Reply to Why are some people noticed and remembered and fussed over?

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[quote=Anonymous]Sometimes it seems logical and fair, and sometimes it doesn't.

Like if someone you know gets a cancer diagnosis, and the community rallies around them, it seems obvious that people are just helping someone who most needs it.

Or sometimes people are just incredibly talented or skilled, and they get a lot of attention for it, and it makes sense because people get something in return for that attention. For instance when a high school student is an exceptional musician, and people spend a lot of time praising them, because they enjoy hearing that person play music. It is logical.

But there are so many times when it feels illogical and unfair. I worked for a woman once who I now think was a "vulnerable narcissist" -- someone who plays the victim a lot in order to attract attention and sympathy, but the whole thing is masking a fundamental belief that they are better and more important than other people. That woman got absolutely showered with attention and support, all the time (by people who worked for her, made less money, had less job stability, etc.) and she was an expert at eliciting it. I remember once coming into work and finding her sitting in a chair surrounded by a bunch of my colleagues sitting on the floor, like it was story time in preschool, listening to her tell a story about some minor drama that had unfolded at her house the prior weekend. I know that sounds made up but it was real. And to be clear, these were adults. It was such a messed up dynamic.

But some people just have this power. I knew another woman where it wasn't quite that dramatic but there was something about her that made people dote on her and pay her compliments. She'd post something very mundane to social media and people would fall all over themselves praising her. I never understood it. A couple times she posted things I even found to be actively unlikeable (they just came off as entitled or tone deaf to me) and it was the same response. I never figured out what people saw in her. Just a mystery to me.[/quote]

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