Pumping anxiety

[Anonymous]

I’m 7 weeks pp and EBF. I pumped last week because I wasn’t able to nurse my baby for a couple of hours and I was absolutely devastated and shocked at how little came out. In one session I pumped about 2 ounces and the other session I pumped about 2.3 oz. Each session took about 40-50 mins. I then tried pumping for 10 mins (different session) but so little was coming out that I just quit and threw the milk away (it was little so I don’t see it as a waste).

My baby is thankfully steadily gaining weight (last weigh in at the doctors was a week ago and we do have a scale at home where I weigh myself without baby and then with baby) and is producing enough wet and dirty diapers but I can’t help but ask why is so little coming out? I did pump 2 hours after nursing and it was in the afternoon and early evening where prolactin levels are lower than early morning but I just didn’t expect so little to come out.

My sister who’s also EBF has a much bigger milk supply although her DC is two months older than mine. I guess that’s what made me so sad and anxious about my own milk supply.

I’m now terrified and dread pumping because I don’t want to see the milk amount that’s coming out. I’ve also been having dreams about pumping and the amount of milk that comes out which is ridiculous to write out.

I just feel sad and worried that I’m failing my baby. He drank all two bottles that I pumped and was thankfully full after and now I’m wondering what if he needed more? Granted I could’ve nursed him during this event if he wanted more but I still feel sad that he could’ve wanted more. I’m wondering if it’s because I’m not eating well or not eating enough (I don’t have a big appetite at all and a history of ED so I force myself to eat sometimes).

I just wanted to vent and write this out because I really don’t want to tell anyone how I feel.

[Anonymous]

This is not a rational or sensible way to think, and on some level you know that. Stop pumping for anything besides comfort, let the baby have some formula when you're out, and consider treating your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that you don't have the right size flange or something isn't set up right. You might read and try some other size options. It also helps with letdown if you're warm (like a shawl over your shoulders) and you look at pictures of your baby. It can be hard to produce as much for the pump if you're cold and tense.

If your baby is healthy and growing then you have the supply. Your baby is probably more efficient at getting it out than the pump.

Also, I tended to pump 4 hours after last feeding my baby, so then I would get a good amount. It's possible that you weren't going to get more if it's just been 2 hours. And supply is lower later in the day. My morning pumps were always much bigger than my evening pumps.

But regardless, your baby drank the bottles and seemed happy. That's a good sign you pumped what he would have consumed. So things are probably fine. He's only 7 weeks. They don't eat a huge volume at a time.

[Anonymous]

You are NOT failing your baby. He's growing and happy. You're doing great.

It's totally normal for pumping to not work as well as nursing for some people. NORMAL. There are a ton of options here - you could swing by a lactation consultant. They have things that test your pump (maybe you got a lemon?) or could recommend a stronger one. If you're not going back to work for a while or work from home, you may be able to manage EBF without pumping much or at all if it doesn't work well for you. You may need to pump more frequently than your baby needs. With my first, I had to do a short pump right after my baby ate in the morning, then pump three times in the work day to get enough for the two bottles my baby had when I was at work - so I essentially got a half a feed per pump. Totally fine.

You may decide it's too much of a hassle and supplement with formula when you're out or working, that's also totally fine (one of my babies was exclusively formula fed and he's thriving just like the other two! It happens!) It's also possible your baby just don't take very much per feed. If you're still feeding 8+ times a day, and he's getting more in the morning, 2-2.5 oz in afternoon/evening feeds might be adequate for him. You are far, far from a problem. You're just moving into a new phase (using some pumped milk) and need to figure it out. It's totally fine.

However, your reaction seems over the top emotionally - feelings of failure, dreams about it, terrified to pump, sadness, anxiety, and in particular, some shame (that you don't want to tell anyone is a huge red flag). That combined with a history of an eating disorder tells me that the bigger problem here isn't baby feeding, but rather your emotional health. I would strongly encourage you to tell someone. Your husband? A close friend? A therapist? I think you need help, not for your baby, but for you.

[Anonymous]

I love nursing and have with all of my kids but had to come to the realization that my supply wasn’t going to be where my baby needed it. Pumping in my case is exactly how much I produce in a weighted nursing feed, which just isn’t enough. I met with a ton of LC’s early on and they all admitted that hormones just sometimes don’t work in your favor. My babies gained weight too, but it was obvious to me they could be drinking more.

The “treat your anxiety” and “you need help” comments are ridiculous, it’s natural to be anxious while feeling like you’re not adequately feeding your baby. You don’t need freaking medication. I’ll tell you once you make the “switch” and start combo feeding, the anxiety goes away. Stop pumping— nurse and then offer a bottle of formula afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love nursing and have with all of my kids but had to come to the realization that my supply wasn’t going to be where my baby needed it. Pumping in my case is exactly how much I produce in a weighted nursing feed, which just isn’t enough. I met with a ton of LC’s early on and they all admitted that hormones just sometimes don’t work in your favor. My babies gained weight too, but it was obvious to me they could be drinking more.

The “treat your anxiety” and “you need help” comments are ridiculous, it’s natural to be anxious while feeling like you’re not adequately feeding your baby. You don’t need freaking medication. I’ll tell you once you make the “switch” and start combo feeding, the anxiety goes away. Stop pumping— nurse and then offer a bottle of formula afterwards.

I'm the 10:33 poster. I just want to clarify that I don't think that some anxiety around feeding your baby is a sign of a problem, nor do I think she needs medication! I think there are some signs in what she wrote that implies that she might be struggling more than is normal, particularly that she's ashamed to tell anyone. This is a normal, normal, normal issue, but a fear of talking about it, nightmares about pumping, use of words like "terrified" plus her history of an eating disorder (so, food can be a loaded topic) implies that her reaction might be outside the bounds of normal and she may want to talk to someone about it.

If she was just saying "ah, I'm so anxious about how little I pumped! I'm really nervous about this whole situation!" I never would have suggested she might have an issue.

[Anonymous]

I’m the “treat your anxiety” poster and actually I’d suggest CBT over medication, but she sounds just like me when I was spiraling with PPA and I wish I had gotten help sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's possible that you don't have the right size flange or something isn't set up right. You might read and try some other size options. It also helps with letdown if you're warm (like a shawl over your shoulders) and you look at pictures of your baby. It can be hard to produce as much for the pump if you're cold and tense.

If your baby is healthy and growing then you have the supply. Your baby is probably more efficient at getting it out than the pump.

Also, I tended to pump 4 hours after last feeding my baby, so then I would get a good amount. It's possible that you weren't going to get more if it's just been 2 hours. And supply is lower later in the day. My morning pumps were always much bigger than my evening pumps.

But regardless, your baby drank the bottles and seemed happy. That's a good sign you pumped what he would have consumed. So things are probably fine. He's only 7 weeks. They don't eat a huge volume at a time.

+1. Also don’t be afraid to supplement with formula. Pumping is not worth the stress. And it can add a lot of stress.

[Anonymous]

Totally get the anxiety- I say this as a psychologist that treats anxiety- I'd start with a lactation consultant and make sure that 1) do a weighted feed to get a sense of supply when nursing not pumping and 2) make sure you have right size flange and optimal pump ( e.g. nothing battery operated, if really struggling rent the symphony- my friend got nearly twice the output of that compared to spectra) before worrying that your supply is too low

[Anonymous]

Your body needs to learn to respond to pump. You will have an easier time if the flanges are the right size (whole nipple should pull up along with some surrounding areola).
Supply is always more in the morning, even if you have already fed baby, so try pumping a few times early in the day for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are NOT failing your baby. He's growing and happy. You're doing great.

It's totally normal for pumping to not work as well as nursing for some people. NORMAL. There are a ton of options here - you could swing by a lactation consultant. They have things that test your pump (maybe you got a lemon?) or could recommend a stronger one. If you're not going back to work for a while or work from home, you may be able to manage EBF without pumping much or at all if it doesn't work well for you. You may need to pump more frequently than your baby needs. With my first, I had to do a short pump right after my baby ate in the morning, then pump three times in the work day to get enough for the two bottles my baby had when I was at work - so I essentially got a half a feed per pump. Totally fine.

You may decide it's too much of a hassle and supplement with formula when you're out or working, that's also totally fine (one of my babies was exclusively formula fed and he's thriving just like the other two! It happens!) It's also possible your baby just don't take very much per feed. If you're still feeding 8+ times a day, and he's getting more in the morning, 2-2.5 oz in afternoon/evening feeds might be adequate for him. You are far, far from a problem. You're just moving into a new phase (using some pumped milk) and need to figure it out. It's totally fine.

However, your reaction seems over the top emotionally - feelings of failure, dreams about it, terrified to pump, sadness, anxiety, and in particular, some shame (that you don't want to tell anyone is a huge red flag). That combined with a history of an eating disorder tells me that the bigger problem here isn't baby feeding, but rather your emotional health. I would strongly encourage you to tell someone. Your husband? A close friend? A therapist? I think you need help, not for your baby, but for you.

Could the issue be partially clogged ducts? There are ways to help with that.