Do you discuss with your spouse how often you want sex?

[Anonymous]

Or do you just kind of it naturally work it out?

[Anonymous]

I’ve brought up that I’d like to more often. Doesn’t help.

[Anonymous]

We discuss it. Early into our relationship, we agreed to every other day of “something sexual.” That meant penetration or one of us giving to another one. We are 13 years into our marriage, three children, both work full time, one spouse in graduate school at night and one spouse with a health issue. We discuss it to be once a week. It works for us. When things are out of alignment, or if we need adjustments, we discuss. My husband discussed that he is on a new medication and that his drive is down. Ok. We adjust. I discuss that I need other things but not direct penetration during this time. We adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We discuss it. Early into our relationship, we agreed to every other day of “something sexual.” That meant penetration or one of us giving to another one. We are 13 years into our marriage, three children, both work full time, one spouse in graduate school at night and one spouse with a health issue. We discuss it to be once a week. It works for us. When things are out of alignment, or if we need adjustments, we discuss. My husband discussed that he is on a new medication and that his drive is down. Ok. We adjust. I discuss that I need other things but not direct penetration during this time. We adjust.

This is excellent, PP. adjustments and making it work is all about family life and relationship. curious as what was your husband taking that brought his drive low and how old are you guys?

[Anonymous]

We talked loosely about it when talking about marriage. I didn’t think I’d want to much during pregnancy, he wanted to do a specific position then, so we agreed I’d try it and he’d be fine waiting to resume after birth until I approached him. We’ll sometimes say things like “on next month’s vacation I want to do it every morning “ or whatever, so we get aligned on expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We talked loosely about it when talking about marriage. I didn’t think I’d want to much during pregnancy, he wanted to do a specific position then, so we agreed I’d try it and he’d be fine waiting to resume after birth until I approached him. We’ll sometimes say things like “on next month’s vacation I want to do it every morning “ or whatever, so we get aligned on expectations.

How long was the break during child birth or before and after?

[Anonymous]

We've discussed it but dh has low t plus is pre-diabetic, has ed and overweight. I had to realize that as much as id like it multiple times a week it ain't going to happen. I was always bringing up how lousy our sex life was and realized it wasn't helping the situation so now I initiate once a week or every other week and hide my anger about it all.

I had to come to terms that he cares more about eating like shit then himself and our life.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been married for 20 year and discuss it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought up that I’d like to more often. Doesn’t help.

Try doing more chores

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We talked loosely about it when talking about marriage. I didn’t think I’d want to much during pregnancy, he wanted to do a specific position then, so we agreed I’d try it and he’d be fine waiting to resume after birth until I approached him. We’ll sometimes say things like “on next month’s vacation I want to do it every morning “ or whatever, so we get aligned on expectations.

How long was the break during child birth or before and after?

During childbirth?!

[Anonymous]

He told me what he wanted. He’s the dominant one with that issue. I pointed out period issues and we came to a compromise for those few days each month. Beyond that he sets the pace. I know this isn’t for everyone, or maybe even most, but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've discussed it but dh has low t plus is pre-diabetic, has ed and overweight. I had to realize that as much as id like it multiple times a week it ain't going to happen. I was always bringing up how lousy our sex life was and realized it wasn't helping the situation so now I initiate once a week or every other week and hide my anger about it all.

I had to come to terms that he cares more about eating like shit then himself and our life.

Ugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought up that I’d like to more often. Doesn’t help.

Try doing more chores

That does not work!

I have to sleep with you because you did dishes and laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We talked loosely about it when talking about marriage. I didn’t think I’d want to much during pregnancy, he wanted to do a specific position then, so we agreed I’d try it and he’d be fine waiting to resume after birth until I approached him. We’ll sometimes say things like “on next month’s vacation I want to do it every morning “ or whatever, so we get aligned on expectations.

How long was the break during child birth or before and after?

During childbirth?!

Give the baby something to grab on to!

[Anonymous]

The people who discuss it successfully are the people who didn't need to discuss it in the first place.