How to handle if you’re always making mistakes?
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Anonymous
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Lately I’ve been making a lot of small and not so small mistakes, like getting the date wrong for a dr’s appointment. DH took time off work to take our kid and it turned out to be the wrong day or time twice now. I am mortified (and yes I did write it down and even check the night before, idk what is wrong with me. I’m 44, it might be a perimenopause thing).
But it’s affected my husband 2x now and he is rightfully really irritated with me. What do you do when you are in this situation? Obviously I’ve apologized but now I am in the dog house and will be for a while. I hate myself. He never makes mistakes like this. He is one of those ultra competent, perfectionistic, highly demanding people so it’s even worse that I am like this. Again, idk why I am like this. |
Anonymous
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If this is new - could be related to perimenopause. Brain fog is real. Read Mary Clark Havers' The New Menopause (covers peri too), research brain fog in peri too (lots of info out there). You educated yourself, you educate your husband, you two together develop strategies to prevent it.
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Anonymous
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It's perimenopause.
I would put more of the administrative work on him. Sounds like he's well-suited to it! From now on he can make appointments and keep them all on his own. If he doesn't want to, well, then he has to deal with you. |
Anonymous
Op here. He’s one of those people who is high skeptical of pmd, he’ll never believe in any brain fog related to menopause. He doesn’t believe in “excuses.” He’s like, just develop strategies for being better. |
Anonymous
| Switch roles. He makes appts, you take them. Or you develop systems. You call a few days ahead of an appt to confirm it. If you make in person, they write it on a card. |
Anonymous
Well I agree with him. It's a reason for it happening, but it doesn't mean you get to say "oh well, deal with it!". You develop strategies to combat it. |
Anonymous
To add to this, he’s one of those people who prides himself on never getting sick or if he is sick, works from home instead of taking the day off. He’s that kind of person. Highly perfectionistic. He’s climbed the ranks of his company and is now the boss. Guess who ordered everyone back to the office. That’s who I’m dealing with. Continually making stupid mistakes like this is repulsive to him. |
Anonymous
I did and I do! Idk how this is possible but I thought today was December 9. (To be fair though I have a really bad head cold right now that is making me woozy). Our kids had it before me and each has to take 2 or days off from school. |
Anonymous
| Don’t you get non-stop email, text, and phone call reminders from your doctors’ offices in the week leading up to the appointment? |
Anonymous
No not from this office but I do from other drs and this is probably why it happened. I get too reliant on other people reminding me of upcoming appointments. |
Anonymous
This doesn't even make sense to me. So you knew the appt was the 9th. Don't you two have a shared calendar? Also why would your DH take the 8th off if you KNEW the appt was on the 9th? |
Anonymous
Be honest; are you an excuse maker? |
Anonymous
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OP, your mistakes are a small problem. The fact that your husband is a jerk is a big problem.
We all make mistakes - some small, some big, some really really inconvenient. Your husbands job is to be on your team, help troubleshoot when mistakes happen and work toward solutions, and forgive you and move on. |
Anonymous
But from what you just said, you thought today was the 9th. Which means you had the appt on the right day, you just thought today was the wrong day. Which means you don't share the calendar with DH with your kid's schedule? And you somehow told DH to take off the 8th when you knew the appt was on the 9th? |
Anonymous
Because I home sick today. I do these appointments normally. We don’t share a calendar. |