Separated W feling energized after flirt with elderly dentist

[Anonymous]

Hi, everybody
I know it's silly, but I just need to share how wonderful it was to be on the receiving end of flirtation this past week.

H and I are separated, and our teenage son lives with me. I am in my late forties, work from home and don't meet many people organically. Generally, I don't feel good about myself. In the recent years I gained 20 pounds. None of my pretty clothes fit.

Last week I was jolted out of my rut by my dentist pushing 70 who likely flirts with all of his female patients. He is in great shape, looks decades younger and is very dynamic. He lets it be known (probably to many women) that he is not married, has no kids, is financially very stable and is looking for a relationship.

He is very charming, and laid it on thick: He claimed that it was his day off but came in only for me because I am special. "Honey, move closer to me. Now it's just you and me. I'm going to go really slowly." I almost spit out his mirror and whatever instruments he had in my mouth, I had to laugh so hard.

He has treated me and my son for the past three years, was always slightly flirtatious, but never to this extent. He adores my son.

It was wonderful to be considered beautiful and desirable. It made me realize many things: that I wasted a decade of my best years catering to a husband who didn't want a relationship with me anymore, that I took a huge blow to my self-esteem by accepting not being desired by him, that I have so much more to give and that I deserve to be in a relationship with a good man who loves and appreciates me. I miss laying in bed with my arms wrapped around my partner.

For this I'm very grateful to my dentist. It made me commit to losing weight, dressing well every time I go out, and making an effort to meet more people. I am still on the fence about dating apps. In any case now I know that there is so much more out there
for me.

[Anonymous]

Yay for you. You deserve this happy moment so I’ll omit dentist horror stories

[Anonymous]

While I’m a little concerned about what might amount to sexual harassment by your dentist 😁, I am happy that it’s had a positive impact. Because all of the things you’re now allowing yourself to feel about yourself are TRUE. And you deserve so much better.

Keep this nugget in your pocket when you’re feeling down or discouraged. Wishing you all the best!!

[Anonymous]

Who knew a teeth cleaning could change your outlook on life?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. Yes, I feel like this incident has changed my life. I still walk around with a smile on my face. If this small thing could have such a big impact it just made me realize how miserable I was before.

The dentist likely has a lot of experience with underappreciated middle-aged wives.

It reminded me of the movie "Paris Can Wait" with the wonderful Diane Lane (highly recommended!). She plays the wife of an American movie executive, and travels from the South of France to Paris with a flirtatious French business partner of her husband's. Producer and director Eleanor Coppola based the movie on a real-life event that happened to her that "jolted her out of her ennui."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I’m a little concerned about what might amount to sexual harassment by your dentist 😁, I am happy that it’s had a positive impact. Because all of the things you’re now allowing yourself to feel about yourself are TRUE. And you deserve so much better.

Keep this nugget in your pocket when you’re feeling down or discouraged. Wishing you all the best!!

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I’m a little concerned about what might amount to sexual harassment by your dentist 😁, I am happy that it’s had a positive impact. Because all of the things you’re now allowing yourself to feel about yourself are TRUE. And you deserve so much better.

Keep this nugget in your pocket when you’re feeling down or discouraged. Wishing you all the best!!

Lol. That is some heavy flirting.

[Anonymous]

OP is a perfect candidate for an AI boyfriend. Or put on your shortest dress and elf hat and pass out jello at a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

70? Lord no.

[Anonymous]

I actually know a really, really attractive 70 plus man. Not a dentist! He’s in sales. And I’m 58 and not interested because I’m happily married, but I totally get it. Sounds like a great interaction for OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad this did it for you, OP. I would have been really put off by this kind of behavior, left the practice and probably complained. I know some will call me prude or whatever the judgmental eff, but as a survivor, it's really unsettling to have sexuality laid on thick where I don't and shouldn't expect it. People I hire to perform clinical services definitely fall into that category for me.

Again, glad that wasn't your reaction to it. Just wanted to put that out there for any clinicians who might be reading and thinking about trying this on as a strategy. Please don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad this did it for you, OP. I would have been really put off by this kind of behavior, left the practice and probably complained. I know some will call me prude or whatever the judgmental eff, but as a survivor, it's really unsettling to have sexuality laid on thick where I don't and shouldn't expect it. People I hire to perform clinical services definitely fall into that category for me.

Again, glad that wasn't your reaction to it. Just wanted to put that out there for any clinicians who might be reading and thinking about trying this on as a strategy. Please don't.

NP. I don’t think I would have complained but I’d be looking for a new practice. Glad OP is happy but this would not be a good thing for many.

[Anonymous]

A little creepy from a professional.

But honestly OP there is no shortage of men out there who will happily flirt and make you feel wanted, special and awesome. There is also no shortage of women who will do the same for your ex. But that doesn’t mean those men or women are actually any better at healthy relationships. Lots of people lay it on thick and enjoy the early flirting, you're amazing, no you’re amazing, life is just rainbows and sunshine and cuddles stage of dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad this did it for you, OP. I would have been really put off by this kind of behavior, left the practice and probably complained. I know some will call me prude or whatever the judgmental eff, but as a survivor, it's really unsettling to have sexuality laid on thick where I don't and shouldn't expect it. People I hire to perform clinical services definitely fall into that category for me.

Again, glad that wasn't your reaction to it. Just wanted to put that out there for any clinicians who might be reading and thinking about trying this on as a strategy. Please don't.

+1. I don't have experience with assault, but that behavior would be such a turn off for me. His behavior sounds strangely manipulative in the way that many charming people are. Not to mention totally unprofessional. The kind of guy I would keep away from my daughter.

OP I'm rooting for you and don't want to be mean, but you find attention from guys who aren't creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad this did it for you, OP. I would have been really put off by this kind of behavior, left the practice and probably complained. I know some will call me prude or whatever the judgmental eff, but as a survivor, it's really unsettling to have sexuality laid on thick where I don't and shouldn't expect it. People I hire to perform clinical services definitely fall into that category for me.

Again, glad that wasn't your reaction to it. Just wanted to put that out there for any clinicians who might be reading and thinking about trying this on as a strategy. Please don't.

+1. I don't have experience with assault, but that behavior would be such a turn off for me. His behavior sounds strangely manipulative in the way that many charming people are. Not to mention totally unprofessional. The kind of guy I would keep away from my daughter.

OP I'm rooting for you and don't want to be mean, but you find attention from guys who aren't creepy.

I'm sure OP's dentist can read the room. He would never do anything like that to you.

Glad it has a positive effect on OP.