Where is this Anger coming from…?
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Anonymous
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I am feeling so angry with my elderly parents who are visiting for the holidays. Sure in the past I’ve been annoyed with their ways…but this time, I’m legit angry. Seeing their annoying, unreasonably demanding ways is making me angry.
What can I take, other than alcohol, to calm me down until they leave? |
Anonymous
| A low dose of a SSRI worked for me. I think a lot of it was anxiety, coming from me, about their health, their dumb decisions, the lies they tell me, and about what a giant pain it's going to be to deal with however many crises it takes and then the estate. |
Anonymous
| I just keep thinking, I don’t want to end up like them. |
Anonymous
This. Anger is often just anxiety around not being able to manage everything. |
Anonymous
I mean, they've been your parents for a very long time. When they leave do you do anything to process their behaviors and to find ways to talk to them about it? Or talk to a professional about how you can handle them and have some boundaries? If you don't do anything differently on your end, you're on an endless circular road to anger and frustration. |
Anonymous
| How many days? Guests and fish start to smell after 3 days ~ that was what my father insisted. No one gets to stay longer than invited - you decide. Hotel. Also a viable option. You decide. Not them. And your schedule, when you're home. When you're available, you decide. |
Anonymous
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OP, no one can be their Best Self if there is too much togetherness. Give the relationships a chance, the best chance for everyone to enjoy/tolerate each other -- but that means, spending less time together. Everyone needs time apart. Likely, your best approach is a hotel. They get some privacy, and some alone time. When everyone joins back together for dinner, for a meal, the time together is more enjoyable.
You are angry because you are not feeling empowered. You need to be empowered, and should be. Speak up and frame the visit )if not this visit, certainly future visits) You are the host, this is your house. You can assert your wishes more than what you are currently doing. |
Anonymous
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Stop hosting - Do you have siblings? Punt those visits on them
See your Dr - maybe meds You’ve got options OP |
Anonymous
It sounds like she’s already there and more! |
Anonymous
| Low-dose Zoloft and “Radical Acceptance” book helped me a lot. They aren’t going to change, or ever be accountable, or get better. But I can be the author of my own story. |
Anonymous
| What are they doing that has set you off during this visit? |
Anonymous
Mine was repressed anger my parents never allowed me to experience. It helped to limit contact as much as possible. |
Anonymous
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And, like others,.I did a low dose ssri.
Also journaled about all the repressed anger to get it out. When seeing them I would have to take a break to walk and mumble in anger, or go to the bathroom and experience anger or journal.a s experience anger. Calling my parents on their BS also helped a time or two. |
Anonymous
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You should NEVER have to medicate yourself, with all the side-effects you are putting on your body, to tolerate others. If you can't stand your parents, stop seeing them. End of story.
My parents keep smoking even though my father has a lung condition that might kill him within the year. His doctors at multiple hospitals have offered to help him stop smoking. He's not going to. I am not making my blood pressure rise any higher by arguing with him. I just don't call. |
Anonymous
| Smoke some weed or take an edible. |