Contempt of Court for non-financial reasons

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who is divorced and chooses to spend very little time with their kids, averaging less than 10 hours a month. This is 100% their choice. The custodial parent has bent over backwards to try to accommodate a relationships, but the non-custodial parent is not interested.

Despite this, the non-custodial parent is constantly threatening to take the custodial parent to court for what seem like ridiculous reasons. I'm going to change details, but the current issue is that the custody agreement says that the kids can't meet romantic partners until they've been 6 month, and the other parent is notified. But the custodial parent started dating someone that one of his kids already knew. Like another parent on the preschool soccer team, or similar. The preschoolers were oblivious, the custodial parent only dated when the kids were with Grandma, and didn't do anything at the soccer games that would tip anyone off. After six months, the custodial parent sent notification and introduced the older kid to the romantic partner. But the non-custodial parent is livid, and keeps threatening to sue.

My instinct is that custodial parent should call the non-custodial parent's bluff, and say "sure take me to court". Because I can't really imagine what consequence a judge would give. Tell them to stop dating? Impose a fine? Throw the parent in jail for dating another soccer parent? Those all seem absurd. If the non-custodial parent was asking for more parenting time, that would make sense to me, but they aren't.

So, what consequences could a court even consider? I am divorced, and I've been to family court, but I can't imagine how this would work. Any experience?

[Anonymous]

I should note that the custodial parent took the non-custodial parent to court for not paying their share of the daycare bill. That seems like a more straightforward issue.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like both need to grow up. If it's in the order 6 months, they need to follow it and notify them. There is no need to introduce someone under six months. You are only getting one side of things and they may want more time and are being refused.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand what you mean by calling the non custodial parent’s bluff. It’s not like the custodial parent can go back in time and change anything. Non custodial parent is mad, but there’s nothing to be done about it. They’ll sue or they won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what you mean by calling the non custodial parent’s bluff. It’s not like the custodial parent can go back in time and change anything. Non custodial parent is mad, but there’s nothing to be done about it. They’ll sue or they won’t.

I think OP meant to just stop worrying about it and say "fine, file a rule to show cause," Parents who can't be bothered to follow the schedule are unlikely to go through the effort of filing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like both need to grow up. If it's in the order 6 months, they need to follow it and notify them. There is no need to introduce someone under six months. You are only getting one side of things and they may want more time and are being refused.

Kid had already been introduced before there was any consideration of dating. Just “Hi, I’m Larla’s dad”.

Because my relative is the non-custodial parent, I feel confident I would have heard complaints if they were being refused custody.

[Anonymous]

Did you change the facts about what the issue is, or is it really the custodial parent has a new romantic partner?

If that is indeed the issue, it’s unlikely that a judge will really care, especially by the time they get to court.

If the issue was changed, it depends on the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like both need to grow up. If it's in the order 6 months, they need to follow it and notify them. There is no need to introduce someone under six months. You are only getting one side of things and they may want more time and are being refused.

You clearly missed the whole point in the OP that the custodial parent started dating someone that the kid already knew. The parent didn’t “introduce” them as their romantic partner before the 6 months, but the kid had contact with the partner through an activity that the kid was already enrolled in.

[Anonymous]

Judges don’t care about romantic partners meeting kids. At all. People put that shit in their orders all the time (consent orders, not orders that judges write), and it’s not really enforceable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like both need to grow up. If it's in the order 6 months, they need to follow it and notify them. There is no need to introduce someone under six months. You are only getting one side of things and they may want more time and are being refused.

Kid had already been introduced before there was any consideration of dating. Just “Hi, I’m Larla’s dad”.

Because my relative is the non-custodial parent, I feel confident I would have heard complaints if they were being refused custody.

Tell him to take his visitation and leave it alone as it’s not a battle worth fighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you change the facts about what the issue is, or is it really the custodial parent has a new romantic partner?

If that is indeed the issue, it’s unlikely that a judge will really care, especially by the time they get to court.

If the issue was changed, it depends on the issue.

I changed little things like the activity isn’t actually soccer. But the issue today is the early meeting of the romantic partner. Next week it will be something else though.

[Anonymous]

A judge is not going to care about this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you change the facts about what the issue is, or is it really the custodial parent has a new romantic partner?

If that is indeed the issue, it’s unlikely that a judge will really care, especially by the time they get to court.

If the issue was changed, it depends on the issue.

I changed little things like the activity isn’t actually soccer. But the issue today is the early meeting of the romantic partner. Next week it will be something else though.

Is your relative (or custodial parent) asking you for help or are you just trying to make sense of a chaotic situation?

As a practical matter, the non-custodial parent is very unlikely to file anything, and if they do, they will not win. If the custodial parent is struggling with the stress if the empty threats then they may need to check in with a therapist on tactics to handle stress and learn to “grey rock.”

As a legal matter, custodial parent is hopefully checking in with their lawyer and getting advice on how to handle. Without being privy to all the details, I would advise custodial parent to keep notes on the events and to be flawlessly civil and reasonable in all communications with ex (while minimizing to the largest extent possible.) Custodial parent can have lawyer look over responses a few times and understand what kind of communication merits a response or not. Assuming custodial parent is motivated they will be able to pick up very quickly how to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you change the facts about what the issue is, or is it really the custodial parent has a new romantic partner?

If that is indeed the issue, it’s unlikely that a judge will really care, especially by the time they get to court.

If the issue was changed, it depends on the issue.

I changed little things like the activity isn’t actually soccer. But the issue today is the early meeting of the romantic partner. Next week it will be something else though.

Is your relative (or custodial parent) asking you for help or are you just trying to make sense of a chaotic situation?

As a practical matter, the non-custodial parent is very unlikely to file anything, and if they do, they will not win. If the custodial parent is struggling with the stress if the empty threats then they may need to check in with a therapist on tactics to handle stress and learn to “grey rock.”

As a legal matter, custodial parent is hopefully checking in with their lawyer and getting advice on how to handle. Without being privy to all the details, I would advise custodial parent to keep notes on the events and to be flawlessly civil and reasonable in all communications with ex (while minimizing to the largest extent possible.) Custodial parent can have lawyer look over responses a few times and understand what kind of communication merits a response or not. Assuming custodial parent is motivated they will be able to pick up very quickly how to respond.

Also OP if you are the poster who is taking your relative’s custodial time (agreed to by all based on your prior posts) then I think maybe you would benefit from therapy yourself. This can’t be an easy situation for you, but you’re doing a really kind and great thing for the kids. You may see yourself as less important here but it can’t be easy!

[Anonymous]

If the NCP can't be arsed to spend time with their own children, why are they concerned about CP's dating life?