Stay in dc or relocate to headquarters in lesser cost area?

[Anonymous]

Our 3 kids have grown up in dc
10th grade, 7th and 5th grade.
Company offering to relocate me back to headquarters out of dc and it’s way cheaper. Dh works here for feds but he isn’t particularly happy now but unclear about a job somewhere else. Also I don’t think I can take high schooler out of school as they are happy and starting over in 11th grade at a new school would be terrible. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Staying put is financially smarter. Moving is expensive, and takes a toll on children and relationships, and there is no guarantee the job will last very long as A.I. is taking over so many fields.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the kids what they want.
Since the 5th grader would be going to a new school anyway they might not mind as much as the 7th or 10th grader. Do they have a lot of friends, do they like their school, activities, sports etc...
A while back DH and I were thinking about moving back to Europe where DH and I are from but our two children who were born and grew up in DC (aged 14 and 11) said they would be super miserable if we had moved. I know that my 14 year old would have an especially hard time adjusting.

[Anonymous]

It might make sense to wait to move till your 10th grader is done high school, or have them stay with a family friend for the last two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might make sense to wait to move till your 10th grader is done high school, or have them stay with a family friend for the last two years.

That's horrible!! Poor 10th grader has two choices: Leave all their friends and routine behind to start everything over in a new place or have your family move somewhere else while you have to stay with family friends for two years.
And these two years will be especially hard for the kid with college applications. I mean after those two years of not living with their parents, they go right to college which means this 10th grader and their parents won't have any time together.

[Anonymous]

It would matter to me where HQ is and whether we could have a similar life and friend group. If HQ-town is cheaper because it's rural and you don't actively want that, that's a tough transition.

I don't think you can wait for DC1 to finish HS without disrupting the other two, right? DC2 wpuld be in 9th then? So I would disrupt DC1 this summer if everything else about the move was great and other family members were on board.

[Anonymous]

I would not pull a kid out of school in the middle of HS. That is super disruptive. Sometimes it has to happen - military, family emergency, can’t find any job where you are. But just moving to save a little bit of money? When everything else is ok? No way.

[Anonymous]

Depends on where and what the schooling situation looks like. We recently moved our DC after 10th grade. But the new school (in TX) is only 11-12 grade and combines two 9-10 schools so it was an easier transition than expected.

What does the rest of the family think? I think waiting until after the oldest graduates would be more disruptive to the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Based on my own childhood experiences, I wouldn't move my kids.

[Anonymous]

I moved in 11th grade and it was horrible.

I wouldn’t do it unless I loved my job, had friends in the new town, and it was 100% stable, like my parents owned the company or something. Also, unless my kids were totally on board and really excited about it.

Also be prepared for the fact that your dear husband may not find a job there. Could you support yourself on just your income?

[Anonymous]

depends on HQ location. Better quality of life and options for kids and family, better and closer university options, outdoor activities, nicer and friendlier locals; closer to family; would you retire there?

Personally - I view the DMV is a transient stop. Lived in much nicer places (WNY and The City, Pitt, Seattle suburb, the Front Range). As soon as we can we are out of here to better quality of life options.

[Anonymous]

I’m all for moving for work- we have several times- and I’m not afraid of living in different areas but the 10th grader would make me pause.

I would work to get their buy in.

[Anonymous]

We moved my 9th and 11th graders and it was fine. The older one is happy that we moved in retrospect. It’s not always a bad idea to move high schoolers.

But here, that combined with the fact that your husband doesn’t know what he would do make me say you should stay put.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:depends on HQ location. Better quality of life and options for kids and family, better and closer university options, outdoor activities, nicer and friendlier locals; closer to family; would you retire there?

Personally - I view the DMV is a transient stop. Lived in much nicer places (WNY and The City, Pitt, Seattle suburb, the Front Range). As soon as we can we are out of here to better quality of life options.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends on HQ location. Better quality of life and options for kids and family, better and closer university options, outdoor activities, nicer and friendlier locals; closer to family; would you retire there?

Personally - I view the DMV is a transient stop. Lived in much nicer places (WNY and The City, Pitt, Seattle suburb, the Front Range). As soon as we can we are out of here to better quality of life options.

+1000000

I see comments like this a lot, and my response is it's only because of the bubble you have chosen to live in and what drives you. Many DCUM posters came here from elsewhere for a job and have no family here. They came here gunning to get ahead professionally and with no real interest in putting down roots or getting to know their neighbors. So it's no surprise that the area is "transient" to them.

It's not that way for many of us. For us, it's home.