Do holiday traditions just evolve or can you make them?

[Anonymous]

Bunch of changes in our empty nest life. Many traditions from when the kids were little have petered out as they start spending time with their own families.

Which leaves the two of us. We talk about starting new traditions. But is that a tradition? Something you deliberately decide to do, announcing it will be a tradition? Or is "tradition" more organic and evolve over time?

[Anonymous]

It can be either.

[Anonymous]

Of course you can create new habits. What sort of question is that? Just do what you want. If it sticks around for years, then at some point you'll have a tradition.

[Anonymous]

My traditions weren't really organic. I sat and thought about how I could make my kids' Christmas the most magical ever. And I looked at all the traditions I had growing up too and tried to incorporate them. I definitely think traditions need to evolve. For instance my extended family's Christmas wasn't child friendly. I understand that we will have the only grandchildren, but I wanted Christmas morning to revolve around them, not hungover people sleeping in. I'm disappointed that there's couldn't evolve slightly to include grandchildren. My parents' did evolve to include us.

[Anonymous]

I think you can try new things that appeal to you. If you like them, keep doing them every year. Voila. "New" tradition.

[Anonymous]

Both! Most important, especially as you get older: Be flexible!! Old people getting crotchety and stubborn seem to be a huge contributor to holiday stress, at least according to this forum.

I went from my childhood of having a very traditional xmas in a NE liberal enclave in a snowy climate, church on xmas eve, classic xmas menu (even down to hard and soft xmas pudding sauces) dressing up in xmas finery, etc etc, to now in my 40s the whole extended family converges in Florida, xmas walks on the beach, no church and we have ribs and smoked turkey for xmas dinner. My MIL was not flexible, and for years it was challenging to work around her. She passed away, and the rest of my inlaws, as well as my whole extended family, just want to be happy and together, so everyone is super flexible. Fun times! Evolution! Now these are new xmas traditions, and even they continue to evolve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both! Most important, especially as you get older: Be flexible!! Old people getting crotchety and stubborn seem to be a huge contributor to holiday stress, at least according to this forum.

I went from my childhood of having a very traditional xmas in a NE liberal enclave in a snowy climate, church on xmas eve, classic xmas menu (even down to hard and soft xmas pudding sauces) dressing up in xmas finery, etc etc, to now in my 40s the whole extended family converges in Florida, xmas walks on the beach, no church and we have ribs and smoked turkey for xmas dinner. My MIL was not flexible, and for years it was challenging to work around her. She passed away, and the rest of my inlaws, as well as my whole extended family, just want to be happy and together, so everyone is super flexible. Fun times! Evolution! Now these are new xmas traditions, and even they continue to evolve.

So sweet!

[Anonymous]

It can be both. And it’s really delightful to decide something is going to become a tradition. Go for it, OP!

[Anonymous]

Traditions can be new and even temporary / phase of life. But it can be fun to think of it as "on NYE, we do X" as opposed to just "we are doing X this yr." And then be flexible as circumstances can be different each year.

We are in a different chapter OP (kids are little) and similarly I feel like we are "trying out" different traditions and deciding which to prioritize or repeat.

[Anonymous]

Yeah i'd pick a new thing to try and if you like it enough make it your tradition. The parts of xmas I like best are the things we do each year.

[Anonymous]

Do whatever you want, however often you want. There are no rules - make your own.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter what you call it. If you like it keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Just don't buy "traditions" from the Wireless catalog.

My mom tried to get us onboard with the supposedly German "find the pickle ornament on the Christmas tree" tradition by buying one and announcing we had to search for it. Nobody felt like doing that. Bonus is that we haven't yet found a German person who recognizes this tradition.

She also bought the hard candy peppermint pig that you smash into sharp shards of peppermint. No thanks.

I only have a few traditions.

A live tree
The same ornaments
Paper snowflake making with younger son
Childhood sugar cookie recipe

[Anonymous]

We have traditions that I had from childhood as well as new ones we created. When I got divorced, I wanted to create some things that were just ours, and that was done c intentionally

[Anonymous]

My parents always hosted big family parties on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was magical and so much fun.

But after my parents passed away, I tried to continue the big family production and immediately discovered it was stressful and sad. After one year of hosting, I decided to book a vacation for Christmas week for my family, and that became our new tradition. It’s amazing.

We aren’t empty nesters yet, but I’m bracing myself for the day when my kids might not be able to join us for the Christmas week trip. I guess we will either visit our kids if they opt to host OR simply continue to travel that week and welcome anyone who cares to join us (our treat). At the moment, our kids swear they will continue to travel with us. We will see what happens when significant others/spouses are in the mix.