community rallies around them, it seems obvious that people are just helping someone who most needs it.

Or sometimes people are just incredibly talented or skilled, and they get a lot of attention for it, and it makes sense because people get something in return for that attention. For instance when a high school student is an exceptional musician, and people spend a lot of time praising them, because they enjoy hearing that person play music. It is logical.

But there are so many times when it feels illogical and unfair. I worked for a woman once who I now think was a "vulnerable narcissist" -- someone who plays the victim a lot in order to attract attention and sympathy, but the whole thing is masking a fundamental belief that they are better and more important than other people. That woman got absolutely showered with attention and support, all the time (by people who worked for her, made less money, had less job stability, etc.) and she was an expert at eliciting it. I remember once coming into work and finding her sitting in a chair surrounded by a bunch of my colleagues sitting on the floor, like it was story time in preschool, listening to her tell a story about some minor drama that had unfolded at her house the prior weekend. I know that sounds made up but it was real. And to be clear, these were adults. It was such a messed up dynamic.

But some people just have this power. I knew another woman where it wasn't quite that dramatic but there was something about her that made people dote on her and pay her compliments. She'd post something very mundane to social media and people would fall all over themselves praising her. I never understood it. A couple times she posted things I even found to be actively unlikeable (they just came off as entitled or tone deaf to me) and it was the same response. I never figured out what people saw in her. Just a mystery to me.

[Anonymous]

If you are not noticed, ask yourself if you have intentionally (or unintentionally) hidden yourself to others in some way. Looking in the mirror can be an eye opening experience.

[Anonymous]

Both my sister and my cousin have this gift. Everything they do gets gushed over. Every single photo that finds its way onto social media gets dozens of "you're gorgeous!" If they bring a dish to a potluck, it's the star. If they make a craft for a kids party, it's the most perfect thing ever. If they have a confused look on their face in public, someone will rush over to provide assistance. Nephews music class was missing a teacher and they asked my sister to sing and dance as a substitute. Has she ever sung and danced? No! But they just knew she'd sell it and the kids would love it.
It's kind of fascinating but being related to such shining stars sucks because I'm so unmemorable.

[Anonymous]

Doors open because I'm pretty, but I get a seat at the table because I work hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they're more memorable to more people.

And more celebrable

[Anonymous]

People do that with my ex and his girlfriend, who operates as his “lady of the manor” at his penthouse.

My kids tell me she spends time at work mostly shopping for bad fashions to put on his credit card and tells every new hire that she is not held to the same standards because she’s (the boss’s) girlfriend.

He’s got money. And gets drunk a lot. Picks up a lot of tabs and gets frequently drunk enough to invite lots of people on vacations with him and the girlfriend. She does all the travel plans. She just gets him to say yes.

He recently threw a whole graduation party in the Caribbean for his girlfriend’s son from her 2nd marriage.

He never threw even one graduation party for any of our kids.

Money. Money. Money. And power. And influence.