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[quote=Anonymous]Most of the above post I endorse.

This morning while I was enjoying my coffee and making breakfast I was mulling over one of the ones I pushed away and sometimes wonder about -

But I realized that the benefits of being with him - he was very bright and there would have been many very interesting conversations - would ultimately have been outweighed by the negatives. He struggled with depression and seemed to be very identified with it (I also struggled with depression in my 30s/40s, but always worked hard to not let it define me), and he had a very strong personality which I think would have overwhelmed mine too much, especially because I grew up in a dysfunctional dynamic that made me a very bad fawner/people pleaser.

Ultimately while I do sometimes wallow in the what if, I don’t know many happily married middle aged women - just ran into a friend at the grocery store the other day who chewed my ear for a half hour about her misery with her 35+ year married husband - and I am certain that if I’d married or otherwise settled long term in a relationship, I would not have self actualized as much as I did and I would not have been as adventurous in my life as I was, which is the source of most of my confidence and interesting memories.

I’m not at all criticizing, I actually lament that what I see in the lives of most of my family, friends and peers who married is women who denied themselves and subsumed themselves to their husbands and kids. I know there is joy in it! Again, not criticizing. Just not sorry anymore that I missed it, because I don’t see a lot of happy older women around me who did choose it.

I’m good with how I rolled the dice.[/quote]

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