Freshman sleepover

[Anonymous]

My freshman daughter would like to go to a sleepover to her new friend this year. I do not know the girl or her parents whatsoever. It's a total of 5 girls from her school/ class. I'm not comfortable since I've never met the girl (I met some of her other friends on different occasions) and you know I think it's a big change for HS with all the social stuff going on. I didn't grow up with a lot of sleepover and didn't care for it. She has gone to sleepover with kids/parents that we know throughout the year (not a lot, every now and then) but since I don't know any of the kids or the parents really as everyone is new and she just got to know them this year.

Am I being too much? and for those asking why I'm not comfortable - it's because I know there are drinking crew at her HS I just don't know if any of these kids are in the crew or not. She's been to other social events with them before but with a curfew to come home so that was not an issue.

[Anonymous]

I do not know the girl or her parents whatsoever -- why not? Make the effort.
I'm not comfortable since I've never met the girl -- same thing. Make the effort.

Right now you are lazy and portraying it as being a cautious parent

[Anonymous]

Can you not meet the parents when you drop your kid off? Then you can make sure they will be home and trade phone numbers. I don't think its realistic to think you will know all your kid's friends and their parents in high school.

[Anonymous]

I’d say no unless I knew the parents and/or their kid.
I’m fine with mine hanging out during the day buf not at night unless I know phones are going to be taken away at some point.

[Anonymous]

She’s in high school. Land the helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s in high school. Land the helicopter.

She’s under age in an age where republicans think it’s great to rape young girls

This is a no go

[Anonymous]

Where is she on drinking? Is she telling you what you want to hear but getting drunk? Is she in the wild group? Or is she against drinking?

I'd probably allow it with the caveat that I bring her to the door and meet her parents and chat with them for a couple minutes.

[Anonymous]

OP I would let my DD go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in high school. Land the helicopter.

She’s under age in an age where republicans think it’s great to rape young girls This is a no go

What?! Most republicans do NOT rape young girls (and I'm super liberal).

[Anonymous]

My freshman daughter had three friends sleepover for Halloween. I know one parent pretty well (our kids are very good friends), one parent I have met a few times at school events, and the other is a new friend this year and I'd never met her or her parents.

I made sure the two I didn't know had my phone number so they could reach out with any questions. I exchanged texts with both of them just to confirm that yes the sleepover was happening, what the plan for timing/dinner was, and that I would be home.

My kid and her friends are more on the nerdy side though, so there was no concern about drinking or anything like that. They went trick or treating, ate a bunch of junk food, and played board games.

If you don't want her to sleepover, what about letting her go and picking her up at 10 or 11? That would give you a chance to observe the situation and let her have some of the fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not know the girl or her parents whatsoever -- why not? Make the effort.
I'm not comfortable since I've never met the girl -- same thing. Make the effort.

Right now you are lazy and portraying it as being a cautious parent

+1
Not fair to make your dd miss social things when she hasn’t shown anything bad and you are too lazy to make an effort. Have the girl over to dinner. Call the mom and ask who will be home. To say there’s drinking at hs is a dumb excuse. You can’t lock your dd up. Instead, teach her to make good choices. The kids with the lockdown parents are always the ones doing the worst things btw

[Anonymous]

I didn't think this was necessary ~ but when dropping off I've had parents offer to show me where the sleepover would happen. Show me their basement. Again, I didn't think that was necessary and I declined. But if I had seen that: there was no outside door (where kids might come/go w/out parents knowing) or there was no basement adult bar set-up with bottles of alcohol -- all of that would have been a plus.

And probably just the parents wanting to do something, anything to help me feel comfortable - - that would have been a plus.

[Anonymous]

I’d let my child attend.
Swap numbers w the parents via your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter would like to go to a sleepover to her new friend this year. I do not know the girl or her parents whatsoever. It's a total of 5 girls from her school/ class. I'm not comfortable since I've never met the girl (I met some of her other friends on different occasions) and you know I think it's a big change for HS with all the social stuff going on. I didn't grow up with a lot of sleepover and didn't care for it. She has gone to sleepover with kids/parents that we know throughout the year (not a lot, every now and then) but since I don't know any of the kids or the parents really as everyone is new and she just got to know them this year.

Am I being too much? and for those asking why I'm not comfortable - it's because I know there are drinking crew at her HS I just don't know if any of these kids are in the crew or not. She's been to other social events with them before but with a curfew to come home so that was not an issue.

If you don’t trust your kid, don’t send her - fix the problem of why you cannot trust her. If you trust your kid, then what’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d let my child attend.
Swap numbers w the parents via your child.

+1
When my DD started to do this I sent a text to the mom. ‘Thanks for hosting. What time would you like us to drop off/pick up’. Then when you drop off, introduce yourself. Other parents did this with me, since we host a ton. I actually appreciate it. And, yes I’m present/invisible, just what teens need.