6 year old oppositional defiant disorder
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Anonymous
| Hi- I am pretty sure my 6 year old has oppositional defiance disorder…question is, I’m not sure what to do. Does anyone have any experience with this, or any parenting resources? Right now, it’s challenging to avoid screaming matches, sending the whole house into turmoil, and I would really like to find a better strategy to manage her. |
Anonymous
| It’s an issue at home, not at school, and particularly bad with DH. She’s fine at school for the most part. |
Anonymous
| If she’s fine at school if sounds more like parenting. |
Anonymous
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https://www.pcit.org/ is a good therapy for this
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Anonymous
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If it's only at home, it is either a mild form of ODD or may not be ODD at all.
It could also be ADHD, anxiety, ASD or other mood disorders. For instance, if she has anxiety or ADHD, it's possible the highly scheduled and rules-based environment at school makes it easier for her to behave because she always knows what is happening next and what behavior is expected of her. In that case the solution might be to create more structure at home and improve communication to reduce anxiety or ADHD symptoms at home. Just as a for instance. I would talk to a developmental pediatrician. I also would go in with an open mind and not assume it's ODD. There are lots of reasons she might be difficult right now, including sub-diagnostic issues like just being on the sensitive side and needing a different parenting approach. |
Anonymous
Spoken like someone who has no clue. |
Anonymous
| I recommend reading the Explosive Child. It really opened my eyes to what might be going on under the surface of that kind of behavior. Your DD is not likely being oppositional for the sake of it, but because she is overwhelmed by something else. And I agree with PCIT. It really helped us. Parent coaching, parent therapy… all of that you can find from someone who specializes in this. |
Anonymous
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Professionals are extremely hesitant to give a label like this to kids and I'm not sure where you are getting your information that your kid deserves it. see DSM criteria below.
Your child likely has anxiety, neurodivergence or a combination of these as opposed to ODD. You need a professional to tease this out. Start by find a good psychologist and get on a list for a neuropsych eval. https://cmhrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/DSM-5-ODD.pdf |
Anonymous
+1 on the Explosive Child. I find the prescribed solutions can be very hard to implement at times, but it gets easier with older kids because it's all about working with kids to find solutions rather than either (1) engaging in a battle of wills that they will always win because, frankly, they are stronger than you, or (2) giving in all the time. As kids develop communication skills this gets easier. Definitely agree with working with a professional and getting parent coaching though. If you are just running out of ideas with her, you need help and support. Labeling it as ODD is a way of giving up -- there are way more options available before you get to that point. |
Anonymous
With ASD/PDA and with Anxiety, it's not uncommon to be fine at school, especially at age 6. OP, the ODD diagnosis is trending down these days, and for good reason. I agree you and your co-parent if you have one should do PCIT. When your kid gets a little older, look into Unstuck and on Target. There are components for both the kids and the adults. |
Anonymous
| Isn’t it too early to diagnose at that age. My kids elementary school teachers told me my kids were likely acting out at home, since they were so well- behaved at school. Which they were. I found it was important to (1) Pick my battles, let go of most stuff (2) Praise them when they are in the other room and you are talking to someone else so they over hear it. (3) Look for things to appreciate while trying to ignore the other stuff (4) Give them chores so they learn they can provide value and praise them for helping out the family. Kids need / want attention. If you don’t give the attention for things they do well, then they will create a problem so you do give them attention. With one of my kids I had to let tons of go that normally I didn’t want to let go, but that kid need a real reset. If the kid and the parent are both hard-headed and stubborn it get into a real difficult pattern and the parent needs to learn to drop the rope. |
Anonymous
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What type of PCIT or parent coaching? I don’t know what to look for at this point. I was trying to investigate parenting strategies for ODD because what I’ve read fits her to a tee (at home), or that’s her personality. She has diagnosed anxiety and is on an SSRI and I’m well familiar with PCIT around social anxiety and I actually think we’ve been managing that very well. The SSRI did help significantly with her behavior since we started it last year, but things have devolved lately. I’m fairly certain she has mild adhd as well and we’re doing all the checklist list things to try to alleviate/support executive function.. As an example, she says she doesn’t want peas with dinner and goes to dump it, her dad says he’ll eat them and not to throw them out, she looks at him and dumps it out. Then when asked why she just screams or completely ignores the question. It’s not always tied to “demands” either - she might just decide to scream at her dad if he just says something to her. My husband is quite short with her which is not helping, and I need to get us on the same page on how to manage her.
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Anonymous
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Hi OP, I agree with other posters that it could be anxiety or anxiety related disorders like OCD. In fact, tantrums related to OCD often present mostly at home. Our DD at 6 had terrible meltdowns around brushing teeth, putting on jackets, etc. It took us a year (and several therapists) to figure out she had OCD. Once she got the right treatment—exposure-response prevention—from an OCD specialist, she was dramatically better in 3 months.
Here is some info on the topic that might be helpful. Natasha Daniels has been doing podcasts on the topic for several years: https://youtu.be/4is9C5WvuCs?si=EDLMxHSt0-GcwmEx |
Anonymous
Exactly, no clue. DD was the same and it turns out she was holding it together at school and would come home and meltdown and deteriorate rapidly. It was a nightmare for two years and we kept thinking it was our parenting and wasted a lot of valuable time in therapy. Finally, she was placed on an SSRI and things improved dramatically. A year later, they added a non-stimulant ADHD medication which reduced the impulsivity. In our situation, it was the medication that turned the situation around because it was the combination of anxiety and ADHD that was the underlying cause of most of the behaviors. |
Anonymous
| Odd is a garbage bag diagnosis. Look into adhd or autism or both |