Quitting regrets?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have older children who were burnt out and quit and then later regretted it?

My kiddo has been playing since they were four and now headed to high school after this season. Has had top training in and out of club and has been very focused on training. Made the jump to travel at U10. Moved to a highly competitive club. Was there for a few years. Very much interested in the collegiate pathway. Training all over the country, all the things. Was basically s*%t all over at that club, but we endured because it was the "best" path. Over that time, interest in skill building continued, but enthusiasm and enjoyment tanked. Kiddo at this point has been training 6 days a week for 4-5 years because that's what they wanted to do, not because of parental pushing. The kind of kid who comes home and trains after practice because they are just that motivated. After playing up a year on U14, decides they no longer care about playing in college and they want to have somewhat of a normal life. Okay cool. They don't want rec because it's boring. They do want to try out for high school teams so wanted to stick with travel to maintain skills, but didn't care about ECNL anymore. We find less competitive clubs to try out. Get three offers. Pick one. Kiddo is once again in a very toxic coaching environment. This would be the 4th year in a row that is the case. Kiddo wants to quit the sport entirely. Not finish the season. Not play in high school. Not play rec. Not play intermurals. Not do private group coaching until high school tryouts. Nothing, nada ever again.

As a parent, I'm somewhat conflicted. I am supporting what kiddo wants. They will be leaving mid year. The toxic club environment is pretty much the same at every club they have played for or trained with. I care more about my child's mental health and the fact that they are just not enjoying it anymore than I do about anything else. I'm just worried that after they don't play this winter or spring after leaving mid year, they may change their mind about trying out in high school. At that point there would be nearly a year skill gap and odds of making the team are slim. As much as my wallet will be thanking me and we definitely have had no life outside of soccer for so many years, it'll be a huge shift for our family, I hate to see them quit something they are really good at due to some Ahole coaches.

Has anyone's child been in a similar situation and later regretted quitting completely?

[Anonymous]

Let him quit. He can play for fun. He's not going to forget how to play. He sounds totally burned out.

Bad luck getting four toxic coaches in a row, yikes.

[Anonymous]

My kid quit mid-year last year during U14 and has no regrets. She was always hurting, had two concussions over a span of 18-months, was tired of all the training, and was sick of all the teammate drama. She had switched teams, thinking it would help, and found that it really didn't. One day, she was just done.

As a family, we enjoy more down time, more control over our schedule, my child has more energy and is still working on healing from injuries.

I will say that HS opens up so many opportunities for more activities, clubs, and sports. Leaving soccer will give your son the chance to explore new activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid quit mid-year last year during U14 and has no regrets. She was always hurting, had two concussions over a span of 18-months, was tired of all the training, and was sick of all the teammate drama. She had switched teams, thinking it would help, and found that it really didn't. One day, she was just done.

As a family, we enjoy more down time, more control over our schedule, my child has more energy and is still working on healing from injuries.

I will say that HS opens up so many opportunities for more activities, clubs, and sports. Leaving soccer will give your son the chance to explore new activities.

That's pretty much our situation. I am happy they want to quit mid year this time around. It's just over the top unacceptable the stuff being done to them. No talks with coaches or directors have changed it. At the old club it was kinda to everyone. This time, it's more targeted at my child and a couple others. We left previous club to get away from the toxicity and went to a club that's even worse. It really sucks that if a kiddo wants to be on the college path, they pretty much have to endure at one of these places. Yes, my kiddo is excited about actually being able to participate in clubs and school activities that they've never been able to enjoy before and not be up doing homework at 10pm. I will enjoy having 10K+/year to actually pay bills haha. It will all work itself out, but it is going to big adjustment for sure.

[Anonymous]

Quit, not worth the toxic environment, toll on mental health. Kid can transition to a new sport for fun. All we really want for our kids is to be happy.

[Anonymous]

Quit, not worth the toxic environment, toll on mental health. Kid can transition to a new sport for fun. All we really want for our kids is to be happy.

[Anonymous]

At that age, quit with looking back or hesitation. Right call for the kid and for you to support them. What’s tough is that you can see the situations and adults that drug their spirit down and ruined their interest in playing. Quit now so they may want to go back. If play how you described, if they want to go back for HS will be easier than you think.

[Anonymous]

I know my message was lengthy, but they are quitting. I care more about their mental health than anything else. If they didn't want to quit, I'd be pulling them mid year no matter what.

My question is about whether or not someone's kiddo quit completely and then regretted it when they later wanted to make high school or college club level?

[Anonymous]

I wish people would name the toxic clubs and coaches so other people could avoid them!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish people would name the toxic clubs and coaches so other people could avoid them!!!!

It's really not that easy - sometimes it's one small teammate dynamic in one particular age group. It's constantly in flux too so what might be a really bad situation this year, is totally different next year.

[Anonymous]

OP said her son had four toxic coaches. At least name the club and coach initials so others can steer clear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish people would name the toxic clubs and coaches so other people could avoid them!!!!

It's really not that easy - sometimes it's one small teammate dynamic in one particular age group. It's constantly in flux too so what might be a really bad situation this year, is totally different next year.

And for some the same coach is fantastic for portion of the team so then would just get bunch of debates on here if did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know my message was lengthy, but they are quitting. I care more about their mental health than anything else. If they didn't want to quit, I'd be pulling them mid year no matter what.

My question is about whether or not someone's kiddo quit completely and then regretted it when they later wanted to make high school or college club level?

Lost likely scenario is will miss soccer but not the toxic environment and sounds the toxic has taken over any fun of playing. If kid played like you said, if they want to get back into it, they will be able to. Take 1/2 of what you said paying a year and get private coach to get it all back- kids at that age young and come back fast just as if had been out for injury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said her son had four toxic coaches. At least name the club and coach initials so others can steer clear!

Well, I said four years, not four coaches. The coaches were the same for three of them. But, it was an issue with the entire team/club, not targeted at my kiddo. They had friends on the team and overall were very happy with the technical training for their position. That's why we continued to stick it out. This time around it is very targeted. The threads for both clubs are filled with comments about them, myself included. A lot of people have toxic coaching experiences at the bigger clubs that we all flock to (LS, Rev, FCV/STJ, GFR, Valor, etc.). They are all pretty much the same. You can go read the club threads. Every club has good coaches and bad coaches. The current coach now has safe sport complaints filed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid quit mid-year last year during U14 and has no regrets. She was always hurting, had two concussions over a span of 18-months, was tired of all the training, and was sick of all the teammate drama. She had switched teams, thinking it would help, and found that it really didn't. One day, she was just done.

As a family, we enjoy more down time, more control over our schedule, my child has more energy and is still working on healing from injuries.

I will say that HS opens up so many opportunities for more activities, clubs, and sports. Leaving soccer will give your son the chance to explore new activities.

That's pretty much our situation. I am happy they want to quit mid year this time around. It's just over the top unacceptable the stuff being done to them. No talks with coaches or directors have changed it. At the old club it was kinda to everyone. This time, it's more targeted at my child and a couple others. We left previous club to get away from the toxicity and went to a club that's even worse. It really sucks that if a kiddo wants to be on the college path, they pretty much have to endure at one of these places. Yes, my kiddo is excited about actually being able to participate in clubs and school activities that they've never been able to enjoy before and not be up doing homework at 10pm. I will enjoy having 10K+/year to actually pay bills haha. It will all work itself out, but it is going to big adjustment for sure.

You are doing the right thing for your kid. It is sad that this is where the soccer path has taken your son, but all you can do it make the best decision for him now. Also, the college path is far from guaranteed and even if you "make it", it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I hope your son has a great HS experience!