Loser Managers

[Anonymous]

How do you handle them?

It is extremely rare that I look at email on the weekend. If there is an emergency, someone will call. I don't work in an emergency world, anyway, and there has been one weekend call in the 9 years I've been with my employer.

However, I logged in this morning (Sunday) to look at my calendar to see if my wife and I could switch who was taking the dogs to the vet. While logged in, I saw an email sent yesterday (Saturday) to my whole team asking f we could move the weekly meeting (always unproductive and a time waster) from Tuesday at 8:30 to Monday afternoon at 2pm. No explanation given for the move and there were no other emails pointing to a problem. Boss just wanted it moved probably so he could vote easier, if I had to guess.

I ignored it.

My manager has texted me and the team 3 times in the last 2 hours. Only about half have responded. You know, because they are out lving their lives.

Well, my manager just texted me point blank "Chris, will this work?" presumably because I didn't answer her previous texts.

Absent an explanation why this is needed and why it couldn't have just been an announcemnet tomorrow morning, along with a quick "I'm sorry to bug you on the weekend, but..." I will not be answering her.

But I really would like to tell her to get a life

Anyway- consider this a PSA to not be a loser manager.

[Anonymous]

My guess is something urgent came up and your manager‘s private life and wanted to make sure it was going to work out as far as moving your meeting. If they don’t normally act like this, in your shoes, I would give the Grace I’m assuming some kind of extraordinary circumstance.

You sound like you really hate your manager, and you also sound a little petty because it would’ve taken very little for you to respond to the message once you saw it. I don’t understand why you were playing games about that.

[Anonymous]

JFC a meeting moved and you're going to die on this hill?

[Anonymous]

And I am an employee representative, so I don’t have a particular bias in favor of management

[Anonymous]

If you're at this point with a job, it's time to leave while you can still choose the timeline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is something urgent came up and your manager‘s private life and wanted to make sure it was going to work out as far as moving your meeting. If they don’t normally act like this, in your shoes, I would give the Grace I’m assuming some kind of extraordinary circumstance.

You sound like you really hate your manager, and you also sound a little petty because it would’ve taken very little for you to respond to the message once you saw it. I don’t understand why you were playing games about that.

Ehh, I think you're missing the point. It's about the interruption, not how little effort it takes to text back. It's also about boundaries and precedents. What's next? Expectation to answer work texts 7 days a week 365 days a year?

Do you call people at 2 am? I bet not. You don't because it's rude, not because it's 'hard' for the person youre calling to pick up the phone.

[Anonymous]

Are they texting you 7 days a week, 365 days a year? It only happened once? Then STFU

[Anonymous]

OP, there’s no requirement for your manager to seek your approval before scheduling a meeting. Your manager can simply set a date and time for the meeting and require your attendance. The fact that she inquired about availability beforehand suggests that she is not a “loser” manager. If you show your manager some flexibility, she is more likely to be flexible with you in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there’s no requirement for your manager to seek your approval before scheduling a meeting. Your manager can simply set a date and time for the meeting and require your attendance. The fact that she inquired about availability beforehand suggests that she is not a “loser” manager. If you show your manager some flexibility, she is more likely to be flexible with you in the future.

DP. I see this as a flex. Like a loyalty test Trump does. They want to see who jumps when they say "jump!"

There is zero reason for an email on a Saturday or multiple texts on a Sunday. It's just simpler and kinder to say on Monday moring: "Hey guys, calling an audible here. Somethng came up and tomorrow's meeting needs to happen today at 2. See you in the conference room"

[Anonymous]

I would reply on Monday morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would reply on Monday morning.

+1

If they complain about the 'late' reply, explain thatyou don't work on Sundays (ane they know that) and there was nothing dire indicated. Force their hand to explain why they interrupted your kid's birthday party or your anniversary brunch or your religeous service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is something urgent came up and your manager‘s private life and wanted to make sure it was going to work out as far as moving your meeting. If they don’t normally act like this, in your shoes, I would give the Grace I’m assuming some kind of extraordinary circumstance.

You sound like you really hate your manager, and you also sound a little petty because it would’ve taken very little for you to respond to the message once you saw it. I don’t understand why you were playing games about that.

Ehh, I think you're missing the point. It's about the interruption, not how little effort it takes to text back. It's also about boundaries and precedents. What's next? Expectation to answer work texts 7 days a week 365 days a year?

Do you call people at 2 am? I bet not. You don't because it's rude, not because it's 'hard' for the person youre calling to pick up the phone.

Ehh, I’m not missing the point. I said if they don’t normally act like this, I’d give this instance some grace. Sometimes people react very strangely when something bad suddenly comes up in their personal lives. Maybe this was that. I don’t see an inevitable jump from this to expecting 24/7 availability. I agree OP should definitely normally maintain boundaries.

But OP refers to her manager as a “loser,” which makes me think there’s an existing dislike on OP’s part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is something urgent came up and your manager‘s private life and wanted to make sure it was going to work out as far as moving your meeting. If they don’t normally act like this, in your shoes, I would give the Grace I’m assuming some kind of extraordinary circumstance.

You sound like you really hate your manager, and you also sound a little petty because it would’ve taken very little for you to respond to the message once you saw it. I don’t understand why you were playing games about that.

Ehh, I think you're missing the point. It's about the interruption, not how little effort it takes to text back. It's also about boundaries and precedents. What's next? Expectation to answer work texts 7 days a week 365 days a year?

Do you call people at 2 am? I bet not. You don't because it's rude, not because it's 'hard' for the person youre calling to pick up the phone.

Ehh, I’m not missing the point. I said if they don’t normally act like this, I’d give this instance some grace. Sometimes people react very strangely when something bad suddenly comes up in their personal lives. Maybe this was that. I don’t see an inevitable jump from this to expecting 24/7 availability. I agree OP should definitely normally maintain boundaries.

But OP refers to her manager as a “loser,” which makes me think there’s an existing dislike on OP’s part.

I agree with the loser point. Why would a manager bother their whole team over the weekend about scheduling a meeting? It's clearly not an emergency and seems like a desperate need for attention.

[Anonymous]

The manager may not be a good one, but she sure seems to be working with a bad team, too.

I might send out occasional emails or slacks over the weekend, but that's pretty rare. Calls and texts are reserved for a crisis or urgent matters. This doesn't seem like one.

But it takes less effort to respond than it does to write this post, OP. You're clearly unhappy with your work situation and I understand some of your grievances, but I think your attitude is part of the problem. I hope you find a different job that's a better fit soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is something urgent came up and your manager‘s private life and wanted to make sure it was going to work out as far as moving your meeting. If they don’t normally act like this, in your shoes, I would give the Grace I’m assuming some kind of extraordinary circumstance.

You sound like you really hate your manager, and you also sound a little petty because it would’ve taken very little for you to respond to the message once you saw it. I don’t understand why you were playing games about that.

Ehh, I think you're missing the point. It's about the interruption, not how little effort it takes to text back. It's also about boundaries and precedents. What's next? Expectation to answer work texts 7 days a week 365 days a year?

Do you call people at 2 am? I bet not. You don't because it's rude, not because it's 'hard' for the person youre calling to pick up the phone.

Ehh, I’m not missing the point. I said if they don’t normally act like this, I’d give this instance some grace. Sometimes people react very strangely when something bad suddenly comes up in their personal lives. Maybe this was that. I don’t see an inevitable jump from this to expecting 24/7 availability. I agree OP should definitely normally maintain boundaries.

But OP refers to her manager as a “loser,” which makes me think there’s an existing dislike on OP’s part.

OP here. My manager is a loser. They have no life. They have no hobbies. They have no partner. They have no kids. They routinely stay past 7 or 8 "because somebody has to get this all done!"

I explain to her that if work is causing her to stay for 15 hours a week extra, she is overloaded, not a martyr. I'm 51; my days of caring about my employer more than myself or my family are looooooooong over.

Again, we are not curing cancer. For purposes of this discussion, imagine us as manufacturers of toilet paper roll tubes. Life will go on if the entire team stays home for two weeks. It mght be hard for people in DC with an over inflated idea of their work's importance but we are not doing God's work or stopping sex trafficking. We make disposable household goods.

She makes loud passive aggressive comments about people 'leaving at the exact stroke of 5pm.' like all the time. She is clueless on how no one likes her.