How often does college child call? How much do they rely on you?

[Anonymous]

My dd calls daily. Sometimes just to chat, often to vent, ask how to do x, y and z. She's doing well so far (she's a freshman) and even found an excellent job, but it's very rare to have a day during which she doesn't try and rely on me to problem solve. Is it typical?

[Anonymous]

There is no typical. Some prefer to text. Some don't want to communicate often. It doesn't mean a relationship is good or bad or distant or close. Just follow their lead.

[Anonymous]

Is this an only child by any chance?

I’ve seen this in girls more often than boys. And onlies more often.

I think it will taper off.

[Anonymous]

Twice a week. Maybe an extra time if sick to complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this an only child by any chance?

I’ve seen this in girls more often than boys. And onlies more often.

I think it will taper off.

She is not. DS is also in college and calls once or twice a week if even, then we text here and there.

[Anonymous]

There are so many factors which vary from kid and parent to college administration and nature of cohort etc. It would go down by spring semester once she finds her college legs. Enjoy being her sound board.

[Anonymous]

Agreed that this is as individual as the kids themselves. One of mine is like yours, OP. Texts multiple times most days, facetimes probably 3-4 times a week. I'd say the breakdown between needing something and just wanting to chat/ share is about 30-70.

[Anonymous]

I have two girls, both in college. The senior calls about every 2-3 days, more if things are not going well. The freshman has called just about every day since she started. She’s doing well but is homesick

While I love hearing from the, and am glad they want to talk and feel empowered to call anytime about anything, I do think it’s too often.

[Anonymous]

My freshman daughter calls once or twice a week to chat. Texts much more often but mostly to share silly things - not ask for help or problem solving.

[Anonymous]

Man this is one baby-fied generation.

No wonder they are so helpless.

The correct answer should be once a week.

[Anonymous]

College DD Sophomore. Text daily or just about daily. Usually just to say hi or tell me something fun. Asks for help and problem solving maybe once or twice a month. Calls rarely--maybe FaceTime every other month?

[Anonymous]

DS. Only child. Didn't have a set time to call us. Usually, he called when he was unhappy, needed help/advice or when he was in a great mood. No call meant things were going okay.

Averaged once or twice a week freshmen year and dropped to once every other week by senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd calls daily. Sometimes just to chat, often to vent, ask how to do x, y and z. She's doing well so far (she's a freshman) and even found an excellent job, but it's very rare to have a day during which she doesn't try and rely on me to problem solve. Is it typical?

One of mine was like that and one only called or texted once or twice a week. Both were fine.

[Anonymous]

DD. Only child freshman calls around once a week. Texts every few days.

[Anonymous]

When my oldest went to college, she left and I heard from her every couple of weeks (other than our group text thread of dog pics). I was really surprised I didn't hear from her more. I never got any frantic calls about stress or anything. Now, my youngest has just started freshmen year and boy has it been different. She would FaceTime every day or two. Or would call when she was walking across campus at night. I have gotten a couple of 'I am going to quit' calls. I think part of the problem was she didn't have a roommate. A friend she made was having roommate issues, so she just moved in with DD. I think that has really helped.