Kicked out of preschool

[Anonymous]

My child has trouble with emotions and when he gets upset, he sometimes lashes out. I've been working with the school, and am on a waitlist for therapy. Now the school is saying he can't stay because of his aggression. What's next? Will a different preschool take a kid who was kicked out? I'm at a loss for what else to do until I get off the waitlist and he can start therapy and maybe get a diagnosis of some sort.

[Anonymous]

Have you gone through Child Find yet? That is your first step- see if there is a disability so that your child can receive special education services for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you gone through Child Find yet? That is your first step- see if there is a disability so that your child can receive special education services for free.

I just googled child find - I didn't realize the school system did anything for preschoolers! I don't think my son needs special education, but it seems silly not to ask for a free evaluation I guess.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked that your preschool didn't recommend Child Find or the equivalent in your location. That's shocking.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP - go through Child Find. And, then be more aggressive about getting therapy. Don't sit around waiting to get off a wait list.

In answer to your question, you are going to have trouble finding/keeping childcare if your child is aggressive. And, unless there is improvement, it's only going to get harder. Given the age of your child, I am guessing you are on the beginning of the path of being a parent of a special needs child. My initial observation is that you are not tenacious enough and you need to become more aggressive in your efforts to get an understanding of your child's needs and in your efforts to get services. It's hard, but it's what you have to do.

If you want ideas, I'd suggest you start a post on the SN forum. People there are really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP - go through Child Find. And, then be more aggressive about getting therapy. Don't sit around waiting to get off a wait list.

In answer to your question, you are going to have trouble finding/keeping childcare if your child is aggressive. And, unless there is improvement, it's only going to get harder. Given the age of your child, I am guessing you are on the beginning of the path of being a parent of a special needs child. My initial observation is that you are not tenacious enough and you need to become more aggressive in your efforts to get an understanding of your child's needs and in your efforts to get services. It's hard, but it's what you have to do.

If you want ideas, I'd suggest you start a post on the SN forum. People there are really helpful.

+100

[Anonymous]

OP, if you need childcare, there are daycares that have teachers skilled at working with kids with special needs. Your kid doesn't need to have a diagnosis to go there. I have friends whose kid was counseled out of a daycare and they sent their kid to Easter Seals and it was night and day. Another one I have heard of is Karasik.

[Anonymous]

Okay, this is helpful. Hard to hear but I think I needed it. I will go with child find, and look for other places for therapy.

We're in a very small preschool now. Are there any preschools that are better for kids like mine? The bigger chains or smaller programs? I need to find a new preschool ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need childcare, there are daycares that have teachers skilled at working with kids with special needs. Your kid doesn't need to have a diagnosis to go there. I have friends whose kid was counseled out of a daycare and they sent their kid to Easter Seals and it was night and day. Another one I have heard of is Karasik.

Thank you! I posted my question about this before I saw your response. I'll google those

[Anonymous]

Has your son been in daycare since infancy? Sometimes this can contribute to attachment issues and problems with emotional regulation. A psychodynamic therapist, spending more time with him, and if you absolutely require care, a nurturing nanny, are steps worth considering if this is the situation. I hope good things for you and your child.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child? How close to school age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your son been in daycare since infancy? Sometimes this can contribute to attachment issues and problems with emotional regulation. A psychodynamic therapist, spending more time with him, and if you absolutely require care, a nurturing nanny, are steps worth considering if this is the situation. I hope good things for you and your child.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've been there with my son. I agree with calling Child Find asap. Depending on how old your child is, they may instruct you to contact your school district for an evaluation.

Therapy is important, but at this age, the benefits of therapy won't be immediate and it won't be a cure-all. It's important to get the supports he needs in place so that he can succeed in a school environment. We spent a great deal of time and money on therapies and parent training that we hoped would help our son learn to emotionally regulate, but it wasn't until he had supports put in place under an IEP that he was able to start making progress. You might also consider getting a private psych evaluation, which can help provide guidance on on what therapies to pursue and open up other resources to you.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how stressful and devastating it can feel. While progress won't be linear, know that with therapy and maturity (as well as medication in my son's case) it can get better over time. If you have any questions, just let me know and I'd be happy to share more about our experiences.

[Anonymous]

My child was also kicked out of preschool so I have BTDT. There are some, but very few, preschools that can (or are willing to) handle an aggressive child. We found TNP through the Lourie School in Rockville to be tremendous and they even helped with placement into kindergarten. Child Find is a long process, so I would still look for a preschool that might work for your child. An alternate route that we used was getting a special needs trained au pair who practiced her skills with our son- she was incredible and is still so close to us.

I know you don't think your child has a disability, but being aggressive and getting kicked out of preschool kind of lends itself to the idea that your child might. In the early ages, a child with a disability is coded as Developmental Delay and generally keeps that label until the child is 7 and more information can be formed as to what is going on. A developmental delay is just what it sounds like- your child is not developing at the same timeline as expected, which is true in this case with emotional regulation.

Don't be surprised if that aggression turns to later diagnoses like anxiety, ADHD, autism, etc... Be on the lookout for signs as early intervention is your best bet.

You've got this!

[Anonymous]

Therapy at this age is worthless. Look for parent training to help you in the home.