Wait til 8th

[Anonymous]

Parents: Have you signed this and if so (or not), why (not)?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it went around my kid’s school a few years ago. I signed because it seems that the best way to keep phones away is if everyone agrees to it. We did the same (without the actual pledge) for our older child just because it was suggested by another parent who had older children - if no one in the friend group has a phone then no one cares about them and it doesn’t matter. It is only hard to resist when everyone else has them and is messaging and chatting all the time and your kid is left out

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. Why would you commit to a parenting decision for your 7th grader while they are in 6th grade or younger?

I’m not saying you need to give your kid a phone, just make that decision based at the time, on your kid and your family’s circumstances. Don’t base it on a pledge signed years before.

[Anonymous]

I think it misses the point. Kids can get just as addicted and in just as much trouble with an unmonitored iPad.

My kid has a phone, but it's super locked down. No Internet or social media. Those are the real issues, IMO. Her texts are parent-monitored. I have no concerns and the phone gives her a lot more freedom to go places solo and just check in.

[Anonymous]

1. I wouldn't sign it because of what a PP said. My intention is to wait until 8th grade (have a current 6h grader and an older child) but it's my parenting decision and I reserve the right to do what is best for me and my kid whenever I feel like it.

2. I agree with the comment that the thinking needs to be broader and an ipad can be just as much an issue. However, even your child with a stripped down phone is a bit of a drain on the group and changes the dynamic. I drive girls around this age constantly. The one with the phone, the entire ride becomes about taking silly photos with the camera, playing 2 person games, texting with friends (which is much easier on a phone than a watch). Many of them have access to music and spotify and will watch content on spotify. Point is they will find a way to be interacting with the phone instead of with people even if it's "stripped down". They can go places solo and check in with a watch. My plea to parents of younger kids would be hold off and give the watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I wouldn't sign it because of what a PP said. My intention is to wait until 8th grade (have a current 6h grader and an older child) but it's my parenting decision and I reserve the right to do what is best for me and my kid whenever I feel like it.

2. I agree with the comment that the thinking needs to be broader and an ipad can be just as much an issue. However, even your child with a stripped down phone is a bit of a drain on the group and changes the dynamic. I drive girls around this age constantly. The one with the phone, the entire ride becomes about taking silly photos with the camera, playing 2 person games, texting with friends (which is much easier on a phone than a watch). Many of them have access to music and spotify and will watch content on spotify. Point is they will find a way to be interacting with the phone instead of with people even if it's "stripped down". They can go places solo and check in with a watch. My plea to parents of younger kids would be hold off and give the watch.

We haven't had the issue you discuss in no 2. It's just not how my kid uses the phone. Most of her texts are coordinating get togethers with friends, not having conversations, or letting me know about changes of plans. We keep a close eye on it.

I hate the watch because it's harder for kids to disconnect from being always available and interrupted. If they get a text on their watch then they feel obliged to reply. My kid will just say she didn't see the text because her phone was upstairs/in her bag/etc, which is normally true.

[Anonymous]

Yep, let kids be kids as long as possible.

[Anonymous]

If there was a push from other parents at school or in our social circle, I would absolutely sign it. The peer pressure aspect is huge, and anything I can do to tamp that down, I'll do.

My kids are very young, so I wouldn't go out of my way to sign it right now just me. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it (which I'm not looking forward to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I wouldn't sign it because of what a PP said. My intention is to wait until 8th grade (have a current 6h grader and an older child) but it's my parenting decision and I reserve the right to do what is best for me and my kid whenever I feel like it.

2. I agree with the comment that the thinking needs to be broader and an ipad can be just as much an issue. However, even your child with a stripped down phone is a bit of a drain on the group and changes the dynamic. I drive girls around this age constantly. The one with the phone, the entire ride becomes about taking silly photos with the camera, playing 2 person games, texting with friends (which is much easier on a phone than a watch). Many of them have access to music and spotify and will watch content on spotify. Point is they will find a way to be interacting with the phone instead of with people even if it's "stripped down". They can go places solo and check in with a watch. My plea to parents of younger kids would be hold off and give the watch.

We haven't had the issue you discuss in no 2. It's just not how my kid uses the phone. Most of her texts are coordinating get togethers with friends, not having conversations, or letting me know about changes of plans. We keep a close eye on it.

I hate the watch because it's harder for kids to disconnect from being always available and interrupted. If they get a text on their watch then they feel obliged to reply. My kid will just say she didn't see the text because her phone was upstairs/in her bag/etc, which is normally true.

With all respect, how do you know what your child is doing with a phone not in your presence? These kids have the phone with them always for carpool situations.

With watch, our kid has to take hers off and put it in charging drawer when she gets home. It is put on to leave home. Just as a suggestion if others are finding a similar issue it's hard for them to disconnect with the watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, let kids be kids as long as possible.

I completely agree. (Parent of 7th grader)

[Anonymous]

Group parenting….how weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Group parenting….how weird.

Thinking you know everything and not gaining any insight from other parents' collective experience...how weird.

[Anonymous]

It’s a clever way around the network effects but it hasn’t gone around in my circles. We just don’t do phones.

[Anonymous]

We signed nothing but waited until 8th for older kid and will do the same with younger.

They still had/have social lives, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

We haven't signed it and it's not a "thing" at our school but we have committed to this in principle with our kids and have discussed/socialized it with them since they were very young. They understand that there will be no phone for them until 8th grade graduation. Oldest is currently in 6th.

The point about ipad/screens as an alternative is a good one and setting boundaries and monitoring here is important as well. We control access to screens as well as access to the internet with their devices(including the TV) via day/time scheduled firewall rules.