If my oldest is in second grade should I have parent friends at school by now?

[Anonymous]

My oldest is in second grade and my little one is in preschool. I don't have any parent friends at school yet. I went to both the back to school night and bingo fundraiser and tried to mingle around with other parents. We had a birthday party over the summer and only 6 kids came and all the parents dropped off so i didn't really meet anyone. I have volunteered as mystery reader and for a holiday party but I was the only parent there. How else are people meeting parents?

[Anonymous]

Maybe you just don't click with the parents in your grade. I never made any friends volunteering at school or going to sports, despite what people say here.

[Anonymous]

I ended up making more friends through my younger DCs class. That group of parents was much more social and sociable, for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Try soccer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just don't click with the parents in your grade. I never made any friends volunteering at school or going to sports, despite what people say here.

Same. We have some parent friends from the preschool years that have lasted. None that started in elementary. I have volunteered for some stuff and I definitely don’t click with the class parents and regular volunteers. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I was (still am, actually!) much closer to the parents from my kids' preschool classes than anyone I met while they were in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

My dilemma is that I am a severely introverted and quiet person. Not your typical PTA volunteer. When I do volunteer, I meet loud, chatty, extroverted people, which is fine, but they certainly don't want to befriend me. I want a pleasant, quiet, semi-sociable friend, but I think these women don't tend to volunteer at my school.

[Anonymous]

I don't meet people via the PTA or volunteering either. It is a specific type of person who has the time and inclination to volunteer, so if you focus just on meeting those parents, you miss out on many others.

I set up playdates and had coffee with the parents of kids' friends (or friends in sports or any activity) and through that I made a few friends. Don't give up - my oldest is in 6th grade and I recently made two new mom friends (both new to the area so looking for friends).

[Anonymous]

Yes, through sports teams. Does your child not do sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, through sports teams. Does your child not do sports?

Op here, I don't think our school has sports for second graders. But no, she is 7 and hasn't done any sports yet.

[Anonymous]

I don't really think you need parent friends.

I don't really have any friends at my kids school or through her activities. What I do have is pleasant, conversation level acquaintanceships with a lot of people in these settings. I make an effort to learn the names of kids and parents, I am friendly and say hello to people I run into frequently, I make an effort to make interesting, pleasant conversation to help make these interactions enjoyable.

I never get together with any of these people outside of kid events. I already had friends when I became a parent, plus I am so busy with both work and parenting obligations, I don't really need more things to do.

But doing this helps me feel comfortable at school and extra curricular events. I don't have social anxiety about going to a PTA meeting or volunteering to help backstage at DD's ballet recital. It also helps me and my kid feel like we belong in these communities and are really a part of them, and not on the fringes looking in.

I think too many people focus on trying to find a friend they can go stand in the corner with. It's actually easier, and maybe better for everyone in the long run, to just work on your social skills so that you can talk to and interact with a broader range of people, without needing those interactions to lead to friendship.

[Anonymous]

I have a personal rule that I'm not friends with my kids friends parents. So no!

[Anonymous]

It is better not to be friends with parents because friendships will shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is better not to be friends with parents because friendships will shift.

Yes, was going to say something similar. We made friends through our DD’s sports team. Now the girls are in 7th grade and some are being awful to each other, and it’s made the adults’ friendships super awkward. I recommend finding friends elsewhere!

[Anonymous]

Volunteering, chairing a committee, my own activities (tennis, running, books)

Now that my kids are older most of my friends don’t have kids or have kids nowhere near my kids’ ages.