“It’s just her personality.”

[Anonymous]

We have a neighbor who I suspect is bipolar. She swings from nice to shrew in seconds. Screams at her husband in restaurants. She has taken to yelling at some of us over how we keep our lawns. She’s not fun to be around.

Another neighbor says “it’s just her personality.”

Okay fine but do I need to put up with it?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Nope. And it's not personality. I had a neighbor who was bipolar + PTSD (veteran), who would swing from being extremely nice to screaming at me, hitting our shared wall (we lived in townhouses), etc over extremely minor things. Things like, he saw a cat in his yard and thought it was mine (it wasn't, I have never owned a cat).

I finally had enough and just started calling the cops on him every time it happened and filing police reports. He stopped and wrote me an apology letter. Never bother me again, and within a year moved away.

Consequences work.

[Anonymous]

Just don't engage at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't engage at all.

+1 Don't be around her. If you're worried about it escalating, get cameras.

[Anonymous]

I loathe this explanation for really anti-social behavior. There are times when it makes sense, when someone's behavior is merely annoying or just quirky. But people who do this sort of thing -- swing from nice to raging on a dime-- or are habitual liars, or who can be viciously cruel for no reason? I don't write that off and I avoid them whenever possible.

[Anonymous]

I mean, OK. Don’t invite her over for coffee. If she yells at you, tell her you won’t tolerate that level of unnecessary rudeness, and say you’re done with the conversation. Avoid her.

What else, OP? Disagree with the other neighbor and say you’re going to round everyone up to stage a therapy/diagnosis intervention? Hold her nose to force open her mouth so you can shove pills in?

What are you expecting from this thread?

[Anonymous]

Dangerous neighbor. Avoid at all costs.

Bipolar folks are dangerous.

Accept no excuses whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Just ignore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, OK. Don’t invite her over for coffee. If she yells at you, tell her you won’t tolerate that level of unnecessary rudeness, and say you’re done with the conversation. Avoid her.

What else, OP? Disagree with the other neighbor and say you’re going to round everyone up to stage a therapy/diagnosis intervention? Hold her nose to force open her mouth so you can shove pills in?

What are you expecting from this thread?

This. What’s your point, OP?

[Anonymous]

How bad is your lawn, especially considering it is December? If her comments are off the wall, just say, ”I’ll get to it” and move on. I would avoid a confrontation because people can be unstable and see no need to pi$$ them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor who I suspect is bipolar. She swings from nice to shrew in seconds. Screams at her husband in restaurants. She has taken to yelling at some of us over how we keep our lawns. She’s not fun to be around.

Another neighbor says “it’s just her personality.”

Okay fine but do I need to put up with it?

If you want to be around her, you'll need to accept that you can't control her. The good news is: you're not responsible for the things you can't control.

If you don't want to "put up with" her, don't be around her. You can control where you spend your time and energy (without judging others, even!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor who I suspect is bipolar. She swings from nice to shrew in seconds. Screams at her husband in restaurants. She has taken to yelling at some of us over how we keep our lawns. She’s not fun to be around.

Another neighbor says “it’s just her personality.”

Okay fine but do I need to put up with it?

If you want to be around her, you'll need to accept that you can't control her. The good news is: you're not responsible for the things you can't control.

If you don't want to "put up with" her, don't be around her. You can control where you spend your time and energy (without judging others, even!).

Agree. I’d just add that you don’t always control who’s included when you’re not the planner so if you want to avoid, you may have to decline invites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor who I suspect is bipolar. She swings from nice to shrew in seconds. Screams at her husband in restaurants. She has taken to yelling at some of us over how we keep our lawns. She’s not fun to be around.

Another neighbor says “it’s just her personality.”

Okay fine but do I need to put up with it?

If you want to be around her, you'll need to accept that you can't control her. The good news is: you're not responsible for the things you can't control.

If you don't want to "put up with" her, don't be around her. You can control where you spend your time and energy (without judging others, even!).

Solid advice.

[Anonymous]

Why are you dealing with this? End the relationship.