How long do you stay with out of town fam

[Anonymous]

We live in the DMV and my brother in law moved to Florida five years ago. They are the only cousins my kids have so we make sure to visit each year, usually at Christmas, over the summer, in addition to a couple other get togethers for various family events.

Since the kids have off for winter break, we have been visiting them for 6 or 7 days over the holidays and honestly it’s just too long for me. I’m trying to convince my DH to do shorter visits but he says he wants to spend time either his brother.

If you have family that lives a plane ride away, how long are your visits with them over the holidays? A week is way too long, right?

[Anonymous]

Fish and company start to smell after 3 days.

[Anonymous]

3 days. Can you leave early and leave DH (and kids if they want to stay)?

[Anonymous]

Three to five days.
We also stay in a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Three days. You should know this OP if you are on DCUM. What vibes are you getting from the wife?

She wants you all gone for sure.

[Anonymous]

When you say 3 days, would it be like coming on Friday and leaving on Monday? Or leave on Sunday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say 3 days, would it be like coming on Friday and leaving on Monday? Or leave on Sunday?

Leave on Sunday. You don't have to fly out but leave. You can get a hotel and do something else if they have attractions nearby.

[Anonymous]

Oh please. As a kid, my cousins and I (ten of us to three different siblings, same grandparents) used to spend 10 days to 2 weeks together over school breaks because that's the only time we could get together. The bright side of this, the 10 of us range from 52 - 66 and are still close today (as are our kids - there are even a couple of grandkids now).

OP, if YOU need a break, step out for a spa day, or have to race back early for work, or meet another friend for 2 days in the middle, but let your husband enjoy time with his brother and let the cousins become friends

[eastcoastmom]

I think that is way too long. I hate having overnight guests for long stays and also don't like going to someone's elses house for more than a couple of days. I think a good compromise would be 5 days. Even if you have an amazing relationship, it is an enormous amount of work for the hosting family to have overnight guests for that long.

[Anonymous]

As little as possible if we're somehow forced to stay in their small homes, but we can go for two weeks if for some of that time, we're in a hotel, or we rent a larger AirBnB that can comfortably accommodate more people and give everyone their own space.

[Anonymous]

Arrive late evening day 1, leave early in the morning on day 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in the DMV and my brother in law moved to Florida five years ago. They are the only cousins my kids have so we make sure to visit each year, usually at Christmas, over the summer, in addition to a couple other get togethers for various family events.

Since the kids have off for winter break, we have been visiting them for 6 or 7 days over the holidays and honestly it’s just too long for me. I’m trying to convince my DH to do shorter visits but he says he wants to spend time either his brother.

If you have family that lives a plane ride away, how long are your visits with them over the holidays? A week is way too long, right?

No offense but they want you to leave too. At least try to be a good guest - pitching in with meals and cleaning and entertaining the kids. I agree that more than 3-4 full days is way too long.

I host every family gathering and my side are a bunch of useless takers who come and go without lifting a finger to help. Or if they do try to help they need my direction on exactly what to do like they are small children and not adults and like I haven't been hosting in the same house for over a decade. And before you say it folks, trust me - I've tried to speak with them about it. It's just useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. As a kid, my cousins and I (ten of us to three different siblings, same grandparents) used to spend 10 days to 2 weeks together over school breaks because that's the only time we could get together. The bright side of this, the 10 of us range from 52 - 66 and are still close today (as are our kids - there are even a couple of grandkids now).

OP, if YOU need a break, step out for a spa day, or have to race back early for work, or meet another friend for 2 days in the middle, but let your husband enjoy time with his brother and let the cousins become friends

Is the relationship between your mom and her sister? Because those cousins tend to be closest imo… hanging out for a week.

Different story if it’s your BIL and his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in the DMV and my brother in law moved to Florida five years ago. They are the only cousins my kids have so we make sure to visit each year, usually at Christmas, over the summer, in addition to a couple other get togethers for various family events.

Since the kids have off for winter break, we have been visiting them for 6 or 7 days over the holidays and honestly it’s just too long for me. I’m trying to convince my DH to do shorter visits but he says he wants to spend time either his brother.

If you have family that lives a plane ride away, how long are your visits with them over the holidays? A week is way too long, right?

No offense but they want you to leave too. At least try to be a good guest - pitching in with meals and cleaning and entertaining the kids. I agree that more than 3-4 full days is way too long.

I host every family gathering and my side are a bunch of useless takers who come and go without lifting a finger to help. Or if they do try to help they need my direction on exactly what to do like they are small children and not adults and like I haven't been hosting in the same house for over a decade. And before you say it folks, trust me - I've tried to speak with them about it. It's just useless.

+1

Our adult kids in their partners arrived on Sunday and I am so tired already. So so tired.

[Anonymous]

*and their partners