Older "Cool girl" women at work

[Anonymous]

There are a few women in their 40s and possibly even 50s at our work with client facing jobs who are really put together but not in a trying hard way. I used cool girl in the headline because that's how I describe them to my friends. They somehow look youthful even though I know their ages and one of them even has plenty of wrinkles but still manages to look really attractive. The rest of us in that age group like me look like stressed out middle aged moms. Do you know people like this and can I do anything to be more like them? Am of normal weight but just frumpy and it's not just about my clothes although tips on clothing would help too.

[Anonymous]

That’s probably me.
My kids are adults and I simply have time & energy to keep myself together.

I go to the gym, eat balanced meals, pay attention to trends and avoid stressors.

[Anonymous]

I have worked with women like this and one of the things I've noticed is that they tend to have distinctive and consistent personal style. Like there was a partner at my old law firm who wore her hair in in shoulder-length blunt cut with a center part, and always wore glasses with a dark red or maroon frame (she had a few different pairs, but they were always those colors -- very dark so it almost read as brown but enough color to be distinctive). The rest of her clothes were always high quality neutrals, usually in black, navy, or dark brown. She always had really high quality shoes, I coveted her shoe collection. But her clothes were never recognizable labels or even really distinctive pieces, just clearly high quality suiting separates, ribbed tees, cashmere sweaters, etc. She had one big diamond ring and the rest of her jewelry was subtle, and her makeup was tasteful and understated.

The effect was that you could spot her a mile away, she always looked pretty much the same, but very pulled together and professional. The haircut and glasses combo was kind of iconic, like if she wrote for the New Yorker, you know exactly what her little sketch portrait on her byline would look like.

And I think that was the key. She wasn't all over the place trying to follow trends. She'd found a couple things that worked for her and committed to them, and did the highest end, most polished version of them. She never experimented in the time I knew her, as far as I know she'd been dressing that way since law school.

I think it takes confidence and really knowing yourself to make that work, but it's very impactful.

[Anonymous]

Good bone structure and natural beauty (clear skin, even features) really help as you age.

[Anonymous]

Find a few iconic, fashionable older people to follow on Instagram. Linda Rodin is a good example. Her look can be a bit OTT and edgy, but she has a specific clothing silhouettes, makeup, and hairstyles that work for her. Hers may not work for you, but it can give you an idea of how to ignore trends and embrace your own personal style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with women like this and one of the things I've noticed is that they tend to have distinctive and consistent personal style. Like there was a partner at my old law firm who wore her hair in in shoulder-length blunt cut with a center part, and always wore glasses with a dark red or maroon frame (she had a few different pairs, but they were always those colors -- very dark so it almost read as brown but enough color to be distinctive). The rest of her clothes were always high quality neutrals, usually in black, navy, or dark brown. She always had really high quality shoes, I coveted her shoe collection. But her clothes were never recognizable labels or even really distinctive pieces, just clearly high quality suiting separates, ribbed tees, cashmere sweaters, etc. She had one big diamond ring and the rest of her jewelry was subtle, and her makeup was tasteful and understated.

The effect was that you could spot her a mile away, she always looked pretty much the same, but very pulled together and professional. The haircut and glasses combo was kind of iconic, like if she wrote for the New Yorker, you know exactly what her little sketch portrait on her byline would look like.

And I think that was the key. She wasn't all over the place trying to follow trends. She'd found a couple things that worked for her and committed to them, and did the highest end, most polished version of them. She never experimented in the time I knew her, as far as I know she'd been dressing that way since law school.

I think it takes confidence and really knowing yourself to make that work, but it's very impactful.

All of this, OP. This is what makes the look you describe.

One more thing: Know your colors and what looks good on you. I was told twice yesterday that "you're the only person I know who can wear that color; it looks great on you." I know that and I buy scarves, sweaters, accessories, etc in that color and shade. I know what makeup and lipstick to wear with it. And be aware that "your color/ shade" changes over time. My skin and hair color in my late 50s is not the same as it was in my early 40s.

[Anonymous]

I am 61 and about 5 years ago I upped my skin care routine. It really had been just a gentle cleanser and moisturizer/SPF. I did a lot of research and now have a multi step routine. My skin looks so much better which makes me feel better and more confident (I wish I had started it earlier).

[Anonymous]

As for clothing tips, this video does a great job of addressing a styling issue that's important for every outfit you put together. It has to do with transition points (waistline, legs, necklines, etc.) and so many people miss this . . . if it's not instinctive to you, forcing yourself to consciously think about it can make a huge difference.

Beware that it's an ad until about three minutes into it (ugh--sorry), so skip past that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kHd7FH7t80

[Anonymous]

There’s a woman like this at my work. I wish I presented like she does. Very distinctive style. Of course she is skinny and white and I am neither.

[Anonymous]

Being very thin makes all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a few women in their 40s and possibly even 50s at our work with client facing jobs who are really put together but not in a trying hard way. I used cool girl in the headline because that's how I describe them to my friends. They somehow look youthful even though I know their ages and one of them even has plenty of wrinkles but still manages to look really attractive. The rest of us in that age group like me look like stressed out middle aged moms. Do you know people like this and can I do anything to be more like them? Am of normal weight but just frumpy and it's not just about my clothes although tips on clothing would help too.

Can you find any photo examples of women like this? I just took a CMO job and know I also need to upgrade my personal style. I will now be traveling, but as I’ve always been behind the scenes and WFH for 20 years it’s been a struggle to adapt!

[Anonymous]

Knowing what colors, cuts, and styles work for you will make the difference, as will proper tailoring. My Mom used to sew when I was a kid, and, when we went shopping, she would teach me to look inside garments to understand the differences that indicated poor vs excellent materials and construction. Details matter.

[Anonymous]

It's basically wear funky glasses and/or chunky necklaces. Pop your collar, turn back your cuffs and your 87% there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for clothing tips, this video does a great job of addressing a styling issue that's important for every outfit you put together. It has to do with transition points (waistline, legs, necklines, etc.) and so many people miss this . . . if it's not instinctive to you, forcing yourself to consciously think about it can make a huge difference.

Beware that it's an ad until about three minutes into it (ugh--sorry), so skip past that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kHd7FH7t80

Hopping back in to add another video that I think will help. She brings German sensibility to wardrobe-building, and it's very helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQih_eMuZGk

[Anonymous]

Be skinny. Have good skin and hair. Shop at Bloomingdale’s/shopbop, etc.