Is it really so bad to move when the kids are in college?
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Anonymous
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Our financial situation has improved dramatically since we bought our current home. It’s a perfectly fine home and we’d like our kids (9th and 12th grade) to finish high school where they are. There aren’t really any homes we are interested in the HS district so we are strongly considering moving once the youngest leaves for college. The new home would still be in northern VA where the current home is so they could still see friends when they come home, and the new home would be nicer, they could restricted their bedrooms, etc. and I would still want it to feel like home to them.
But I worry that they would never really feel at home somewhere they didn’t grow up. DH thinks I’m absurd. Has anyone done this and it went ok? Both kids are girls if it matters. |
Anonymous
| *redecorate |
Anonymous
| Team DH. Your kids will adapt, if they need to adapt at all. |
Anonymous
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How far is it from the old home? "Northern VA" could be a huge area. I think they would dislike being more than an hour's drive from their friends.
After college they won't care. |
Anonymous
OP here. It would be no more than 30 minutes in any direction from the current home. Likely less because DH and I still will be working in the office at times. |
Anonymous
| I’d ask them how they feel about it. I thought my son would be very attached to his childhood home, but he’s not. He’s much more attached to comfort - he’s all for a nicer, bigger house as soon as we can afford it. That said, he is a college freshman and we aren’t buying a new house for a couple of years. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it is bad to move when the kids are in college without leaving a forwarding address. |
Anonymous
I wouldn’t worry about this, that only lasts for a few years at most. Once they graduate from college, the majority scatter to the four winds anyway unless they move back home and are unemployed. |
Anonymous
| Friend’s parents did this and they moved everything from her childhood bedroom. Bedroom looked the same as it had when she was growing up. Felt like the same room just in a new house. Friend didn’t mind and she got an upgraded bathroom which was a bonus. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't move the weekend they leave for college but once they are established in the school a few months I think it would be fine.
Kids sometimes have a hard time realizing their parents are independent people during the empty nest phase. Kid probably won't be coming home for more than a few months at time in the next few years, and then could move away themselves. This might be more likely if you move. Our kids are boomeranging for a while because its so expensive to rent here, even though they have jobs. They might not want to do that if the house wasn't what they were used to. |
Anonymous
| It's not a big deal if moving close enough for them to see friends pretty easily. It is a big deal if moving far away. |
Anonymous
| Stay in same home and improve it to your taste. More return on investment and custom upgrades to suit your needs and new budget. |
Anonymous
| Downsize to a smaller but mire up budgeted home once kids finish colleges and get jobs and apartments. No point in buying a big house once kids are gone to colleges. |
Anonymous
This What we did. |
Anonymous
| We moved to DC from the burbs when our youngest was a college sophomore and she survived. |