What to do with too chatty kid

[Anonymous]

DD is a first grader. Since she started school, I kept receiving notes from the teacher almost everyday saying she talked in class or something similar. Talked to DD and tried to train her to know when to stop talking. DD is very social since was a toddler. She is the one who initiates topics when our family are out meeting someone new, so actually sometimes I truly appreciate her being so social. But it seems overwhelming for her teacher and class. Don’t know what we could do with her as me and my spouse actually not talking much. DD has a bigger sister who is not very talkative either. What should I do to let her stop talking when not necessary while letting her be herself.

[Anonymous]

Your ability to do anything will be limited, honestly, since you aren’t there. Chatting, to me, is an annoying behavior the teacher needs to stamp out. I can remind my kid not to talk at inappropriate times, but a first grader won’t remember that an hour other let alone the next day.

[Anonymous]

You should consider getting your dd tested.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was very similar in 1st grade, and we received reminder messages almost every other day. We tried really hard to help her understand that chatting during lessons wasn’t appropriate. The teacher eventually assigned her to an isolated desk for nearly two months, which made her very stressed. I raised my concerns, and the seating arrangement was changed afterward. Since that period of isolation, she’s become extremely quiet in her class and now barely talks to anyone during class—even after class. She’s in 4th grade now and doesn’t have many friends, though she still talks a lot once she’s at home. It's quite sad, and wish I could raised my concerned earlier.

[Anonymous]

Start a behavior chart at home. Every time she does not bring home a note or you don't get an email about her talking that day, she gets a sticker. Five stickers = she can pick a treat. Have a list of treats she can choose.

Two days in a row with reports from the teacher about talking and she loses a privilege.

You need to discuss with her that her talking distract other students and prevents them from learning. If she finishes her work she can read, draw, write a story, do whatever extra work the teacher has for her to do but she cannot talk to other students.

[Anonymous]

Is her teacher new to teaching or new to teaching this age? I was your daughter in 1st-2nd grade and my teachers worked with my parents on behavior charts like PP suggested. The teachers also offered "jobs" and "extra credit" worksheets to any kids who finished work early to head off kids getting bored and disruptive.

[Anonymous]

We have dealt with this since kinder with my DD. She is now in fourth grade and has mostly grown out of it. I initially was very bothered by the situation and came down on her pretty hard. Over time, I realized what PPs have said - this is primarily a classroom management issue that the teacher needs to address. I appreciate them telling me and was happy to emphasize appropriate behavior at home but at the end of the day, I am not there, the teacher is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should consider getting your dd tested.

For what?

[Anonymous]

It's a phase many kids go through and it doesn't make your kid "bad", but it isn't appropriate school behavior so she does need kind but firm guidance to stop talking at inappropriate times.

School is for everyone to learn. It isn't kind, helpful, or respectful to talk in ways that interrupt other people's chance to learn. She needs clear guidance. I suggest something like this. It is unacceptable to talk when:
- the teacher or another adult is trying to talk
- another student has been called on to say something
- it is time for each student to work on their own assignment
- the person she is talking to is trying to work & isn't assigned to work together

She should slowly work on additional guidelines to make sure she is not monopolizing conversations inappropriately at times when talking is allowed, but the first priority should be to make sure she isn't talking out of turn.

I would role play with her a lot at home, stay in close communication with her teacher, and consider starting a behavior chart tying earning or losing privileges to her school behavior.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at the part where you rely on a 1st grader to start up conversation.

[Anonymous]

She sounds really annoying TBH. I would get her tested to see if she's either on the spectrum or has ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Talk more AT HOME! If your house is a monastery she needs an outlet and that becomes school. So mom and dad, suck it up, chat with your kid and see if that helps. And get her into an activity where she can chitchat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at the part where you rely on a 1st grader to start up conversation.

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

Teacher needs figure out how to teach her without being annoyed with her. This will serve her well as an adult, someone who is not afraid to speak her mind - do not try to train this out of her.

- a mom with a daughter, 3 generations of strong, intelligent women who all talk a lot. And, 2 husbands and one soon to be husband, all love their strong women

[Anonymous]

I would find ways to encourage her listening skills. Teach her to ask good questions to get others to share. And yes, I echo a PP’s comment that it is important to teach DD not to interrupt others or talk when the teacher is talking. Help her develop cues to read the room.