Happy Single

[Anonymous]

If you are happy being single can you share why and what you like about it? Are there any influencers or authors who you think make good content about being happy single?

[Anonymous]

I'm very OK being single at this point but I'm a a bit older and retired (60)) and have no more plans to seek out another partner.

The things I miss: having a partner to just face down life with in general. Bounce things off of. The feeling that someone has my back in particular.

Things I'm OK with: not having to do chores or keep the house in any particular way to meet someone else's standards. Having as many pets as I want. All the TV and meals and takeout being my choice. Not having to constantly worry about my appearance, weight, makeup, hair. Go to sleep and wake up on my own schedule.

I'll never be cheated on again.

I'm also somewhat relieved at the fact that I'll never have to go through the same shock and wild grief that my married friends went through when their husbands became ill or died suddenly.

If I could have stayed in an intact, supportive marriage I know I would have, I would have spoon-fed that man and wiped him down and cleaned him up until the end, but it didn't work out that way. He's got someone else for that now.

Just didn't work out that way and I can't do anything about it. ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

Life happens. I'm used to being single now and can't picture managing to incorporate another human into my life in that way again. It just seems like way too much work at this point.

[Anonymous]

Most of the above post I endorse.

This morning while I was enjoying my coffee and making breakfast I was mulling over one of the ones I pushed away and sometimes wonder about -

But I realized that the benefits of being with him - he was very bright and there would have been many very interesting conversations - would ultimately have been outweighed by the negatives. He struggled with depression and seemed to be very identified with it (I also struggled with depression in my 30s/40s, but always worked hard to not let it define me), and he had a very strong personality which I think would have overwhelmed mine too much, especially because I grew up in a dysfunctional dynamic that made me a very bad fawner/people pleaser.

Ultimately while I do sometimes wallow in the what if, I don’t know many happily married middle aged women - just ran into a friend at the grocery store the other day who chewed my ear for a half hour about her misery with her 35+ year married husband - and I am certain that if I’d married or otherwise settled long term in a relationship, I would not have self actualized as much as I did and I would not have been as adventurous in my life as I was, which is the source of most of my confidence and interesting memories.

I’m not at all criticizing, I actually lament that what I see in the lives of most of my family, friends and peers who married is women who denied themselves and subsumed themselves to their husbands and kids. I know there is joy in it! Again, not criticizing. Just not sorry anymore that I missed it, because I don’t see a lot of happy older women around me who did choose it.

I’m good with how I rolled the dice.