Are you and spouse aligned on religion?

[Anonymous]

If not, does it cause any issues?

Could you imagine a marriage with different faiths working?

[Anonymous]

Yes, we are both atheist. Honestly, our politics aren’t aligned and it causes issues.

[Anonymous]

It was important to me to be more or less aligned and to attend services as a family. The particulars of the religion weren’t as important to me as the act of going and participating in the rituals and being part of the community.

I grew up Catholic and DH wasn’t raised as part of any religion. We checked out multiple churches and went to a non-denominational church with my cousins for a while when the kids were really little. When the kids started school, the Catholic school was the best one in the area, so we started attending mass and DH went through RCIA.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We both grew up Christian and I switched to her denomination when we married (it was attractive for other reasons as well).

I think it could work, with respect from both parties, but there's definitely going to be challenges. I'm glad it's something I don't have to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Same faith.

Our kids are married to lovely people from different faiths. Works well. No conversions. Each follow what they want to follow. And participates in each others religious rituals when needed.

[Anonymous]

We were both raised Catholic. He was still nominally into it when we got married, but I stopped doing religion at 15. It was understood that if he wanted our DCs to be raised with religion in their lives, I would neither facilitate nor stand in the way of it. I guess it wasn't all that important to him in the end, because he couldn't be bothered to do anything beyond getting them baptized to make his mom happy.

So here we are, 31 years and two DCs later, and I guess we're all atheists or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I married someone who is a different faith, and it’s been fine more or less. But all else being equal, it would have been easier to be married to someone who had the same faith. There are so many things you have to navigate in a marriage. Why add one more?

[Anonymous]

We’re discussing marriage (not married yet). He’s evangelical, I’m atheist.

No real issues yet but I’m sure they’re coming. Being unequally yoked and all. We both try to be respectful and we don’t argue with each other. But we do talk about it a lot and listen to the other’s viewpoint. And I do understand that religion got him through some very, very dark times in his life. So I always try to be respectful.

As long as he doesn’t try to convert me I’m good. I’m sure he will at some point, though. Kinda worries me that’ll be the end of our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Different faith marriage here for almost 20 years. It became really difficult after having kids (pressure from both side of the family and disagreement on the role of religion in kids life) and when facing hard life decisions (different moral values). We are still together but sometime I wish I would have married somebody with a vision of life closer to mine and similar values

[Anonymous]

Yes. Both grew up with a significant amount of it (one Catholic, one Protestant) and agreed on raising our kids without it.

No regrets, and kids seem to have a strong moral compass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Both grew up with a significant amount of it (one Catholic, one Protestant) and agreed on raising our kids without it.

No regrets, and kids seem to have a strong moral compass.

We are similar (one Catholic, one Jew) and are now two atheists with atheist kids.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to raise my kids with religion. It was important to me to find someone who agreed with that, but not necessarily to be the same faith I was going into it. Looking at my adult friends, I feel like people raised with religion have options with regard to whether or not to follow a faith practice. Those raised without religion don’t really seem to have the option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re discussing marriage (not married yet). He’s evangelical, I’m atheist.

No real issues yet but I’m sure they’re coming. Being unequally yoked and all. We both try to be respectful and we don’t argue with each other. But we do talk about it a lot and listen to the other’s viewpoint. And I do understand that religion got him through some very, very dark times in his life. So I always try to be respectful.

As long as he doesn’t try to convert me I’m good. I’m sure he will at some point, though. Kinda worries me that’ll be the end of our relationship.

What are you planning to do when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Husband was raised Catholic but has no interest.

I was raised Methodist but have no interest.

Kids are not being raised with religion, though attended religious (generic Christian) preschool for a few years. They all seem agnostic at the moment (teens). We assume they will not be religious but don’t care what path they choose. Whatever makes them happy.

Was an issue with the in laws early on but other than that, has been fine. Married 20 years.

[Anonymous]

My mother is Catholic and my father is Buddhist. My husband is atheist. His parents are Buddhist, but of a different variety than my father. I'm spiritual and culturally Catholic but don't agree with the Church on certain important things.

It's never been a problem.